The Power of Choice

It was a chilly December afternoon, and my son, NJ, had just come home from school. He was in the first grade, and like any parent, I told him to go do his homework. But to my surprise, he looked at me and said, "Daddy, I don’t feel like doing homework." At that moment, I recognized a valuable opportunity to teach him about the power of choice. I could have simply insisted, “NJ, do your homework,” but I knew there was a deeper lesson to be learned, so I decided to teach instead.

I told him to put on his jacket and come outside with me. Excited, he thought he had gotten out of his homework for the day. Once we were outside, I gave him a new task: to move the firewood from one area and restack it in another. He eagerly started working, thinking it was a fun alternative.

But a few minutes later, NJ said, "Daddy, I’m cold, and I want to go inside."

Here was my teaching moment.

I told him, "NJ, in life, there are two types of men:

1. Those who work hard, and
2. Those who work smart. If you choose not to do your homework, then you’ll need to be strong because working hard takes strength. Now, let’s keep moving the wood."

After moving a few more pieces, NJ paused, looked up, and said, "Daddy, can I please go inside and do my homework? Smart men stay warm."

NJ has since graduated from Howard University with a bachelor’s in business management and is now working on his Master of Science. To this day, I’ve never had to remind him to do his homework again or question his commitment to education. That day, I granted him the power of choice.

The Power of Choice

The single most powerful word in the English language is choice. It is the one thing in this world that you have complete control over. We can’t always control what happens to us, when it happens, or how it happens. But we always have the power to choose how we respond.

It’s empowering to realize that it’s not the circumstances around us that determine our lives, but rather the choices we make in response to them.

Think about a choice you made at some point in your life. Now that you’ve lived with the results, ask yourself: if you had made a different choice, how might your life have turned out differently? Would things be better or worse?

Too often, we complain about what happens to us instead of taking action. Complaining is easy—it requires no effort, no thought, and no action. But is it addressing the situation? Addressing requires courage and action. It’s important to recognize that the choices you make shape your life or, in my case, the man I develop.

If you're unhappy with your health, career, or relationships, you have the power to change them. You don't like your job? Then do something about it. If you’re tired of feeling stuck, make a new choice.

Author and mentor Zero Dean once said, “If you have the power to change something that is holding you back and you don’t, that is a choice, not a limitation.”

Remember, if there’s anything in your life you don’t like, you have the power to change it. When you change your perspective, you can change your outcome.

The Power of Seeking Approval

Many of us are challenged by the choices we make because we seek approval from others. But whenever you seek approval, you give away your power. You place more value on their opinion than on your ability to make a good choice.

Have you ever had a good idea, only to doubt yourself after listening to someone else’s opinion? We’ve all been there. And often, we later find ourselves saying, “I should have trusted myself.”

It’s your life, and you must live with the choices you make. Understand that poor choices can hinder your growth, while good choices lead to productivity, positivity, and value.

Before you make a choice, there are a few things to consider:

1. Instinct – We have three internal communicative devices: The heart involves emotions. While emotions can play a role in decision-making, they can sometimes cloud our judgment. The brain can cause overthinking, and overthinking can lead to missed opportunities. The gut is the connection between perception and reality. It’s that inner voice, the one God gives us, that tells us what feels right.
2. Educate Yourself – John Maxwell’s "21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership" highlights that your awareness and ability determine your effectiveness. If you want to make good choices, educate yourself on the topic and explore alternatives.
3. Values – When faced with a decision, make choices that align with your core values. It’s your life, so if you make a choice that conflicts with what matters to you, you’ll only amplify the negativity.
4. Perspective – Take the time to examine the situation from every possible angle. Align your instincts, the information you’ve gathered, and your values before making a decision.
5. Own It – It’s your life, your decision, and your choice. Trust yourself. Grace Jones once said, “Everyone has to make their own decisions. You have to be able to accept the consequences without complaining.”

Making Intentional Choices

If you want to change your life, your relationships, or your career, you must make intentional choices. You must be dedicated and conscious in your decision-making if your goal is to improve your circumstances.

The Law of Attraction teaches us that what we focus on expands. If you focus on the negative, you’ll keep making choices that lead to more negativity. But if you focus on positive results, you’ll start making choices that bring more positivity into your life.

For example, if your goal is to become debt-free, focusing on the debt itself won’t help. Instead, focus on financial independence. By doing so, you’ll naturally address your debt, because financial independence requires being free from debt.

The Right Choice

Your power of choice will always lead you to an answer, but the key question is: is it the right answer?

The answer will always be yes if you listen to your instincts, educate yourself, align with your values, and take responsibility for your decisions.

You hold the power to shape your life, one choice at a time.