Most people are vulnerable in one way or another at some point in their lives. Many of us are very good at hiding it.

How to spot a customer who’s lacking resilience or facing challenges

Spotting vulnerability—whether it’s a lack of resilience, ill health, financial difficulties, or personal challenges—can be difficult because the signs aren’t always obvious.

Being able to recognise when a customer is facing challenges is crucial. It allows you to offer the right kind of support, help them feel understood, and potentially stop a small issue from becoming a big problem.

Here’s how you can identify when a customer might be struggling, even if it’s not immediately obvious.  

1. Subtle shifts in behavior

Often, vulnerability shows up as changes in behaviour. Deviations from what you would consider "normal" in that situation. A customer who is usually chatty and upbeat might suddenly become more withdrawn or quiet. Someone might seem unreasonably angry or frustrated. These shifts may not scream “I’m struggling,” and often we take them personally but they can be signs that something isn’t right.

2. Over-apologising or doubting themselves

When someone is lacking resilience, their confidence often takes a hit. You might notice a customer apologising constantly, even for things that aren’t their fault. They might also second-guess themselves or say things like, “I’m sorry I’m being difficult,” or “I’m just bad at this.” This self-doubt can be a clear sign that they’re feeling vulnerable or overwhelmed.

People who are going through tough times tend to be hard on themselves, so if you spot a customer consistently downplaying their abilities or apologising for no reason, it’s a good indicator they could use some extra support.

 3. Appearing tired or distracted

Challenges and stress often show up physically. If a customer seems unusually tired, distracted, or just not fully engaged in the conversation, it might be because they’re carrying a lot mentally or emotionally. They may be struggling to focus, forget details, or seem irritated and flustered during your interactions.

These non-verbal cues can tell you a lot about what’s going on under the surface, even if the customer doesn’t say anything outright.

4. Dropping hints about life struggles

Sometimes, people will hint at their challenges without diving into the details. A customer might casually mention financial difficulties, health issues, or family problems, but quickly brush it off as if it’s no big deal. These comments can give you a peek into the pressures they’re facing, even if they’re trying to downplay it.

 For example, they might say things like:

• “It’s been a rough few weeks.”

• “Money’s tight right now.”

• “I’ve just got a lot on my plate.”

If you hear comments like this, it’s worth being a bit more patient and offering additional support, because there’s likely more going on than they’re letting on.

5. Avoiding or disengaging

When people are overwhelmed, they sometimes pull back. A customer who’s usually responsive might start cancelling meetings, taking longer to reply, or seem generally disengaged from your conversations. It’s easy to assume they’re just busy, but sometimes this withdrawal is a sign that they’re struggling to keep up with everything on their plate.

If you notice someone starting to disengage, check in with them. It could be that they’re going through something difficult and don’t know how to ask for help.

6. Difficulty making decisions

When someone’s resilience is low, even small decisions can feel like a mountain to climb. A customer might struggle with choices they would usually make quickly or keep changing their mind. They might ask for more advice or reassurance than usual, or seem paralysed by indecision.

This could be a sign that they’re feeling overwhelmed and don’t have the mental or emotional bandwidth to make decisions easily.

7. Physical signs of stress

While we shouldn’t make assumptions based on appearance alone, stress can show up in obvious ways. If a customer looks particularly tired, tense, or like they haven’t been sleeping well, it could be a sign that they’re under more pressure than usual.

Look for signs like:

• Dark circles under their eyes

• Fidgeting or nervous habits

• A distracted or distant demeanor

These could indicate that they’re dealing with challenges and might need a bit more understanding and support.

How to Approach It

Once you’ve noticed the signs that a customer might be struggling, it’s important to approach them with empathy. You don’t need to pry into their personal life, but there are ways to offer support that can make a big difference:

• Ask how they’re doing: Sometimes, a simple “How are you? or Are you ok?” can open the door for them to share if they feel comfortable.

• Be flexible: If you can, offer flexibility around deadlines or processes. This can take some pressure off them.

• Offer solutions or resources: Whether it’s financial advice, connecting them with support services, or just being more patient, offering helpful solutions can ease their burden.

• Listen without judgment: Set your judgement aside. Sometimes, just having someone listen and validate their feelings is all they need to feel a bit more resilient.

Conclusion

Vulnerability doesn’t always look the way we expect it to look. It’s not always about someone breaking down or directly asking for help.

Often, it’s hidden in small changes, quiet hints, or a customer who seems a bit off. By staying tuned in to these signs—like subtle behavior shifts, self-doubt, or disengagement—you can offer the support that helps them through the tough times.

It’s not always about fixing their problems, but about being there, showing empathy, and creating an environment where they feel safe enough to share their struggles if they need to.

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