Overcoming Self-Doubt

Self-doubt. It’s something that clings to you, no matter how many battles you’ve fought, how many missions you’ve led, or how many deployments you’ve been through. It doesn’t matter if you’re fresh out of boot camp or a seasoned Marine with years of experience under your belt—self-doubt is always there, lurking in the back of your mind, waiting to make you question your own abilities.

I’ve dealt with it my entire career, but one instance stands out in particular: my deployment to Somalia in 2018. I had just received orders to head out as the Senior Enlisted Leader for a small multinational camp. It was an assignment that involved working alongside forces from the Army, Air Force, Navy, and Marines, both active duty and reserve. This wasn’t just any deployment—it was the kind of opportunity that people dream about. I was an E7 Gunnery Sergeant, and this role could take my career to the next level. To say I was excited would be an understatement. But excitement has a way of fading when doubt starts creeping in.

From the moment I received those orders, self-doubt set up shop in my mind. I couldn’t shake the nagging questions: Was I ready for this? What if I messed up? What experiences was I missing? Could I handle leading this diverse group of forces in such a volatile environment? The questions were relentless, and the more I thought about it, the worse it got.

At first, I tried to push the doubt aside, telling myself it would pass once I got there, but it never really went away. It was always lingering in the background, waiting for the right moment to whisper in my ear. I had been through four combat deployments before this one—places like Iraq and Afghanistan that had hardened me as a leader and as a Marine—but this was different. This was Somalia. This was Mogadishu, a place I had always wanted to deploy to, and now that I was heading there, I wasn’t sure if I was up to the task.

The months leading up to the deployment were some of the hardest, not because of the preparation or the logistics, but because of the constant barrage of self-doubt. I questioned everything: Was I the right person for this job? Could I meet the expectations of my superiors? What if I failed? I kept these thoughts to myself, not wanting to show weakness. After all, I was a Gunnery Sergeant, a leader. Marines looked up to me. How could I admit that I wasn’t sure if I was ready?

It wasn’t until I actually got to Somalia that things started to change. The moment my boots hit the ground, something clicked. Maybe it was the environment, the mission, or the fact that there was no time to second-guess myself. I had a job to do, and the lives of the men and women under my command depended on me being able to do it well. There was no room for hesitation. It was time to step up.

Once I started doing the job, I realized something important—I was good at it. I wasn’t just capable; I was thriving in this role. All the doubt, all the questioning, all the fear of failure—it was unnecessary. I had been through enough deployments, enough challenges, and enough tests in my career to handle this. In fact, it was easier than I had anticipated. I found myself pulling from experiences in my past, using the lessons I had learned in previous deployments to navigate the complexities of this new environment.

One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned in my career is this: when you’re unsure about something, ask someone who’s done it before. It sounds simple, almost too simple, but it’s one of the most effective strategies I’ve ever used. No one expects you to have all the answers all the time, especially in a place as unpredictable and volatile as Somalia. The key is knowing when to seek advice and when to rely on your own instincts.

Whenever I faced a challenge that was outside my wheelhouse, I didn’t hesitate to ask someone who had been there before. Whether it was a senior leader, a peer, or someone from another branch of service, I tapped into the knowledge and experience of those around me. And every time, without fail, they gave me the insight I needed. A few pointers here, a suggestion there, and suddenly, the path forward was clear.

Take, for example, the complexity of working with a multinational force. We had Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps and other nations personnel all operating out of the same camp. Each branch had its own way of doing things, its own procedures, its own culture. At first, I wasn’t sure how to bring everyone together, how to get these different groups to operate as one cohesive unit. The last thing I wanted was for inter-service rivalries or miscommunications to get in the way of the mission.

So, I reached out to someone who had done it before—a senior enlisted Marine SNCO who had led similar joint operations in other parts of the world. He gave me a few key pointers: how to bridge the gap between the different branches, how to foster collaboration, and how to lead without stepping on toes. His advice was invaluable, and it made all the difference.

That’s the thing about self-doubt—it’s natural. It happens to everyone, no matter how experienced you are. But it’s how you deal with that doubt that defines you. I could have let it paralyze me, make me second-guess every decision. I could have let it prevent me from reaching out to those with more experience. But instead, I used it as a tool. I let that doubt remind me that I didn’t have all the answers, and that was okay. Because I knew how to find the answers, and that’s what mattered.

As the deployment went on, I became more confident in my role. The challenges were still there, but they didn’t feel insurmountable anymore. Every time I faced a new obstacle, I reminded myself that I had the tools, the experience, and the team to get through it. I relied on my past experiences, on the people around me, and on the simple but effective strategy of asking for advice when I needed it.

By the end of that deployment, I had not only overcome my self-doubt, but I had become a better leader because of it. I learned that self-doubt isn’t something to be feared—it’s something to be acknowledged and used as fuel for growth. It’s a reminder that you’re pushing yourself into new territory, taking on challenges that will make you stronger. And that’s what leadership is all about: stepping into the unknown, making decisions when the path isn’t clear, and trusting that you have what it takes to succeed.

The deployment in Somalia wasn’t just a test of my ability to lead—it was a test of my ability to handle doubt, to face it head-on and move through it. I didn’t have all the answers, but I knew how to find them. I didn’t always know the right path, but I trusted myself enough to take the first step.

That’s what I want you to take from this chapter. Self-doubt is part of the journey. It’s something that every leader, every Marine, every person will face at some point in their life. But it doesn’t have to hold you back. In fact, it can be one of your greatest strengths, if you learn to manage it. Use it as a tool to push yourself to grow, to seek advice, and to become better than you were before.

Every time you feel that doubt creeping in, remember this: you don’t have to have all the answers right away. You just need to know how to find them. Whether that’s asking someone who’s done it before, pulling from your own experiences, or trusting in your team, you have the tools to succeed. And as long as you’re willing to take the first step, you’ll always find a way through.

Key Takeaway:

Self-doubt is natural, but it doesn’t have to control you. It’s a sign that you’re stepping into new territory and pushing yourself to grow. When doubt arises, remember that you don’t need all the answers—you just need to know how to find them. Ask for advice, rely on your experiences, and trust in your ability to succeed.

Exercise/Prompt:

Think of a time when self-doubt held you back from making a decision or taking action. Write it down. Now, list three ways you could overcome that doubt—whether it’s asking for advice from someone with experience, pulling from your past successes, or simply taking the first step without overthinking. Use this list the next time doubt starts to creep in.