Positive Relationships, whether at work or in personal life help nurture us and makes us gain maturity and helps us create spaces for meaningful conversations. The PERMA model of Positive Psychology speaks of living a flourishing life if we experience positive emotions, are engaged in whatever we do, have positive relationships and have a meaningful life where every accomplishment is celebrated and counted for. Hence, Relationships are critical for finding our purpose and living a great life.
I am fortunate to have those relationships, both at work and at personal level which aid me to become a better human. Some of them are current and former work colleagues, some are childhood school friends, some of them newly known people and many of them who are related in terms of family. I share my thoughts, my opinions, ideas and ideologies with people depending upon their comfort, their understanding and my own rapport or understanding with those people. Not everyone is perfect, neither am I. While I excel in few areas in my life professionally, perhaps personally I need to invest more time in understanding people better. The challenge in relationships happen when the expectations are higher than needed.
I will share some thoughts on how to develop, maintain and sustain positive relationships and they are as follows;
- Accept your imperfections and of others' as well: This is important as we all are work-in-progress and can really never be perfect. This is important as we all are work-in-progress and can really never be perfect. We can improvise, learn new ways to look at our competencies but then we are on a journey to make ourselves better, continuously.
- Think of positive traits in others: While talking to work colleagues or friends, it is not recommended to point out their flaws. The best bet is to connect on common areas of interest and passions. We sometimes are upfront with our childhood friends, albeit in a positive way. That is still fine.
- Avoid being right: Human nature is such that we generally feel our actions, our behavior is right and others have to modify their response. Ego is very much a part of human existence and experience. Practicing some kind of meditation, like loving kindness or metta can help reduce our ego related thoughts of being right.
- Provide positive feedback, whenever needed: Unless someone is toxic and you need to call that out, addressing people on their character strengths is the best way to develop positive relationships. Start by appreciating what touched you in your earlier interactions.
- Do some self-analysis: Some people write their "flaws" journal and I do it as well. This helps us understand if need some change in our ways of the world. Once we do it, there is a great deal of clarity about the areas where we need some time to invest in.
- Learn from others: There may be people at work who would showcase their best versions while interacting with you. Learning from them helps in making ourselves better. I have met many such people whose qualities inspired me to make amends in how I responded or reacted to situations. As a result, I became better in nurturing positive relationships.
- Apologize whenever you have wronged: Apology makes you a stronger because you win over your ego by realizing that you are not greater than or more knowledgeable than others. This is also a grounding exercise by gaining people's trust back. I have personally felt that pouring my heart out when I have erred makes me feel relieved and content.
There may be many more ways to develop, nurture or sustain positive relationships. These are my experiences which I have shared here and I use these ideas in my executive coaching practice as well. Feedback is highly solicited.
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