The Pleasant Side of Unpleasant Truths

“The hardest thing to explain is the glaringly evident which everybody has decided not to see.”  - Ayn Rand

"It's boring"

Now let me rewind a little.

Every two months I used to bring my team together for a day of reflection and forward planning - a sort of check in on our direction to iron out the wrinkles. 

During one session I got a distinct feeling that the room was particularly flat. There was little banter and a lot of blank stares happening as I was talking 

A simple question uncovered the unpleasant truth and a series of comforting lies at the same time. 

"Why is everyone so flat?"

No response initially followed by a lack of eye contact and what felt like a strong need to look anywhere but towards me at the front of the room.  

It was time to engage in some awkward silence to uncover what was really going on. 

"It's Boring".................... BOOM an "Unpleasant Truth".

Where did that come from?

The most recent addition to my team and indeed the organisation (via the Graduate Program) had the courage to tell the unpleasant truth. Hit me right between the eyes with it. 

"Tell me more" I said. 

Whilst I do not remember the word for word response something along the lines of it being a level of "sameness" and a "talkfest" with little outcome - now we are getting somewhere. 

My next question was directed to the rest of the group. The more seasoned campaigners who had been engaging in the practice of comforting lies for the past few meetings and I would suggest for most of their careers. A way of staying safe and flying under the radar if you like. 

"So what do the rest of you think?"

Sheepish eye contact, muffled responses and head nodding followed that supported the comments from the new team member. 

"When did you start to think this?" was my next question. 

"A couple of meetings ago" was again the sheepish response. 

"So - Why didn't you say something?"

More looking away followed by some rehearsed excuses that made no sense whatsoever. 

You see the group was in the grips of the phenomenon of "Comforting Lies".

Keep the Manager happy by nodding your head, say it was a great session, that we moved forward as a group, we achieved the goals and are looking forward to the next meeting. 

Keep an eye out for the signs of comforting lies as they serve no purpose in making progress as an individual or in a team or organisational environment.

Instead embrace the pleasant side of the unpleasant truths in order to make real progress by having the dialogue that really matters. 

Thank you Robyn Lambropoulos for having the courage to tell the unpleasant truth and helping the group make real progress.   

Which way do you lean - Comforting Lies or Unpleasant Truths?