My Shining Star and my Greatest Achievement

I don't think I ever told my daughter that my dream as a young girl was to become a Lawyer. Can you imagine the pride I felt as she graduated with Double Degrees - Bachelor of Laws and Bachelor of Commerce? Pride in her amazing achievements and pride that it was a path of her own choosing.

I grew up being told repeatedly that I would never be good enough, never make anything of myself, never make a good decision and never amount to anything. Despite this, I loved my mother with all my heart and I told myself "She knows not what she does" and it was a chain passed from her life with a cruel father to mine. But I was determined to break the chain.

As a single mother to my daughter from a very young age (7 months), I decided that there would be a ritual every day of her life and that ritual would be to hold her in my arms and dance around the room with her every night when I got home from work, no matter how exhausted I may have been. Nothing energised me more than the look of delight in her eyes at this ritual.

It was also a Not Negotiable to tell her every day how much I loved her and to instill in her that she was beautiful inside and out and that she could be anything she wanted to be in life. And when the inevitable challenges came at school, and the disappointments she felt, to double down on those rituals and remind her how very proud I was and always would be, no matter what path she chose.

Now I don't think that there is any doubt that as an only child she was spoilt and always knew what she wanted and how to get it from her Mum. At times I berated myself for this and thought I had done her a disservice but, as I look back all these years later, perhaps this also taught her to never give up on what she wanted. Because she never did trust me! ha ha

Pre school, primary school and high school she always challenged the status quo. And I always felt guilty that I had to work such long hours to provide for her but perhaps this also taught her independence and resilience. Because she has those qualities in spades.

As with a lot of divorced couples, there were turbulent times and when we moved to regional Victoria for about 13 years she did not get to see her father very often. But she always knew I never stopped loving him and that she was born from a deep love and I hope that taught her the importance of love, forgiveness and compassion.

I remember the day I waved her goodbye as she moved back to the city as a young 17yo on her new life adventure. How empty the house felt! And my heart didn't quite beat the same. But I was so proud of her for taking the risk and determined to pave her own way in life. Her father came back into the picture and has been the most amazing support for her and my gratitude knows no bounds. More lessons in resilience, determination, the value of taking risks and trying new things.

They say that when you die, it will not matter how big your house was, how much money you have in the bank, what your Title at work was; all that will matter is how much you loved, how much you cared and how you treated others. I know, for me, I feel this is most likely the truth for all I care about is how happy my girl is and that she has had to date, and will have in the future, a great life.

My girl has carved herself a great path. She has a loving home with wonderful partner in life for which I am exceptionally grateful. She has the most beautiful friends, truly beautiful from their souls. She has a close and loving relationship with her mother and her father. And she has graduated from University with a bright and amazing future in front of her.

Despite all the challenges of studying and working, pivoting to complete her studies remotely during Covid, she did it!! And I am one proud Mum!!

There is no greater achievement in my life than my daughter. Unashamedly, I declare my pride and my love for this amazing young woman!

May your life be every bit as amazing as you are Bianca! ♥

(c) Dianne Traynor 23 May 2022