Permission To Face Loss: The Gird Of Life

In the journey of life, facing loss is inevitable. Grief can cause immense discomfort and pain, manifesting in emotional and physical symptoms. However, just as a gird provides support and structure, allowing yourself to grieve and journey through all the stages can help you manage and navigate this challenging experience.

The five stages of grief, as outlined by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, are well-known: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages encapsulate the harder parts of grief, where pain, emotional disability, and depression often take center stage. It’s crucial to allow yourself to experience these stages fully, giving yourself permission to feel and process each emotion.

David Kessler, an expert on grief, introduced a sixth stage: finding meaning. This stage is pivotal as it shifts the focus from the pain of loss to the search for purpose and understanding. Finding meaning helps you contextualize your grief, transforming it into a part of your life’s narrative rather than a debilitating force.

Patricia Freudenberg, a certified end-of-life coach, added a final, transformative stage: living your legacy. This seventh stage is about creating your own legacy while blending it with the legacy of the loved one you’ve lost. By embodying their values and influences, and integrating them into your actions and life choices, you honor their memory and continue their impact. Recognizing their legacy does not mean you are not being true to yourself. As humans, we have mentors, teachers, and traditions that positively impact us. These are the aspects to embrace and carry forward, finding grace and mercy in the continuation of their influence through your life.

The journey through all these stages, from the initial shock and pain to the final acceptance and legacy, is not linear. It’s a continuum, a process that requires patience and self-compassion. By permitting yourself to go through each step, you guard against becoming stuck in any one stage and prevent the downward spiral into prolonged emotional distress.

In essence, giving yourself permission to grieve is an act of self-protection. It allows you to process your emotions, find meaning, and ultimately live a life that honors both your experiences and the legacy of those you’ve lost. This holistic approach ensures that you emerge from grief not just as a survivor but as someone who thrives, carrying forward the light at the end of the tunnel. Read more: