Manipulation techniques: how to protect yourself from aggressive sales techniques

Recently I came across a great classic of the psychological literature: “Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion” of Robert Cialdini. Born in April 1945, Robert Cialdini has a Ph.D. in Social Psychology and decided to go “undercover” in sales teams of various industries in order to understand why he was so regularly incapable of refusing to buy useless stuff he never wanted to purchase in the first place.

You might recognize yourself in these situations as well; the phone rings, or you are approached while waiting for a train and “boom” here comes the sales pitch! 

Not every salesman/woman is a king of the art, but sometimes, you feel that something uncomfortable is happening. You don’t need the product or the service, you want to say no, but for whatever reason, you seem to struggle to do that.

Even if most people today have a general understanding of basic psychology, we seem to be unaware of some basic techniques that salespeople utilize to get us to buy what they sell.

In today’s world, businesses tend to focus on building long-term relationships with their customers and therefore try to avoid short-term sales strategies. Still, nobody’s protected against ill intended people who want to use your weaknesses to make you buy stuff you don’t want.

In this article, I want to expose you to the 6 basic rules of influence that Robert Cialdini has discovered and reported in his best seller “Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion”. 

You will therefore be able to better protect yourself against these aggressive sales people if you meet them.

If you are interested, I will also make a few suggestions on how to use these rules if you want to influence the people that you meet. I would just advice you to use these techniques with the best intentions possible. Studies have demonstrated that abusing influence techniques creates long term problematic relationships with your clients. As always, think long-term and respect when it comes to building relationships with the people around you or your clients.

1      Reciprocation

People often ask me why humans were able to develop so drastically when compared to animals and chimps for example. Different theories exist; one of them is that our ability to use fire to cook meat freed us from the necessity of chewing plants the whole day, which also helped us to develop language and speech.

There might be other reasons of course but what makes us so special is our ability to cooperate and work together. The evolution psychologist William Von Hippel talks in great length about our understanding of teamwork to protect ourselves from lions for example.

One of the rules that we have built-in is that if someone helps you, you have to help him/her back.

Remember the last time you received a Christmas card or a friend helped you to move house, you felt obliged to them.

This is what a lot of salespeople use. They offer you a free gift, a free PDF, they do a free audit, they invite you for tea (in the middle-east) or for lunch…And you feel you have to give in return.

Robert Cialdini explains that the Hare Krishna cult that was begging for money in airports and train stations used the reciprocity rule in the following way. They would give you a “free” flower has “a gift”. People receiving the flower struggled to leave without giving money and would simply throw the “gift” in a garbage can down the hall. A Hare Krishna devotee would then simply recover the discarded flowers and the cycle would start again.

If you want to avoid the reciprocity rule, just see what the strategy is intended to do. The “free” gift is only given to create a need for reciprocity. If you want to take the gift (the free audit, the free sample, the free lunch…), simply take it and don’t feel obliged to give back.

This rule is so strong that it goes even above the feelings you have for the person you owe something to. Studies have shown that even if you don’t like the person that gave you a free gift, you feel obligated to give back.

Personally, I use this rule in the following manner. I try to be as generous as possible. I give my time, my expertise as generously as possible (even if I invoice also of course J). What happens is that people give back when they want, what they want, if they want. I feel good, and it is always nice to receive back from someone when it is not expected.

2      Commitment and Consistency

Another rule that we have built-in our psyche is the need to remain consistent. If you have children or are in contact with young kids, you must have heard this: “But you promised me that we would go to the zoo!”. Because you indeed “promised”, you feel now that you have to respect your commitment, even if you don’t want to or if it is not really convenient anymore.

Another example of this rule is for example when you have decided that you would do a certain activity on Saturday afternoon, you have organized yourself, have bought the tickets and suddenly you have to reorganize yourself due to an unpredicted event. Revising your plan is costly emotionally. 

The reason for that is that you want to be perceived as trustworthy. Trust is a very important key to building relationships.

Some ngo sales rep will start a conversation with a question like this: “Do you agree that we should help people in need?” Of course you answer yes and now you are trapped. You need to find another excuse if you don’t want to donate to that specific charity.

I was recently approached by someone at the train station with the question: “your train is leaving now?”. I answered “no” as I had another 15 minutes and suddenly I realized that I had no more possibility to stop the conversation to “catch my train”. Well done!

If you feel that someone is forcing you to respect a commitment to something you said, realize that they might just be trying to use your willingness to remain consistent to trap you into buying something that you don’t need or want. Remind yourself that you have the right to change your mind and to say no even if you don’t appear consistent to the sales person.

Personally, I try to be as consistent as possible. When I say I will do something, I always do it. I have observed in my career that this was extremely valuable in building trust with clients or partners. But I can change my mind and say no if I see that someone is trying to trap me with my need for consistency.

3      Social Proof

Have you ever wondered why people often don’t act when they see someone lying down in the street? Countless videos circulate on Facebook showing people passing by someone apparently unconscious lying on the floor. You might think: ”people have no heart, no compassion”…In fact, it has nothing to do with that. In a situation like that, when facing uncertainty, we look around to see what other people are doing. As nobody is doing anything, you judge the situation as normal or not needing action. But you know that if someone acts, other people start to follow. In uncertainty, we look around and check what other people are doing.

This is the technique sales people use when they say: “This is the most popular choice”. “A lot of your neighbors have already subscribed”. “Most watched video of the year…”

We don’t have the time to check all the available facts about a certain topic or item we are considering. We therefore outsource the problem to the people who already tried it. This is why comments on purchases are so valuable on websites. It validates.

If you hear a sales rep telling you: “a lot of people have already selected this item”, keep in mind that this is maybe just a way to get you (and your money). I have accompanied sales people on door-to-door actions who would just plainly lie about the success they had with the people in the neighborhood (they had sold nothing in fact).

