MY UNPLEASANT CHILDHOOD MEMORIES!

Childhood memories that still hurt me sometimes.

Childhood supposed to be the golden days of once life, but this wasn’t the case of mine.

Throughout my life I come across people who loves to share their unforgettable childhood memories, and always it used to be the pleasant memories and people want to relive the moment once again. But if somebody asked me about my childhood days, I used to coverup with some cooked stories, but at the same time I undergo a deep pain. 

My childhood days was filled with sorrows miseries and unpleasant experiences. My father was the only child to my granny and she passed away when my father was hardly 4 years old, then my grandfather got the 2nd marriage and he got 5 children from her, hence my father became the step child to my granny and his siblings. On the other hand, my mother has only one sister that too greedy (my aunt). Since my childhood I just observe her fighting for properties and stuff like that. As we were 6 brothers and sisters, I didn’t get any individual attention from my parents nor I had any good relatives as we were step grandchildren, we all siblings were treated indifferently by our relatives. The only person on this earth who gave us true love was my maternal grandfather. Our financial status was also not so very strong as my father was alone bread winner and rest 7 dependent members on his single income. 

As my father had to bear 6 kids school expenses and he could not afford private school fees so we had to go to a regional medium school, and even there were no tuition.

As a child I used to observe my other class mates who used to enjoy all luxuries of life. Their parents used to pickup & drop them, whereas me & my siblings used to commute through bus, and many a times we didn’t get bus and we had to walk on foot. 

On every summer vacation all my class mates used to go to their grannies & relatives house & had a whale of time but in my case, I had no place to spent my summer vacation except my own house. After the school reopen when all shared their summer experience, I also used to share some cooked stories & you know my stories used to be the most likable stories. Everyone admired my stories but I know the reality of those stories, which in turn hurt me internally.

The only word that I heard from my mother throughout my life was, when you grow up & get marry then you can fulfill all your dreams, whatever you wish you can do, where ever you want you can go, you can have your life to the fullest & have a life of your own. 

Finally, I got married into a joint family, where I had to follow all the family norms. I had to eat, sleep, think everything I do I had to do as per the family expectation.

Quite a long time I had depression & I used to ask questions to God.

Why God, why have you created me? what is the purpose of my life? I am just surviving there is no life of my own. Where as my surrounding people are enjoying their life to the fullest, why its only me suffering?

Once fine day when I was in the same thought process, asking God the same question in my mind, I bumped into Muniba Mazari video,

The small piece of video answered all my queries. In that video she just spoke about the perception, how we see the world changes our life. If you see people who are more fortunate & blessed around you, then you will end up in grief sorrows & miseries. Instead, if you pay more attention to people who are destitute, less blessed or less fortunate than you will end up in gratitude for whatever you are blessed with. 

At that point of time I realized, I waisted, so many years of my life in complaining what I am deprived of, but I forgot to thank what I am blessed with. Then I started counting the blessing of God upon me.

1.   I was blessed with loving and caring parents.

2.   I was blessed with helpful siblings.

3.   I was blessed with loving grandfather.

4.   I was blessed with food & shelter.

5.   I was blessed with education & knowledge

6.   I was blessed with kind cooperative husband.

7.   I was blessed with 3 adorable kids.

8.   I was blessed with supportive in-laws.

9.   I was blessed with friends.

10.                 I was blessed with good health.

My blessings were innumerous but I was unaware of all those, and I wasted my time in creeping, crying, complaining what I didn’t have.

Although I have endured a lot of sufferings & pain but I realized it now that pain is beautiful because it has challenged me, transformed me & helped me find the deeper purpose of life.

The only message to people is that you are the Heroes of your life story & hero’s never give-up.

Always be optimistic, be positive because positive thinking & positive words have the power of changing our life.

So, my dear friends, if my story resonate with you or helped you in any which ways then do comment & let me know. I love to read your comments. 😊