Mental fortitude and your ability to do more

In the picture above you will see the product of a seed that found a most precarious place to start its life journey. Through two winters, it has held on and fought to maintain its ‘place in the world’, each year, it has grown stronger, grown straighter, standing tall and proud. Its roots push ever deeper down into the nooks and crannies of the ancient boulder, once part of the sea bed now 1200m up in the mountainous region of southern Spain.

I will not be surprised if this sapling does not go on its journey finally breaking the rock where it has started its persistent journey to succeed. Not letting the obvious hold it back. Do you share the same desire for life?

Yesterday I turned a nice relaxing walk in the countryside, embracing nature and rebooting my modern mind, all too often immersed in social media and the opinions of others mindset, into a ‘life or death’ type trial of endurance, strength, and personal integrity…Why?

Why not?

It was a challenge, to say the least, of my mental and physical capabilities on this day, pushing myself further than I needed to, for no other reason than ‘why not’?

My nice relaxing 6k countryside walk, my first venture out this year, was originally planned to get me back to nature, de-stress a little, and give back a little ‘normality’ to my inner ancestors.

Our modern lifestyle has changed so much from that of our predecessors, it has in fact changed so much that it would be unrecognizable to that of my grandparents and to a degree even my departed parents. Something that needs addressing and dare I say correcting from time to time.

I honestly believe, I teach my students and profess loudly to all and sundry, that the deeper, older, more primordial parts of our brain carry anthropological memories and we need, occasionally, to make them feel at home, temporarily removing them from our everyday lives, for our peace of mind, and our sanity.

As a child I was never at home, that is to say never at home if my parents or siblings didn’t have time to occupy me with games or chores. So from the age of about 5 to 11, although never far from a family member I was never too close either. I was obsessed with wildlife, plants, streams, newts, tadpoles and frogs, fish, running in the grass, on the sandy beaches and river banks, climbing trees, rocky outcrops, and even buildings. 

I dived deep into rubbish containers and built dens (hide-outs) out of anything I could find in them. 

As I got older I drifted further afield, I explored the (very dangerous where many had perished) tidal marshlands not far from my home and pushed my luck too far and too often doing absolutely anything that appeared to be dangerous or at the very least, risky.

I climbed the two highest electric pylons in my county, following in the footsteps of my elder brother but beating him by six years (he climbed them when he was 15 when he did so when I was nine!) Aged ten, and for a dare, I swam across one of the most dangerous rivers in the UK, twice, just because I could, although on both occasions I doubted the outcome a couple of times, as the flow increased, the riptides and eddies pushed and pulled at my body, I had my doubts. I had voluntarily, but unknowingly induced the fear loop into my young developing brain. I had introduced the fear of dying and managed the effects of that fear without understanding how it worked or how those changes would shape my future self!

Needless to say “all’s well that ends well” and instead of becoming a childhood statistic I became confident and experienced through exposure to high-stakes risks. I became a, if only amateur, adventurer of sorts.

All through my life, I have pushed my mental and physical limits, sometimes a little, more often a lot. Straying outside my comfort zone, always believing that “Comfort is a false God”, I have tried to get comfortable on the very fringe of comfort.

But, over the last couple of years, the enforced incarceration of the pandemic and the new increased office-based workloads that it brought to me, my age may have also played a part, now 59 I have started to get comfortable being comfortable!

A couple of weeks ago after watching one of Simon Jeffries interesting “outdoor” mental health-related video posts I suddenly realized I had unwittingly lost contact with the great outdoors, to an extent I had previously thought would never be possible.

You see, I have remained active, I run or cycle every day, but mostly around town. Never straying more than a couple of miles away from my home. Yes I push myself to go faster, further to do more laps etc. I constantly push my mind, and body in equal amounts but in generally built up areas, hence the realization that it was time to get back to nature.

The good news is, due to my workload and irregular hours, I don’t need to take to the mountains, the forests and the lakes on the weekends, when they are busiest and instead have chosen Wednesdays as 'my back to nature day'.

