Names Matter: The Simple Habit to Boost Your Influence At Work

Hello friends!

The simplest habit you can adopt to immediately raise your “building rapport” score is acknowledging someone by saying their name in group meetings.

Those who do this regularly know the big impact it has on their reach, influence, and impact. Of course, when overused, it can backfire, and you may be perceived as inauthentic. Calling on someone by their name in a group setting can encourage participation and engagement. It makes individuals feel more included and integral to the conversation. Multiple studies have shown that small gestures of acknowledgment, such as saying someone's name, can make people feel more connected and less socially isolated. This is particularly useful for leaders and facilitators who want to ensure active involvement from all participants.

When I first moved to America in the late eighties, a friendly nod from a stranger across the street helped me feel seen. And on the opposite end, I have also experienced the pain of “feeling invisible” at times in the very places I worked. Most of us have experienced that to varying extents. Last year, I had a coaching client share a story of a senior leader, in her direct skip-level hierarchy, sharing an elevator ride without a nod of acknowledgment. That left a scar.

It's well-known that when people feel seen, their mood is immediately lifted, and they pass it on. It’s contagious. That feeling of social connectedness can do wonders for employee engagement and personal well-being. 

Our name is a core part of who we are. Hearing our name triggers a unique response in our brain, making us feel recognized and valued. “Names are the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” – Dale Carnegie

A Personal Story

I’ll never forget an Executive Vice President very early in my career (more than 25 years ago) who understood the importance of names. One incident comes to mind: I had just returned after a long break in India and almost immediately ran into this senior leader. He addressed me by my name and asked about my trip. I was floored that he would remember someone like me, a junior-level employee in a large organization, and know that I was away on a trip. I felt seen, respected, and validated. The fact that I am still talking about it is a testament to the impact of a small, kind gesture.

I’d like to add a little-known nuance to the above frame. Did you know that "some" of your coworkers are feeling more disrespected than others? Think about those you work with on large transformational projects. Are there coworkers in other partnering teams with uncommon names? It may surprise you that their names are rarely uttered in meetings, and pronouns are used in their place. I experienced that multiple times in large project meetings where my unfamiliar name would be politely replaced by “She” because some participants were afraid to mispronounce my name. I acknowledge that most people are kind and generous and want to pronounce names just right. Pronouncing names correctly is encouraged; however, our well-intentioned reasoning can take it to an extreme where we choose to avoid saying the name altogether. Avoiding saying someone’s name is even more detrimental to the other party's psyche because it completely ignores their presence and contribution. I share that in my short-form YouTube video here. Hope you'll watch it.

If I had to pick between, avoiding saying a name or risking mispronouncing it, I would risk saying the name incorrectly. The lack of acknowledgment and recognition diminishes the other party’s profile and their potential for career growth. The simple solution when you haven’t had time to prepare is just to say their name, even if you might mispronounce it! Asking, "Did I get your name right?" after you say it will show that you care.

A Win-Win for Everyone

Acknowledging workplace partners by saying their name is a Win-Win strategy for all. For you, it helps build connections, increases your influence, and enhances your reach. For your coworkers, it makes them feel seen, respected and validated. Embrace this simple habit and watch how it positively impacts both your professional journey and the morale of those around you.

Please don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe if you find value in this "Vision to Victory" newsletter and the YouTube video. And share it with anyone who could benefit. It means a lot to me.

Remember, Names matter – say them to be kind and to boost your influence at work.

Warm regards,

Vidya Raman, Motivational Speaker, Coach, Author, and ex-Corporate Leader

VidyaRaman.com