Our Christmas Message

Faith, Family & Friendship: During Christmas, we share with you our life experiences.        

(Some family names were changed to protect the deceased innocent and guilty.)

Faith is First. St. James had little time for ambiguity or excuses.  There was an urgency, a zeal, to his words, which flow directly from his witness to a world-changing event, the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. His message was simple:  The “before” and the “after” of Christ’s mission are radically distinct realities. His message is in Gospel verses 2:14-2:17:    

“Be doers of the word and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.”      

Lesson-1: Good works cannot “earn” salvation. Salvation from the Lord is free, unearned gift of God’s mercy and love. If we claim to believe, then actions will follow. Else, we are living deceitful lives.  

Families. We all grew up in Brooklyn, NY as Traditional Christians. My father William remarried. Lucy was from Scotland, and he was German American. She had three children—Liz, Whizzy and Buster. Father had four kids—Marg, Lora, Bill and me. It was World War II, the 1940s.

We want parents to be happy in their new relationship. Yet children feel loyalty to past real parents. (They find it more difficult than adults to deal with the past.) We were incompatible in terms of age, attitudes, and outlook. We attended Traditional Christian schools. My cousin Mariana taught art at St. John’s Catholic school. She took an interest in my budding artistic talent. After school, she told me stories about my cousin, Father Fred Gehring Mission in China. Her bonding motivated my interest in Catholicism, which was crucial for my future. 

By the 2010 most of our family was deceased, except Brother Bill and me. Now we could candidly discuss earlier challenges of our lives. I was the youngest in this “blended family,” and perhaps less affected than my siblings were. They attempted to baby me as the kid who had polio and never knew his mother. However, adversity for me created greater confidence and self-reliance. (If a child is coddled too much or spoiled, they may never grow up.)

Dad had to be strict since he was the head of a family of ten, after grandfather came to live with us. We were a poor family, living in a three-story brownstone in Brooklyn, NY, with one wage earner. As the family developed, each of us had daily chores and after school part-time jobs to help the family survive financially.

One day we decided to have ice-cream sodas before coming home with our wages from running errands on Broadway. Dad asked, “Are these your only merger earnings today?”             

“We spent just a little for ice-cream sodas at the drugstore, Buster meekly replied.”                      

Dad was angry. “That was not your money,” he said. “Your earnings help support this family. I’ll determine what you can spend,” he shouted.

Lesson-2: We never forgot that important principle; we should always support the family while we live under our parent’s roof. It's an obligation!

Friends-Lovers. At eighteen, Lora said she was an “adult” and decided that her family with its challenges was too much for her to handle. Her new paramour was an arrogant, illiterate, army brat, Allan, who was also Jewish. Lora sought greater security for her future. If you ever watched “All in the Family,” on TV, my father could substitute for the main character. Dad promptly ushered them out of his home.

My father had numerous challenges and soon became an alcoholic. Lucy, and dad often argued over family issues while boozing together. He smoked three packs daily and eventually suffered with lung cancer. Billy, Buster and Bobby, known as, "The Three Bs," joined the military at a young age. The service prepared us for life's challenges. At 44 my father died. (I was stationed in Greenland with the USAF at that time, and didn't get home for his funeral.)

Lora eloped with Allan, Liz married Bud, and Lucy move in with her daughter, after father died. Marg was also “delicate,” and married a strong Marine. Marg suffered from MS, and died, leaving four children. Her daughter took responsibility for two brothers, a sister and her older father. Liz eventually divorced Bud due to her mother’s ceaseless meddling. (Never let your mother-in law move in, if you can prevent it, she will create problems.) Buster was the strongest in our family but was always in trouble. (He hit a Navy officer who cursed him and received a “bad conduct” discharge.) A later auto accident, not caused by him, took the life of his sister Wheezy, which affected him dreadfully. He died from alcoholism. Lora lasted longer. She converted to the Jewish faith they unfortunately didn't practice. She died by 2010s in NYC.

My biological mother, Helen finally met her “baby son,” Robert, and wife Miriam at hospice, before she passed. That is when I finally met my half-brother, Vince. Helen asked, “Have you found Jesus?” My answer: “We didn’t know He was lost” (not to us anyway). We were 60-years married, with three children. We arranged Mass for Helen’s soul, who obviously failed her parental duties and responsibilities, causing incredible family chaos. My half-brother Vince died, after teaching him how to pray the “Act of Contrition.” Our belief was (still is) that the "Lord is the “Final Judge,” and is merciful and loving.      

Lesson-3: “One does not abandon family because “It’s your life,” and think you are no longer are obligated to your siblings or parents. You must not neglect parents, who with God, gave you the “gift of life,” early tutoring, and years of care. It is a grave error to ignore such love. Parents also remain responsible for their children’s welfare and spiritual growth. They are obligated do whatever is in a child’s “Best Interest.” (Miriam and I wrote a book, “Best Interest of the Children,” that covers sample cases of family disputes.)

Truths. We express truths, which form thoughts, which frames the way we live. The words of the Apostles Creed were crucial for Christianity for 1800 years. That Creed continues to guide our faith in this century. We recite it every Sunday at Mass. Christians argued and fought many battles in order to establish these Doctrinal Truths. Its influence over centuries was immense.

Lesson-4: Words define or distort truth and reality. Words enrich or mislead us. Intentional abuse of language, more frequent in secular life and politics, often violates our essential beliefs and truths. We then gradually lose our convictions by the slow draining away of the power of “truth” in the words we use to express ourselves with others. As an author of books and many articles, this writer knows how much the meaning of words matters.

Individuals, not groups, institutions or states are responsible for action. or inaction. We are “stewards” that must care for our bodies, which is a "gift" from the Creator. "It's not our body to mess with." We are answerable to our families, neighbors, and ourselves before God. Many of us become alienated from our families, but when we are Baptized, we become Disciples of Christ. Then we must live our lives according to His teachings, the Gospels. We always need to ask by devout prayers, for the Lords Special Grace to strengthen our families and us.

Lesson-5: Truth and Natural laws do not change with time, place or culture. Everyone received the “gift of life, soul and freewill.” Thus, we get to choose – and act accordingly.

Higher education actually begins after graduation from the university. Gifted teachers, like Miriam (47-years) and Mariana, influenced my spirituality. This writer learned that no person leaves this mortal life, without experiencing love and suffering. It is how we actually deal with these challenges and opportunities, which gives us, Our True Purpose in Life.

The Lord Working with Sinners, like President Trump, Will Make America Great Again.

Blessed Christmas & New Year, Robert & Miriam Fertig

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