The Office Talk: Navigating ADHD and Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD)

In the bustling world of office chatter and bustling meetings, conversations often spark up unexpectedly. It's the norm, right? But for those of us with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), these unplanned interactions can sometimes set off internal fireworks of anxiety and insecurity.

It's not that we don't want to chat or connect; it's just that our brains have a unique way of processing information and sometimes our brains run away with the spark of an idea and before we know it we're down a rabbit hole of emotions and our RSD - Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria - has entered the scene.

When I was working as a PA to the Principal, I would often have to send emails requesting meetings between staff members and the Principal. At the time I was masking my own ADHD (badly, but that's not today's point), so would write the reason for the meeting in the email to the staff member, as I knew the difference it could make.

Normally the meetings were positive things. It may have been a check-in with a new staff member or a member of staff who had a new role. It may have been to see how staff were settling in during the new term, or if there were processes that needed to be changed or maybe it was a new project being given to a member of staff.

Of course, occasionally there were meetings that were bad news and again I would tell the staff member the reason for the meeting so that they knew coming into the office what the meeting was about and didn't feel they were being sideswiped and could be prepared with notes, or something to take notes on!

During the last year or so of working at the school, I was slowly losing grip on the masking I had in place over my ADHD and it was during my first month or two in my new role (where I don't mask) that I felt the gut-punch of being asked to return to a meeting, and just knew I had messed up. They were unhappy with my performance and I was, of course, being fired.

Of course, deep down, I knew that these fears were irrational, but the emotional rollercoaster had already left the station, and I was on the ride whether I liked it or not.

So, what can we do to make this better for everyone involved? Well, here are my four top tips that would make things better for anyone, whether they have ADHD and RSD or not!

Context is King

Instead of a cryptic "Can we chat later?" message, add a bit of context.

Something like, "Can we have some time to talk over the social media plan you've drawn up?" This simple addition helps our ADHD brains prepare and reduces anxiety. We can gear up for the topic, ensuring a more productive conversation.

Reassurance Goes a Long Way

Offer reassurance that the conversation isn't a one-way street, or something negative (unless it is of course!).

Say something like, "I want to make sure I understand, and have access to all the resources you've created and done such a great job on." Knowing that our input is valued and that it's a collaborative effort can ease our worries.

Advance Answers, Anyone?

Ever heard the phrase, "It's on the tip of my tongue"? Well, that's our daily struggle.

If you're going to discuss something specific, give us a heads-up. Send a quick note with some initial questions or points to ponder. This allows our brains - which sometimes resemble chaotic pinball machines - to start processing so that we can contribute meaningfully.

Prepare and Process

Lastly, understand that we might need some time to process the information you've shared.

Suggest, "We can have a quick chat today, so you can understand what it is that I need, and then we can meet again tomorrow once you've had a chance to pull everything together?" This lets us digest the conversation, ask questions, and provide considered input.

The bottom line is this: ADHD and RSD are part of who we are, but they don't define us. With a little understanding, a pinch of context, and a sprinkle of reassurance, we can all work together more effectively, fostering a workplace that appreciates the diverse ways our minds operate.

So, let's chat, collaborate, and conquer the challenges of the modern office, one empathetic conversation at a time.

#ADHD #WorkplaceTalks #EmbraceDifferences