A note to self

How many times have you travelled on your own? How many times have you treated yourself with a meal or a drink on your own? There were times in my life many years ago that if you were doing anything on your own it would be considered as if something was wrong with you. 

After surviving a tough health challenge, I asked myself. “Who was next to you that moment in the waiting room wearing that white hospital robe?” No one not even my family because I haven’t told them anything nor did they know until today. All those people who were telling me how to talk, how to walk, how to live my life, not one of them was there when I was suffering.

That was an eye opener for me. From that moment when the doctor told me “Nadia, you have another one chance in life, don’t f%*^ it up” with a big smile on his face. I promised myself that I will dress up every day as if I was living my best day, I would travel and do whatever the hell I wanted to do and I did! Well, that brought too many arguments with my parents and many other people, but I stuck to my promise because I was the only one who I knew how it felt to be alone. 

As Osho said it is powerful to be able to spend time with yourself and enjoy it. That time you can reflect, or you can simply just be you. If you truly love and accept yourself then it would be easier to love and accept others. We blame many times our parents, our partner that they don’t make us happy that they don’t think about us, but do we think about us? You know what creates a disappointment? Expectations! 

People often expect others to think like them. I was having a discussion the other days with my mom about my dad. She said, “he shouldn’t have done that” and I said to her maybe he shouldn’t have but how you will react to it is up to you. By shouting and throwing objects nothing good will come out of it, right? Maybe try to think from his perspective and think of your options (how to react) until she will do all this process she will calm down. 

Don’t expect from your partner to make you happy but make yourself happy. I lost my best friend and from that moment I realized that the only thing kept me going was the thought that she always wanted me to be happy. 

Learn to love yourself and learn that no one else is responsible for your happiness. When you understand this then you will be truly free like Osho said. Freedom makes you happy. No one can take away your dreams but you. Don’t allow to others or to yourself to be slave to other expectations or your own expectations. We are all different human beings with a different childhood. You are responsible for your happiness and you should be accountable for it. 

Love & light

Nadia

First Aid Instructor & a Wellness Coach

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