#MiPDV – Giving Advice

This week we want to look at the opposite of last week’s article about asking for advice. 

Giving advice. 

Something we all do, whether the advice seeker is a team member, colleague, or acquaintance. But why? 

Quite simply, it feels good to be thought of as an expert. When we give advice, we are imparting some of our knowledge to someone who often does not have the same expertise or experience we have. 

Is there a good way to give advice? 

There is quite a bit of research on the topic, leading to the conclusion that some ways of delivering advice are better than others. 

First, though, let’s be clear: we are commenting about giving advice to someone who has asked for it. Unsolicited advice, in my experience, is a lose-lose situation – neither the recipient nor the giver ends up happy with the result. 

Here’s an example: I was attending a meeting where a vendor was trying to sell a project to the prospect. It was an organization that the vendor had worked with before, but the client had brought in some new people who were unfamiliar with the vendor. 

The new leader for the client said that in this project, they planned to do A, B, and C to lead to a successful outcome. 

The leader of the vendor responded with, “Don’t do that! You’ll just waste your money. Instead, hire us to do X, Y, and Z – we will cost less, and your outcome will be better.” 

After a bit of back-and-forth between these two leaders, the client said, “With all due respect, I was hired by this organization because I have expertise in A, B, and C, and I have a track record of delivering outstanding results using this method.” They went on to express their frustration with the unsolicited advice and how it was delivered. 

The result? The vendor not only lost a 6-figure opportunity, but they also lost the client – that client has not done business with the vendor since that meeting.

While an extreme example, the scenario is all too common. Think of how many times in meetings we offer unsolicited advice to others. It seems that as soon as we hear a bit of an issue, we move into “solution mode” and tell the speaker how the problem should be solved … even if we weren’t asked. 

Yet providing advice is a key part of being a leader – you’re constantly being asked for your thoughts and advice on a wide array of topics.  

How, then, do we give advice well without crossing into the “unsolicited advice zone”? 

In an article on The Muse , Sarah Kauss , founder of S'well provides 5 practical steps to giving advice:

1. Deliver it for the Right Reason – if you’re not providing advice with an altruistic intent, then it’s probably better to not give any advice.
2. Read the Room – did the person ask for your advice? Or are you putting yourself in the position of the leader in the example, above, who angered a client and lost a significant piece of business?
3. Understand Your Target – it is best if you know the person so you can provide advice in the format they prefer.
4. Keep It Brief – enough said.
5. Know Your Expertise – keep with what you know. If you’re asked something that is outside your area of expertise, it does no one any good for you to speculate.

You can read the full article here:

There are additional nuances outlined in The Art of Giving and Receiving Advice, a 2015 article in the Harvard Business Review . Authors David A. Garvin and Joshua D. Margolis start with understanding the kind of advice you’ve been asked for; they identify 4 types: 

• Discrete advice – for a single decision
• Counsel – for complex or unfamiliar situations
• Coaching – relating to skills, self-awareness, or self-management
• Mentoring – relating to career development

They also identified several potential issues with the advice giver; while some of these issues align nicely with the Kauss article, they touch on three that are noteworthy:

•  Misdiagnosing the problem – if you don’t clearly understand the problem you’re being asked about, how can you give good advice?  Sometimes, we either don’t probe deeply enough to understand, or we jump to conclusions based on our own experience, or the advice seeker provides incomplete information.
• Communicating advice poorly – if the advice seeker does not clearly understand your advice, then it does them no good. Indeed, unclear or misunderstood advice could create more harm than good.
• Mishandling the aftermath – how will you react if the advice seeker does not follow your advice? 

How do these authors recommend giving advice? They also offer a five-step process:

1.  Find the right fit – do you have the time, expertise, and experience to help?
2. Develop a shared understanding – make sure both parties are clear on the problem and allow sufficient time to provide advice.
3. Craft alternatives – remember that you’re providing advice, not making the decision. Therefore, it can be helpful to offer multiple alternatives for the advice-seeker to consider.
4. Converge on a decision – while this is the responsibility of the advice seeker, the advice-giver can potentially be available for additional discussions.
5. Put it into action – whatever the advice-seeker chooses to do, nothing happens unless they act. The authors recommend reiterating that the decision, actions, and consequences are the advice seeker’s, not the advice giver.

You can read the full article here:

Putting this all together, the bottom line is that we need to be careful in giving advice. Too often, we are guilty of giving unsolicited advice, or we rush through the process, so we are not helping the advice seeker as much as we could be. 

What works best for you when you give advice? 

That’s mi punto de vista #MiPDV.