So my first Wednesday out was a gentle 3 hour stroll in nature. There are nice country walkways, a little bit of B road, a country track, and a nice stepping-stone stream crossing. It was absolutely wonderful, birds singing in the trees, the odd fox, some kestrels, and kites, beautiful, old fashioned meadow, buttercups, daisies, some lavender, all in all delightful. So nice in fact, as I approached my car I actually thought about turning around and repeating my pleasant morning stroll and workload detox. I hadn’t thought about work, bills, or relationships at all. I was at peace and one with my surroundings.

I was in a happy place, and then it happened!

Out of the corner of my eye and to the far side of the empty car park I saw a gate with a warning sign. So, obviously, I had to have a look and see what it was. Exploring is what life is all about after all, mine at any rate!

Bear in mind I had just done a gentle 10k, as I had extended my pleasant hiking loop a little to take in some woodlands (for all levels of general fitness) and it was rated as an EASY walk. I felt great. However, what was beyond the gate was described as EXPERT, "a high level of fitness required", and “contains difficult terrain that may necessitate special equipment”. Consisting, I read, of "steep inclinations, large scrambling passages, deep gullies, and gorges that require climbing skills", and “includes segments that may be dangerous”. (Check weather conditions before entering). Estimated time: 7 hours. ,

So, why the hell not I thought to myself. I will go as far as possible, just to get a lay of the land, and then turn back. To make myself a plan for the next week, and a more prepared visit. I checked the weather, and as is so often the case here, a beautiful day, a lot of sun, and highs of 36º. 

I opened the gate and off I went. 

A good path, steep but in no way unmanageable, with some loose rocks and stones, 'be mindful where you place your feet' I thought as the sweat started to build up. This path was nothing like the gentle stroll that preceded it. By the one km mark, my shirt was soaked, and, my long pants were ‘too much,’ so I found some shade and took a quick break to put some shorts on and retrieve my Panama hat from my daysack, while stretching my T-shirt out over a big rock in the sun, to dry it out quickly and adjusting the laces in my walking shoes to give me a more comfortable purchase over the loose terrain. No more than ten minutes had passed and I was back on my way.

I soon reached a beautiful viewpoint. Miles of amazing mountainous landscape filled my eyeline in all directions. I could see several vultures circling in the thermals around a nearby mountaintop. This was great countryside I thought to myself. Looking down into the gorge below and off into the distance I could see water, a lake or wide river, the water looked quite still. At that moment I made a deal with my inner voice, my subconscious. I am going down to swim in that water. 

What does personal integrity have to do with it? I hear you say, and this is my response. It may not be the best response, it may not even be technically accurate but it is mine.

To me ‘Personal Integrity’ consists of, at least in part, the ability to keep promises to yourself when times get tough, when things don’t go as you expected, and when you could easily quit and no one would be any the wiser except you.

Self-awareness and of course honesty with yourself.

I often hear coaches say that if you want to achieve a goal, and you are finding it difficult to do so for whatever reason, it is often a good idea to share your quest with a friend, partner or colleague, post it on FaceBook or whatever and then the necessity to not let yourself down in front of others or to not let down your supporters will give you the boost you need to succeed. That may well be the route, for some. But surely would it not be better to build resilience and integrity into your everyday life, in small steps, if that is what works for you, or by jumping in off the high board, only you will know, and committing to something knowing you don’t want to let yourself down?

Build the neural pathways, the habits that will make you who you want to be!

Test yourself, then move the goalposts for greater growth. Well that's what I think, and that is what I consistently try to do. On this day I changed my plan, not to make things easier, because no one was looking.

NO. To make things harder on me, because I will always be looking!

I was tired, exhausted, even before I had made it halfway down the treacherous pathways, but I had told myself I would get to that water and that meant I would get to the water. It also meant I would later have to get back to the top of this mountain to get to my car and home. 

980m down, an at times slippery shale-covered almost sheer, rock face, intertwined with steep paths and blind drop-offs to a boulder-covered dry riverbed and then a 4km walk jumping from enormous boulder to enormous boulder through caves, inclosed valleys, and tunnel formations in search of the water. Water that always seemed to be just around the next bend.

So, why am I telling you about this?

It is because having reached after many false peaks and hidden turns, the end of my outward journey, it became blindingly obvious that the hardest part was yet to come. I had to get back up. I was tired. I was way beyond tired, and I still had to climb the treacherous path back up to my car. So why keep going down knowing coming up would be harder still?

