My Response-ability

Perspective

Originally Published on my Site

Bait was focused on the assorted colours glimmering at a distance and could barely make out the shape of the figure through the glass: “Come on Bubble, swim faster.  It is starting to look more clear.”

Bubble didn't mind to follow Bait, who was often steaming ahead. In some ways, life was made easier. Although, at times Bait would push things too far and this would give Bubble the perfect opportunity to indulgently complain and accuse Bait of wasting their time.   

Bubble noticed Bait had stopped. 

Bait: “This is not the way. Let's try something else. Follow me but swim below me.”

Without further explanation, Bait swam ahead trying to remember if he had been this way before. He wasn't entirely sure but he must concentrate, he reminded himself.

Bubble swam below Bait obediently only to notice Bait had once again stopped.

Bait: “ I doubt this made much difference. Why don't you swim above me?”

Bubble swam above whilst thinking to herself: “I am sure we have come this way already! It looks ever so familiar”

“Bubble, stop.  I got it.  You need to swim anti-clockwise, whilst I swim clockwise”, Bait shouted out excitedly.   “We need to have opposite perspectives to find the way out”, Bait further offered although he was unsure if Bubble particularly cared either way.

Soon, Bubble was facing a frustrated Bait. 

Bubble offered: “I didn't notice anything different. You mind telling me what we are looking for, anyway?”

Bait: “ Bubble, we are going round and round, or have you not noticed yet? We must think harder.  Try to use that little brain of yours so that we can find a way out. Come on, let's try something else. Let's try to swim in a synchronized fashion and see if we spot something different.”

Although Bubble could have taken offense at Bait's patronizing little speech, she decided to save her energy and follow suit.  She always had this feeling that Bait’s criticism were more self-criticism but directed at her to defend his sensitive ego. 

Round and round they swam till the lights were switched off. 

Bubble: “I am tired and Max switched the lights off. I am going to sleep Bait.”

Bait felt disappointed. He tried to remember all the thoughts he had covered the whole day, but was too tired to think any further. He thought to himself: “ I will start tomorrow again…”

As the sun rose, little Max ran over to the fish bowl to give Bubble and Bait some food. He looked down at the little fish swimming in the large glass bowl.

Max poked at the bowl whilst shouting over to his mum who was busy making breakfast: “Mum, do you think it's true that fish have a 3 second memory?”  

Mum offered sincerely: “I wouldn't know. It could be a myth or true.”  Then she wondered out loud: “But imagine Max, the pros and cons of that?!”

With Max gone and breakfast time over, the time had come for Bait to get to work. He ordered Bubble autocratically: “Come on, lets go.”

Bubble paused. She felt an inner strength rooting her to her position. She heard herself say out loud: “No!”

Bait looked at Bubble with a surprise.  Bubble sounded different - rather confident and assertive. After a moment he laughed: “Suit yourself. I have a lot to do and places to go”

Bubble stated: “You are just going round and round in circles. It's like a revolving door.”

Bait laughed out loud: “Right, because you are swimming in a square! Do I need to remind you that we are in the same container?!”

Bubble had reflected and offered resolutely: “I can't change the shape of this container.  But I can change how I live in it.  I am not going to swim seeking a mirage. I have the courage to pause and observe my surroundings. I notice, I have much to appreciate in my container. In this moment of gratitude, I notice it's a large container with clean water, toys to play with, I have you, we have little Max who feeds us regularly and showers us with his unconditional love. I am not afraid to accept the uncertainty of not knowing what will happen to me.  I accept that certain things are not in my control.

You have offered me a wonderful illusion of a better life, and every day I chose to follow you because there was a part of me that also wanted to believe that there is something better out there. Perhaps your discontentment and search for something bigger and better is the source of your anxiety. 

Every day, I have chosen to share your fears,  absorb your restlessness and dissatisfaction with life. Now, I realise your path is not my path.

Everyday I have willingly or unwillingly lost a day living a life of joy in service of an illusion. 

Everyday, I have taken the Bait. 

I make today “the day” to take the lead of my own life.”

Personal:

• What have you already created that you like and enjoy in your personal bubble? 
• Where might you be “swimming in circles” in search of a mirage?
• Taking absolute responsibility for your own choices, and accepting that not choosing is a choice, what single choice has the potential to impact your life? 
•  What would change for you if, despite your endeavors and critical thinking to control a situation, you were faced with the certainty of uncertainty?

Parenting

• How can we transition from being the leader in our child's life to being a trusted parent?

Organization

• What promotes courageous and authentic leadership in your Organisation? What is your role in generating these qualities?
• As Organisations evolve, how might we motivate employees without “baiting” them with quick fixes and unrealistic promises?

“The Primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it” - Eckhart Tolle

#Coaching #lifecoaching #rumination #reflective #stories #parenting #courage #Leadership Coaching