Nine lessons from my 40th year.

Shortly before turning 40, I bought into a company and started Aniwaya. Shortly after turning 40, my husband and I decided to pull our kids from school, have him quit work to help me run Aniwaya and homeschool, and travel around the country in a caravan. We went from a FIFO marriage with kids in school to our entire family living in a 20ft box 24/7, homeschooling and trying to get one company running from start up and another company as a fixer upper. So did I know that 2022 was going to be a tough year? Oh, yeah, honestly, I figured it would either break our entire family or make it and likewise with my marriage, business partnership and companies.

I can honestly say that this year has been the most emotional, stressful and challenging year of my life on every level, emotionally, mentally, physically, financially. There were several times I wanted to pack it all in, pack in the business, give up homeschooling, have a ‘simple’ job, etc.

It has also been the most amazing year and I have better relationships with my husband, my boys, my parents and my business partner because of it, because of the challenges, because of the stress. I am better for it all.

So here it is, my takeaways from my 41st year!

1. Good things don’t come easy, the best things come hard.

Whether it’s a relationship, a business, a happy, healthy life, or catching your first barra, it all comes from hard work, when you put more in, you get more out. When you face challenges with a friend, a partner, a husband, wife, child, if it means something to you, work at it, if you are both genuinely working at it, it will get better.

2. The right way for you, your business and your family may not look traditional and that’s ok.

When I describe my life to most people, I get one of two responses;

-        They look at me with raised eyebrows and often ask, “And that works for you, like with this business? And the kids education?” Like I just told them that I have a pet alien growing out of ear. “

-        They smile and say, that’s awesome.

Everyone’s life looks different, as long as they are happy, healthy and enjoying their life, accept that.

3 & 4. Australia is beautiful, more beautiful and diverse than most people would know. That beauty needs to be preserved for future generations.

Living in a caravan, often times off grid and sharing space with remote communities and some of the most remote areas across WA, NT and Qld, I am in awe of the beauty that this country offers. The beaches, rainforests, waterfalls, swimming holes are beyond compare and I am so blessed to have been able to share them with my family and my children. We have become so aware of how we use our resources this year, water, power, gas. We also know that it doesn’t take much to ruin a beach, there are beaches where they were washed with trash, specifically, plastics. When I walk along the beach now, I carry doggie bags to pick up a few pieces of plastic. We need to do simple things like this more and teach our kids to do it.

5. We don’t talk enough about the challenges that face our remote communities.

On several occasions we had to travel up to two hours to access banking so I could run payroll, internet, access to basic services, medical, fresh foods, etc. We managed, but we are very fortunate and so many opportunities are lost to remote communities because of a lack of access to these basic services. If every Australian had regular and reliable access to a computer and stable internet, they can access better medical, better education, better employment opportunities. We now have Starlink and this has been a game changer, but we need to make this available for all Australians in remote communities. We have beautiful, talented, smart individuals in our remote communities and if we need to grow our workforce, this is where we should be focusing.

6 & 7. Work and spend time with people who believe things you don’t believe. Treat everyone as human first and you’ll be fine. You are enough.

The last few years have been polarising and the us/them has become so much worse. Travel and exposure to people who’s lives, backgrounds, cultures, age, political views, race are different than yours, it makes you better, it builds tolerance. We don’t need less speech and more censorship, we need more speech and more connection to each other. I am so fortunate that this year Aniwaya has started to forge partnerships with diverse organisations, we work with RTOs and organisations who specialise in building Indigenous programs in remote communities that achieve real completion and employment outcomes, we work with staff and contractors around the world, whether its my family, my friends or my collagues, every size, colour, age, gender, political belief, our problems are very similar. “I don’t feel like I am enough… I don’t feel like I do enough, I don’t feel like I am good enough for my partner, my kids, etc… I am not enough.” We all feel it, some of us feel it occasionally and can talk it away, others feel it deeply every day, we all feel it. It’s what unites us as humans.

So if you have gotten to this part, let me tell you. There is no perfect human, our imperfection is what helps us find the people we need in our lives.

8. If you open yourself to it, life will find a way of fixing your imperfections with people.

I suck at finance… my mum helps me manage my books.

I suck at taking care of myself… my mum, dad and husband help me realise this when I refuse to listen to myself.

I suck at driving, seeing the detail in stuff outside of work and stopping working… my husband manages all of these details.

I suck at sales and I often go straight to the ‘solution’ without thinking how others will feel about the solution… my business partner is very good at both of these things and forcing me to consider them.

I suck at formatting and seeing the details, I like the design, the creation… my 2IC is amazing at this.

I suck at being able to stop and appreciate the moment… my kids force me to do this.

All of my imperfections, are balanced out by the people in my life. If I was perfect, perhaps I wouldn’t need them, but then, what kind of life would that be. So maybe, we are imperfect so that we all have reasons to be together.

9. There is nothing better for you, every aspect of you, than to disconnect from devices and reconnect with nature.

Hiking a valley, swimming in a remote swimhole, walking along a beach with the sand squishing through your toes… I started our trip taking photos all the time and posting about our adventure. Over the last few months I have posted less and been present more. It’s invigorating, it’s settling, it’s necessary.

Digital detox, just be there, work hard, play hard but take just a few moments to stop and be somewhere, somewhere where no one can contact you and just be in nature, float in it, let is fall over you, envelope you. Allow your kids to experience it.

Be attached to nothing and connected with everything. Your soul will thank you. 

Ok, last things... thank you's.

I never would have gotten here without these people.

Mum and Dad, you raised me well, boundaries, love, hard work and support no matter what. I couldn't ask for a better start to life, the biggest priveledge I have is being able to grow up with you two.

Mike, we work hard at our marriage, it's not 'normal' but I love it. I am hard work, I know that. I am wildfire and you are the calm in the centre of the storm. I love you so much and every year I love you more.

Katrina, you've taught me to be able to outswear a sailor and so much more. I never would have gotten through this year without you, your humour, your wit and your sacrifices. I couldn't ask for a better business partner.

Michelle, like Mike is the calm in the storm that is my life, you are the calm that keeps Aniwaya's boat a float! You have given me so much support, taught me so much and I just can't think of a better person to help me build the Aniwaya team. I can't wait to continue to see what we do together next year.

My babies, Mikey and Zach, you are my everything. Everything I do is for you, I cannot think of a better life than one where I get to see you, teach you, experience the wonders of the world with you and let you see all of me, as a Director, as an employer, as a teacher, when I succeed, when I fail, when I am human, because babies life is hard and beautiful and beautiful because it's hard so hiding that from you would be wrong. See all of me, question me, question my actions, learn from me and with me. I love you both so very much.

Carl, Brodie, Bindu, Michelle, Dan thank you. You know why.