Does the 'shoe' still fit?

Taking your labels and turning them into values.

Something I’ve been contemplating recently, is the role of the labels we give ourselves (or others give us). I do go down some rabbit holes. I do a lot of walking, which gives me possibly too much time to think…

So, as I discovered, I’m not Cinderella. There isn’t a perfect shoe for me. Sure, there might be a pair that seems great (sparkly and silver), but metaphorically speaking, is there a time that we need to let the shoe go? Or does there come a time when the shoe needs to change, or throw it out altogether?

Is there a time that the label overtakes who you really are?

The reason I ask is that I’ve come up against my own labels. I’m a (working) mum. I’m a widow. I'm a solo parent. I’ve been a yoga teacher.  I'm an entrepreneur. These will never change. I’ve also been labelled as a ‘pocket-rocket’, ‘sassy’ (a nicer way of saying “gee she has some attitude”) and a ‘get-shit-done’ gal.

But none of these define who I am. Singularly at least. I’m the sum part of all of them. I’m not even sure some of these are true. But I’ve certainly got stuck with them at one stage or another.

So I’ve questioned myself, have I made an excuse to someone about my actions because of the label? Have I acted a certain way because of the label? Have I avoided a conversation because it ‘wouldn’t be right for that label’? Or have I allowed a particular label to define who I am?

Do I want these to be my labels? Or shoes. Whatever. Even I’m confused now.

Here are a few examples that I’ve heard in practice. All true. Some are said with humour, so don’t judge me, they have all been said.

A friend: “Oh…that’s just my ADHD brain.”

A work colleague: “She’s a mum so will always need to prioritise her kids.”

Another work colleague: “You’ll have to forgive my OCD.”

A friend: “I’d like to go to ('x' country), but if something bad happened there, it would go against my personal brand.”

A boss: “Give them that project, they never say no. People pleaser.”

A friend (said about her): “You’re really ambitious. We could give you that role on top of what you’re doing” – ahem it didn’t come with a pay rise.

So my question is, do your labels serve you? It’s a worthwhile exercise reflecting on your labels and sorting what role each plays.

Even better, it’s worth sitting down and reflecting on your values.

I ask myself, what do I want to be remembered for? What is it that I want every action or part of my life to ladder up to? Is it these labels, or is it what I actually stand for?

What are my values?

I’ve recently reflected on them and made some changes. In 2024 my values are:

Curiosity.

See the world with wonder. Ask questions. Take the leap. Be strong. Say yes. Trust I am doing the right thing. Have brave conversations and back myself, both in business and personally.  Follow the trail and see where it leads without expectation.

Kindness.

Be kind to myself, and to others. Always, no matter what, treat someone like I would want to be treated. Try not to jump to conclusions or judgements. I wear a charm on my wrist every day to remind me (and some days I really need that reminder).

Authenticity.

Be myself. Half the time I don’t know what that is TBH. There have been so many changes in my life in the last few years. But I’m working on it. Vulnerability, strength, failures. I’m not perfect. That’s OK. I just want to be me, even if I'm still finding her.

Find The Joy.

Always, always look for the positive. For the lightness. Make the choice to find the joy. Because it is a choice.

These values don’t take away from any of the ‘labels’ I have, as I carry them into all facets of my life. BUT, I can play all roles better if I hold on to my values.

Lisa x