Momma Knows Best

As we approach Mother's Day, I wanted to take a moment and "ask mom" for one more thing - some advice!

In preparing this article, I asked 8 working moms to help me answer a question. And in perfect "son-to-mom" fashion, the question was kind of vague, difficult to answer, and due this week. 🤣

The question was this: Mom... Mom... Mommmmm. Mommy?? Mom? Mommy? MOM!!!!! What ummmm what uh... you're not listening!! Mom... what advice would you give the next generation as they think about how to build strong relationships throughout their lives and careers?

In perfect motherly execution, each of the 8 working mothers I interviewed provided thoughtful, timely insights for anyone aspiring to enhance their relationship-building skills both personally and professionally.

First, let me introduce my panel of amazing mothers.

Kristin Erika Hand, MSN, RN, OCN, CBCN - In addition to having more letters after her name than in her name, Kristin is my beautiful wife of 12 years, best friend of 21 years, and the incredible mother of our 3 children. She's an Oncology Nurse Navigator for Penn Medicine, University of Pennsylvania Health System . I've admired her for 21 years and I tell our kids all the time, "Your welcome. If I wasn't so persuasive in high school, you wouldn't have the best mom in the world right now."

Ginny Hand, RN, MSCN - Again... you nurses and your acronyms. Oh happy Nurses Week! Not sure what's crazier, the fact that she (Virginia) is named after a state her family has never lived in, or the fact that she still loves me despite being a constant pain. Ginny is my wonderful mother. She cares deeply about other people, her family, and her community.

Karin Copeland - Karin is the founder and CEO of CreateXChange . When Karin walks into a room, she lights it up along with everyone in it. I'm honored to have her on the Board of Advisors for my new business, and she is an incredible connector.

Najwa Corum, MBA - Najwa manages early career professionals at The Chemours Company . She and I have been friends for a long time and in our work together I got to witness first-hand how much she cares for the next generation of leaders in our community.

Amy Trojanowski - Amy is CFO of TW Metals LLC . Amy and I have a unique relationship in that she was an executive at one of my clients a decade ago when I was a young business development guy. Instead of labeling me "sales dork" and keeping me at arms-length, Amy was so kind to embrace me as an equal and our relationship evolved into a true friendship. We constantly check on each other and root for each other's success.

Cora Walker - Cora is CHRO at OmniCable . I had the pleasure of witnessing Cora's parenting firsthand as a neighbor across the street for 5 years. I can attest that she did a phenomenal job raising 3 mature, social, and driven young adults - all while balancing the demands of an executive position. Oh and fun fact: I bought her house right before Covid and am writing this article in the same home she raised those kids in.

Jane Scaccetti - Jane's resume would take a day to write - Founder/CEO of a successful tax/accounting firm with her name in it (now a part of Armanino ), board member and trustee to like everything, the list goes on. I also had the pleasure of working with her daughter and my good friend, Allison Fumo . If you ever had the pleasure of meeting Jane, you'll know why I was thrilled to interview her for this article.

Ashleigh (Kiggans) Rossi - Ashleigh is my non-Philly contributor. She hails all the way down 95 to Frederick, MD. Ashleigh is VP at MacRo Commercial Real Estate , and with 2 teenagers at home she still somehow finds time to run a legit real estate empire in Maryland. Side note: she married my best friend and in the middle of the reception they blasted the Burger King theme song and threw whoppers from the terrace to the drunk and hungry patrons on the dance floor. 10/10. Highly recommend.

OK, now for the actual article...

After going through all these mothers' thoughtful responses, I discovered some overarching themes that I'm excited to share with you.

Start 'em Young

Karin believes in starting young when it comes to networking. She explained her approach vividly: "I threw my kids into the deep end of networking by taking them to events with world-class visionaries right through their teen years. It was part survival training, part social experiment." She emphasized the practicality of these early lessons: "They learned to mingle, ask questions that made them seem like mini Einsteins, and listen like their next meal depended on it."

In a follow-up conversation with Karin, she talked openly about the awkwardness of meeting new people. No one is truly "born with it". Some naturally enjoy the company of others, but everyone has to work on the skill. Just like any skill, the earlier you start, the better you'll be in your later years when it really matters.

"These weren't just party tricks," she told me. "They were life skills for acing any chat, from boardrooms to barbecues."

Oh Wait, I'm Suppose to be Networking?

Najwa regretted not realizing sooner the power of networking. Reflecting on the importance of it, she shared:

"Unfortunately, I didn't realize this until a couple of years into my career. No one had ever mentioned it to me. Instead, I was always told that if I worked hard, opportunities would come my way."

She emphasized the real game-changer in her career: "While that statement may be true... Building relationships and a strong network with people on my team and outside of it has been the key to my success in the working world."

We're always told it's not what you know; it's who you know. Then we curate our school curriculums, collegiate admissions, and campus hire interviews to focus primarily on the "what you know". It's unfortunately not until later that we are confronted with the reality that we should have been working on the "who you know" this whole time. Najwa's real-life story proves that it's important to focus on the relationships as much as the content, and that it's never too late to start.

Just Say 'Hello' and Be Authentic

Cora's response to my question focused on the importance of genuine interactions: "My simple advice for the next generation is this: navigating the professional world is all about building relationships with intention and that requires vulnerability, authenticity, and the desire to learn something about another human being. You must be willing to put yourself out there and trust that being you is enough."

For those who struggle with the idea of being authentic to strangers and lead interactions with vulnerability, Cora provided this advice:

"We succeed... when we open ourselves up to new experiences. Take a deep breath, take a step forward, and just say 'hello'. It all starts with human connection."