Going down was my way of telling myself that even the easy route can seem hard until you face your real adversary. The voices in your head will always complain. They are sure to tell you you are not good enough and that you should quit. Maybe they are right, maybe you should quit. And then again, maybe they are wrong and you shouldn’t!

You can always do more than you think you can!

My method of making myself face my demons, to continue ever onwards, of making myself go the extra yard was only possible if I took myself way beyond my known best. I did that just by getting down to the water. All the while knowing going back up would be worse, and believe me I do not have the words to tell you how hard the journey back up seemed while I was slowly, sometimes very slowly climbing back up. Blood, sweat, and tears don't even come close.

On several occasions I was sure I had bitten off more than I could chew, I even planned, wild camping for the night, (I had no camping equipment with me) and to resume my journey the next day. I silently, mentally planned it, mainly to keep my mind off the climb. To not let the pain get to me. Lactic acid was building in my calves and the pain was close to unbearable.

I didn’t stop, because I had made a deal with myself that I would sleep in my bed that night and what are we worth if our words mean nothing?

One of the methods that kept me going forwards was the  ‘What if,” ‘life or death’ scenario. Just a game I play with my inner voice. I knew I was on a day out of course, but what if it had been an emergency of some sort, a rescue attempt for a family member, friend, or lost child, a life or death scenario, would I have given up? What if, this was a manhunt, if I were being hunted, (it's happened before, don't ask!) a life or death scenario, would I have given up and been captured? 

This is a method I had employed for as long as I can remember, learned from my Dad who would often say, when I was struggling with a task he had set me as a child,  “Would you stop now if your life or mine depended on you to keep going?”

I had deliberately chosen to keep going forward, even when I believed I was exhausted, knowing that however far I went down, it would only ever be halfway, I did it to test myself, to leave my comfort zone, and to move my goalposts.

I did it, competing against no one else but me. I did it with intent to make a better version of myself!

By the time I had gone 'off-piste’, straying far beyond the marked hiking route and then made my way back to the car I had traveled 32km. 26 more than the nice stroll I had planned the day before. 22km more than the pleasant introduction to the countryside I had finished by 1100h that very same morning.

As I gained a foothold on the loose gravel path that would take me back to the car, the sun was setting and the air had cooled somewhat, I was still sweating, my shirt and shorts were soaked and my legs and arms showed rub rashes, grazes, scratches and bruises, but my heart was full of joy, my head, light with the euphoria you get when you know you have excelled; when you have achieved something. When you know you are a capable person that you and others can depend on.

That is pretty much how I felt then, and still do now.  My mental detoxification was complete.

Occasionally testing your mettle, your mental fortitude and your integrity is a must, in my humble opinion. 

As human beings, we have so many perishable skills and traits and we can only know who we really are if, on occasion, we do the unexpected. The unexpected of us, by us, and for us. The by-product of which will aid you, and all those who are lucky enough to cross your path, on many occasions. It will also leave you with a clear understanding of the realities of life and your place in the world. 

Being a reliable person, someone others can depend on, like so many other attributes in our lives comes down to what we think of ourselves. Self-awareness in all sorts of scenarios will help you grow as a person and help others see you for who you really are.

You get to choose who you (really) are, who they will see when they look at you, by the choices you make in life. By the boundaries you set, by the lines you draw in the sand, by the barriers you break, and by your willingness to push on when others would not expect you too!

Be safe.

We provide Governmental, professional, and civilian security services and training in Spain and Latin America. Options are available to those who wish to increase their personal safety, the safety of their loved ones or clients, or who wish to advance their careers in Close Protection with professional no-nonsense skillsets.

I teach private, mainly academic, online classes, and in-person; private, family, and group classes in Cádiz province in Spain.

The subject matter I cover includes but is not limited to: My D.A.D.A. program. Detect, Avoid, Distract, Attack (CQC). Situational awareness and avoiding problematic situations; People profiling for your safety; Situational control and tactical conversation; Physical solutions for violent situations; Home security and protection solutions.

In-person classes can include in-depth physical combative training. The use of physical violence for your safety and security.

If you would like information on any of the above subjects feel free to DM me and we can have an informal "chat" old school style!

Alternatively contact me at: www.insafehands.net

mike@insafehands.net