Maybe a useful insight for you

The following was originally published on my newsletter at King's Chronicles. I'm sharing here through The Confidence Cultivator because I thought it might be useful to you as well.

I haven’t written to you much lately, because I’ve been putting that time into writing Way of the Three-Year-Old Why. But this week I’ve realized something that I thought would be worth sharing with you. Many of you are following along for the progress on the book, so let me tell you that the plot is developing nicely. As I mentioned last time, I’m really getting to know these characters.

But others are following along for the writing process itself, or lessons learned along the way. Here’s one that is significant for me, and may be for you.

I’ve always enjoyed my work. I get a lot of satisfaction from teaching and from speaking. As regular readers know, I’ve turned back to my first “profession” of writing. While I never turned away from it, in the last few years it has been on the back burner. Last time I even talked about the recognition that had gotten cause-effect backward. I didn’t quit writing because I was depressed. I was depressed because I quit writing.

This week goes deeper, and it’s harder to put into words. The closest I can get is this: I have realized that when I think about writing, read about other writers, study the craft of writing, and (most importantly) when I write I have a very clear feeling of fit. In other words, it fits, it’s right, it’s what it’s supposed to be.

Trite though it sounds, it’s a clear feeling that I am doing what I was born to do.

It includes satisfaction, but it goes beyond that. Rather, I think this is what is meant by the ancient idea of calling.

I don’t think you have to make your living through your calling, although it’s nice when you can. Your sense of calling may actually be embedded in something else. I talked to a real estate agent last week who said that showing houses is the least satisfying part of her job. Her favorite part was fostering the relationship with clients and helping them achieve their dream. It was almost a fringe benefit that she got compensated well for doing so.

Other real estate agents may love the showing part, really getting into the craftmanship of houses, the layers of meaning embedded in site placement and neighborhood influence, the ups and downs of the market. That’s perfectly fine.

In either case, here’s the insight: you need to know that for you. What makes your heart sing? It doesn’t matter if it makes any sense to anyone else. You don’t have to tell anyone else. But you need to know that.

Not too long ago, a therapist actually asked me that question: What makes your heart sing? And I didn’t know. I could not find an answer. I certainly could not force an answer. So if you don’t know the answer to that question, or if you have felt like you had to bury the question because you had to do something else, take heart—literally. Be encouraged. “Encourage” has Latin roots that, together, mean literally “put heart in.” You must find some way to honor that part of yourself if you’re going to be your best self, including serving others and taking care of the things you have to do.

Next time I’ll pull back the curtains a bit on what is happening with Dan, Alara, Grace, and Hope. In the meantime, live your values and value your life.

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You can subscribe right now on LinkedIn to get insights from The Confidence Cultivator newsletter. Donn King is The Confidence Cultivator. He is a professor of communication studies (which means “a professor of standing up in front of people and saying stuff”). He’s also a pastor, a speaker, a writer, and a communication coach. Reach out to Donn to see how he could help you increase your impact, gain influence, and build your career.