In the development of my career, I have made sure to develop an impeccable reputation. If you check my LinkedIn profile, I have more than 100 recommendations from different clients. If you want to use the social proof rule, this is one way you can do it with respect for all parties involved.

4      Sympathy

You will probably not be surprised by this one. We tend to prefer interactions with people that we like or that are likable. Not so surprising as I said. But you probably underestimate how important the likability factor plays in choosing who we have dealings with. This is one of the reasons why actors or pop stars have such an influence on people. They look good, are well dressed, inspire you sexually… So when they express themselves on some political topic or environment cause, they are listened to. Does that make sense? Not really. Most of the time, they are not really experts on the subject, but they have this halo, this aura that allows them to influence others.

(Good) Salesmen know that. They dress well, they drive nice cars, they talk to you politely, they make you compliments, they question you, show interest in you and your problems…And suddenly, you find them nice…

In a reality where you can buy about anything anywhere, service from the sales staff is going to be critical. If you can buy an iPhone from anywhere, you might buy it from a place where the sale rep cares about you …or seems to be. 

If you want to protect yourself from undue influence from people that seem to want to sell you something, just remember that you only know that person for 15 minutes, and that it is a bit early to decide whether you want to become “best friends forever”. Remember that talented sales people are masters in looking the part. Nice, handsome, friendly, trustworthy…

Knowing this key to influence, you can also use it yourself. With respect and ethic of course.

Try to dress properly, the best you can. Avoid under or over dressing. Take genuine interest in what your clients are experiencing. Show real interest…This is going to make you more likable.

5      Authority

The world is becoming more and more complex. It is becoming increasingly complicated to master all aspects of your life. Can you fix your phone if it breaks down? Can you fix your car? The electricity in your house? Your website? Prepare your tax return for a complex audit? Decide on a medical treatment?

As the answer is no to a few of these questions, we have developed the habit of delegating our power to experts. We have a web developer, a doctor, an accountant…

We then make shortcuts. If we don’t understand something, we call someone who does and we stop thinking. This is the expert syndrome. This of course was the result of the famous Milgram experience. A doctor (expert) would tell the experience subjects to administer fatal electric shocks and most people would just comply.

A similar experience was conducted in 3 hospitals of the Midwest. A unknown doctor would call an experienced nurse and tell her on the phone that she had to administer a 20mg dose of Astrogen to a certain patient.

4 things are to be noticed here:

1.    Astrogen is not authorized in the hospital

2.    The maximum dose (still dangerous) is 10mg

3.    The instruction was given by phone (which is not allowed)

4.    The nurse had never heard of that specific doctor

The results of that study are mindboggling. 95% of experienced nurses went with the request and had to be stopped on their way to the patient room.

They had heard from “the expert”, and simply stopped thinking.

A similar experience happened to me recently. I was helping a relative to move house. Rapidly, one of the helper identified himself has “the king of movers”. He had moved several friends recently and knew it all. He showed initiative, was taking decisions, so we started to follow his instructions…somebody had to take charge.

Then we made a final convoy. The last pieces of furniture were loosely placed in an open trailer…without any safety strapping. None of us blinked. The expert had decided that everything was safe and ok to go. We got to the new place and as the trailer was not arriving, we started to talk: “That was not a great idea not to strap anything. They probably have lost some items on the way, this is why they are late…”.

Why didn’t we say anything? The expert syndrome! The expert had say: “no problem”, and we just stopped thinking…

Sales people use this strategy regularly. They offer free audits, they hang diplomas on the wall, they use complex language in front of you…Instead of making things simple for you to understand, they make things look more complicated than they are.

Of course, things are often complex and you often need an experienced person to fix your problem but beware of sale rep who deliberately make things more complicated than they actually are.

If you want to use this rule for your personal gain, writing articles is good way to go J

This is a way to show that you know something about the subject at hand and to position you as an expert. When you meet your prospects later, half of the work is already done J

In the meantime, see that you constantly increase your expertise in your field of work. The world is full of really competent people and staying at the top of your game requires constant effort from your part.

6      Scarcity

And last and certainly not least, the famous Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO). 

You are interested in a certain product, but they only have 3 of them left in stock, or the promotion ends in 2 hours or 2 days… There will only be a limited supply…

This is an overused strategy but that seems to never be out of relevancy.

As humans, we tend to be more affected by negative emotions than by positive ones. This is a survival mechanism. We are not so much programmed to thrive than to survive. The result is that we are afraid of scarcity, of dying of lack of food, water or oxygen. This might seem to you long gone (the days we had to struggle to have food on the table), but it is only recent that we don’t have to worry about having something to eat tomorrow. If we consider that in western develop countries, nobody is dying of malnutrition anymore, in the context of 3 millions of years, that is not a lot.

If humanity was 1 year old, we would have enough food to sustain ourselves properly for less than 15 minutes.

When confronted by sales speeches that tell you to hurry not to miss the promotion, realize that this is most probably an artificial deadline. Tomorrow will start another promotion and you won’t miss anything. They want to scare you into buying now what you maybe don’t need at all.

I personally don’t like to use this influence strategy at all. I hate pressuring people into fear of missing out. But I have to be honest, sometimes, my availability is limited and if a client wants me to make an intervention rapidly, he/she will have to make a decision quickly…or will have to wait…so the rule applies itself without any conscious effort of my part.

There we are, these were the 6 rules of influence of Robert Cialdini.

I hope this article was of use to you. I of course recommend you to buy his book. There are in it countless of great studies and examples to illustrate his point. So this book is a necessary addition to your library.

In the meantime, please share, like and comment :-)