Mindfulness when communicating-Levelling up

In a week or so, many of us will be back in the office or back to our usual meetings and something that I will be encouraging amongst my peers at work is to consider how they are communicating and if it is effective.

Clear communication fosters collaboration. Being mindful of tone, listening actively, and expressing ideas effectively can make a significant difference in office dynamics.

Bad communication can lead to misunderstandings, conflict, decreased productivity, and a lack of cohesion within a team. It can hinder progress and create a negative work environment. It can also significantly impact your success in creating new professional relationships.

So, let’s look a little closer at something we can all consider when communicating…

“It’s not what you have said, it is how you said it!”

I think we have all heard that at some point, right? (Especially as teens, I know I have said it 1837 times [this month] to my daughter)

A recent study identified only 7% of conversational meaning comes from spoken word and 38% comes from the tone of voice you deploy in communication (Dr Grottman).

Your tone of voice encompasses your words. It’s how you speak and the lasting impression words make on everyone around you. Think of your tone of voice like a personalised vocal fingerprint that establishes who you are, what you do and what drives you. Are you confident? Positive? Interesting? Humble? Empathetic? Your tone of voice in communication tells people all that and so much more.

However, even more crucially, your tone of voice directly impacts the connection between you and your audience.

It can help you to build rapport, make connections, influence others and get what you want from relationships, your career and your life.

Your tone of voice transmits emotion when you communicate with others. Not only does your tone influence how others see you, but it also influences their desire to listen to you, particularly in the workplace. Most of the time, people control the language they use while talking with others, but controlling their tone is more difficult.

I am going to draw a little attention to some areas of ‘tone’ I consider of particular importance.

When speaking always be mindful of using a ‘respectful tone’. A respectful tone involves being considerate, acknowledging others' perspectives, and using polite language. It fosters a positive environment where people feel valued and heard. It should always be the preferred tone when communicating personally or professionally, however there are a couple of exceptions.

When explaining knowledge of a particular subject or relaying factual information or statistics an ‘informative tone’ will be used.

It's typically evident that this style of communication isn't based on personal opinion or conjecture about the issue. Speaking in an informed tone is impartial and factual, with no expression of emotion.

Another exception is a ‘humorous tone’.

Using a humorous tone of voice can really boost retention and help people to engage with and remember you but, attempting to be amusing in the wrong context can make you appear unprofessional or even rather unpleasant.

I am going to step out of formal tone here to address a personal area of annoyance; the overuse of humour in a professional context. For me, it suggest a lack of confidence, lack of in-depth knowledge or preparation and it really can just seem a little “cringey”. Lean into natural cues for use of humour, authenticity is very important when using a humorous tone as it can prevent you from looking like you are ‘trying too hard’!

Another area of tone, which can be used in a written context also is the use of formal vs informal and this concentrates a little more on structure and vocabulary use.

Formal vs Informal tone

In an academic or professional setting, a formal tone keeps a courteous tone. Formal speaking frequently uses longer words with no substitutions or other shorter phrases, and does not include colloquial jargon. It is grammatically correct and focuses on facts rather than opinions.

Informal is the flip-side of formal in tone and seems more conversational. Certain persons who talk in the same way they talk to a friend use a casual tone of communication. Informal conversations include colloquial or slang expressions and shorter words. An informal conversation expresses more feelings and personal thoughts.

Further considerations:

Pitch- Be cautious of an elevated pitch, this can sound juvenile or even defensive.

Volume- Low volume indicates a lack of confidence, high volume indicates aggression, I’d advocate recording yourself speak. Or, asking your audience how your volume is.

Pace- I always suggest, if you are giving a presentation or making a speech, to include the words ‘BREATHE’ and ‘PAUSE’ in your notes. Again, recording yourself speak can address if you are speaking too quickly, especially if you are excited or passionate about the topic, which is great but it can be difficult for an audience to follow.

Timbre- This is the emotion of our words and how your face looks impacts your timbre and how you sound. A relaxed face with smiling eyes will encourage a respectful tone.