The Generosity of Spirit in Networking

Jane shared her philosophy of giving, inspired by The Go Giver: "The book says to shift your focus from getting to giving. Not to get back, just to give. Do the same with relationships. Seek relationships intending to help others." She further explained the dual benefit of this approach: "In turn, you will find they have things to give to you."

As Jane continued, she discussed the importance of building the proverbial "village" around you to be successful. She wrote this so beautifully:

Building a village doesn’t mean you're needy. It requires strength. It requires you to realize a journey with others is fun, helping others is rewarding, and seeking help isn’t a sign of weakness.

The Past is the Present. The Present is the Past.

Amy reflected on her extensive career, highlighting the enduring value of relationships: "In your career, you’ll make many connections too – the key to navigating these times is being true to your authentic self, and get to know people." She added a personal testament to the power of long-standing relationships: "My current role as a CFO is partially due to a relationship with a former supervisor with whom I worked nearly 20 years ago!"

As Amy continued to recount all the threads that weave her prior relationships with her present day, she dropped a little motherly nugget all of us should take with us in life:

In our connected world, every city is much smaller, industries are more connected... You just never know when you’ll bump into your past, or a person who will be very important to your future!

Cherishing Old Friends and Welcoming New Ones

***My wife and mom independently shared similar advice, so I combined both into one section. This section is a bit longer, but so important... and also they're the most important women in my life, so they get the largest section. Not my first rodeo 😉*** 

Kristin spoke about the important distinction between old and new friendships, and how it's okay to treat them differently but appreciate them both the same.

She talked about the challenges of sustaining new friendships as a working mother of 3. "In this stage of my life, it is rare to find someone that has the same interests, shares similar values, lives near you to make hanging out convenient, and has time themselves to develop a friendship. And do I even have the time? Most likely not."

Acknowledging this challenge forced an unexpected revelation in her friendship journey:

"This phase of my life has enabled me to rekindle old relationships with my best friends from high school. We already know each other. My advice would be to lean on relationships forged years ago. Being with people that already know YOU is rare as you get older."

While old friends are always there to pick you up, new friendships are just as important with the right perspective:

"Knowing that friendships can just be casual has helped me too. I may really connect with a fellow mom, but the only time we chat is at our kids' baseball games. And that is okay. I still leave those conversations happier, with the benefit of human connections and shared experience."

"And then finally, when meeting new friends [as a working professional], realize that most of these people are in the same situation as you. Just trying to find time to shower. Be open, flexible, and don't take yourself too seriously. If plans don't work out, try again next time. Babysitters fall through, kids get sick, and sometimes the thought of going out is too much after a very long day. So give each other grace and kindness always."

Ginny shared a similar revelation as she found herself juggling 4 kids and a career in her 30s.

"Professionally it's great to network with a variety of people but let's face it, you can't always go out for a drink with the 20 somethings when you know you have to get home to make dinner, do the wash, and see to homework."

Knowing the fleeting nature of new relationships during this phase of life, Ginny decided to organize:

"I joined a 'mother's group' when my children were young.  We laughed, cried, and supported each other. Our children are married now and have children of their own, and we still get together once a month."

Sometimes you reach an age where the pursuit of your life/family goals interferes with your relationship development goals. Ginny wants us all to remember the simplicity of a relationship, and how relationships can be as little as a cup of coffee with someone else who also shares your life stage.

"Sharing a cup of coffee at the beginning of the day with another mom gives you both the opportunity to unwind and center each other. It's important to have a sounding board, someone to pick you up when you're down, and to laugh and enjoy."

The Building is never Completed

"Relationship building has no end date. Consistency is key."

Ashleigh emphasized the ongoing nature of relationship building, and that true relationship building is never complete.

"You don’t just build a relationship in one meeting. Relationship building is more than just exchanging business cards. It’s reaching out on a birthday or professional accomplishment. It’s grabbing coffee 'just because'. It’s taking the time to truly connect with a person."

I love Ashleigh's advice, because I believe technology has made it too easy for us to go a mile wide and an inch deep in our relationships. It's too easy to sit behind our screens clicking a preset "Happy Birthday!" button on someone's Facebook page, or double-clicking a picture of someone's child's birthday instead of calling them and saying "Jenny is 6 already!?!? Happy Birthday!"

Just because we're "connected" doesn't mean we're connecting. Relationship building is about the act of building, not the expectation that it'll ever be completely built.

...yeah I quoted myself, whatever. It's a long article.

Conclusion

I love the mothers in my life, and as this article makes evident, I love the mothers in your life too. Because the one thing I know about moms, is that they are committed 100% to the happiness of others. These stories from working mothers provide merely a glimpse of the wisdom that lies in that 3-letter word "mom".

As we celebrate Mother's Day this Sunday, I hope these insights remind us of the profound impact relationships have on both our personal growth and professional success. The collective wisdom of these 8 moms offers a motherly blueprint for anyone looking to enrich their interactions and deepen their connections.

Thank you to the wonderful mothers who made this article possible, and Happy Mothers' Day!

About the Author

Sean is the author of That Was Awkward: 7 Secrets of an Awkward Networker and the founder of Awkward Networker, a professional development website focused on encouraging and mentoring networkers by providing his tips and techniques to avoid the natural awkwardness of networking. Sean is also the founder and CEO of a business development consulting firm, Selling By Hand, where he helps organizations harness the power of relationship development to exceed their most ambitious sales goals.