NHL Rookie - Awareness - Change

The proverbial professional sports dream came true for me. From the shores of the Ottawa River, in Crystal Bay Ontario, I was drafted into the National Hockey League. Dale Hawerchuk (RIP) was drafted first overall. Then they called my name. “The Los Angeles Kings select first-round, second pick overall, from the Ottawa 67’s, Doug Smith.” 3rd pick, Bobby Carpenter, and then 4pick, Ron Francis. All are just 18 years of age. This is the first year of the 18-year-old draft.

Today, it seems the further I get from my old mindset, the less I am able to remember how I felt that day. I guess everyone knew the draft was going to go the way it did, but I still did not see myself as anyone different or special. I just saw myself as someone who was having fun and was just a part of the team. I knew I loved to play sports but I was so young and so naïve that the significance of the moment did not really sink in. I guess I just thought this was the way it was supposed to be. Didn’t everyone have it like this? I had not known anything but going from game to game and doing the best I could. There was never an excuse for not giving my best every single game and I knew that when I had not given my best I would have my dad to answer to.

Now suddenly take away the daily support and reassurance my parents provided, move the 18-year-old teenager from Ottawa to the bright lights of Hollywood, and then factor in a race-horse mentality and an ADHD personality; it was a dangerous combination. I was never a tactician and I played with reckless abandon. It was not just hockey that brought out the recklessness in me, it was anything I did. I attacked the California coast and its many playgrounds while sometimes facing life-and-death decisions. I am a very lucky man. Then there were the Beverly Hills and Hollywood scenes with the incredible social circles. It was a potentially explosive situation!

Training Camp - NHL - 1981

That year, the Los Angeles Kings held their training camp in Victoria, British Columbia; it was like another dream come true. Victoria is like a warm, sunny, smaller version of Ottawa, right down to the government building, which resembles a smaller Parliament Hill.

I was in awesome shape coming into camp. Unfortunately, the requirement at the time was actually to not be in awesome shape. The average shape seemed to be OK with the organization and for some, being 25 pounds overweight was fine and would sort itself out over the three weeks of exercise. I remember being confused because there was this pressure to not push it too hard so no one would look too out of shape.

This attitude was fostered by a small group of people, as it usually is, and everyone else seemed to follow along. I remember being told to slow it down during the skating drills. To me, at the time, this meant I was going to speed things up. For an 18-year-old, this was not how to win friends and influence people. This was the first glaring example of how my lack of awareness hurt my career in Los Angeles. I had an idea of how I wanted things to be and it was rare for me to back down from anyone who I did not think was in it to win. My heart was in the right place but my head did not understand the politics. There was no one there to protect me and teach me the rules both inside and outside the game.

The "healthy structure" to teach players about more than just playing hockey and fighting for their life, exists today. Today, each NHL player is surrounded by 4-6 professional supporters for their daily basic needs, their clarity of thought and to protect them from cumulative emotional trauma which is ever-present.

In 1981, other than practices and games, there was no supervision, no education, and no support whatsoever. Looking back now I am amazed that I survived both emotionally and physically.

Cultivating Awareness - Course Lesson

I perceived that something was not quite right with my life in Los Angeles, but I still did not have the awareness to understand what it was. It was easy to blame others and difficult to take personal responsibility for my circumstances. I was young and at times acted immaturely. While my life may have been more dramatic than many others, we all go through this type of learning experience.

Feedback is lubricant for awareness so please share freely.

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