The Power of Linkedin: My Journey to my 1st International Speaking Engagement.

My story begins on August 13th 2018, I posted a video of my son who was three years old at the time on Linkedin, dancing to Bruno Mars, in the caption of the video, I explained to the LInkedin audience that I was celebrating my son Jaedan by posting the video. You see my son at six months old had kidney surgery and for the next two to three years, he was in and out of the hospital due to several complications. In the video, my son stated he wanted to dance because I told him, he no longer had to get needles or be poked by nurses or doctors. 

I also explained in the caption, that I was celebrating not only my son’s medical achievement, but also that while caring for my sick medically compromised child, I was a military spouse; who suffered from the loss of a still born daughter; who suffered with depression, anxiety, post-partum depression, difficult military marriage and was a full-time mental health provider. 

After receiving supportive and heartfelt messages from several individuals on Linkedin regarding my son and giving me well wishes. I received a direct message from a program manager for the Annual Congress: Child Care Mental Health, Psychology and Nursing. She stated that she loved the video and asked if I would be interested in telling my son’s story at the Conference in Toronto, Canada.

I initially was scared to death because ...all the negative thoughts started to come into my head right after I agreed to speak...

Shara who is going to listen to you? You have never done a speaking engagement....I had never spoken in a public setting or spoken out of the country period.  I was a NOBODY. I started thinking of all the excuses I could think of to back out of the event. All because I thought, my story was not worth hearing....SERIOUSLY this is what I thought. 

I took a deep breath and decided to put my big girl panties on....I thought to my myself...giving myself a pep talk...Shara you haven’t come all this way on Linkedin with sharing pieces of who you are and building your career and professional relationships for nothing. The world needs to hear what you have to say.....you deserve to be heard...someone out there needs to hear you are not alone. 

I decided to reach out to Linkedin Profinder  in September 2018 for a speaking coach because this speech was a big deal...I wanted it to be ...well polished...I wanted the speech to be kind of my own ‘COMING OUT’ party for who I was professionally and what I was passionate about especially for the military community. I wanted to find a way to interweave in my military story with my son’s medical journey, because it was a story. I wanted the audiences to truly understand what my struggles were, while putting on a face ...that was not my own. Pretending to be strong...when I felt like hiding away...burying my pain and not processing my own feelings, struggling with mental health, dealing with various stressors. I finally landed a speaking coach and it was not cheap, I initially worked out a pricing package for $2000.00, to put together the content and structure of the speech. However on a very limited budget, I had to find ways of making it work with all my other responsibilities. $2000.00 at the time was a lot of money for me for a speech, but I thought if I am going to do this, I need to invest in order to get the best ROI that I can get.

The sessions with my speaking coach were not only about me putting my speech together, but working on getting comfortable telling my story in a way that was meaningful and authentic. There were several times in the months that followed the initial speaking invitation, that I felt like giving up due to having a few times where I had to put the speaking coaching sessions on hold for personal reasons , whether that was work, my son or managing my other responsibilities or for being FLAT BROKE. Luckily the speaking coach who I worked with was very understanding, a wonderful individual that gave me so much support during my growth process of becoming a speaker. 

Before I knew it September turned into December.....January.....February....March...I started to panic...WHY? Because I had a month or so left and my speech was not completely done. My work-life balance was really well.....UNBALANCED, I was often tired ....overworked..trying to juggle my other responsibilities with single motherhood over my head....and had to carve out some time to finish this thing. I started to think well since I can not put energy into this speech ...maybe I should back out of it... 

I HIT A CROSSROAD......more negative thoughts...uncertainty...I had a talk with my speaking coach stating that I wasn’t  sure that I would be able to go through with the speaking engagement due to all the other responsibilities I had going on...it was too much..I didn’t have time to really prepare....after talking through with my coach...it wasn’t that preparation was my problem........it was ...FEAR.....I was scared of what I COULDN’T SEEN HAPPENING......If I didn’t do the speech, what was the worst that could happen....stated my speaking coach....you could not do it and stay COMFORTABLE.  

When my speaking coach stated the words, “COMFORTABLE” something snapped in me. I didn’t want to be comfortable, I wanted to grow. So I buckled down and got the structure of the speech down and turned it into a PowerPoint form as requested by the program manager for the conference.

After an eight hour drive from Philadelphia, we arrived in Toronto, Canada, missing the first day of the conference due to schedule conflicts. The night before I could hardly sleep, I could hardly breath....I went to sleep, however it was broken due to endless anxiety inducing thoughts about my speech. I hardly practiced the speech, I put the powerpoint presentation together a week or so before the conference. I figured that since it was my own story, it would just flow when I opened my mouth....at least this is what I told myself.

The conference started at 9am, I woke up at 7am to get dressed, put my make up and to meditate. I arrived to the conference room to an intimate setting, all the participants we seated and the presentations begin. My presentation was after at 11:20am, right before lunch. I remember thinking....Shara just breath...you will be okay...all you have to do is open your mouth and the words will come out.....

The rest of the presentation was pretty much a BLUR after that....after looking at the video taken, it was like I was looking at another person..having an out of body experience. I gave a warm smile and shared with the audience that unlike the other wonderful researched based presentations, I was the research, a real-life example of the hidden faces of mental illness. I talked about my military story and all my struggles with my son. After the speech, I was greeted with warm embraces, congratulations, HUGS and THANK YOUs from strangers from all over the globe. 

One of my most powerful memories from the conference was listening to a young lady who suffered from postpartum depression in college, listening to her testimony brought me to tears because I could relate to her story and after her presentation, I ran out to her and gave her a big hug, because although she lived in Canada, I understood her pain and I wanted her to know that I saw her and understood the journey she was taking with her young son. She later wrote me, telling me that my story was an inspiration to her, I was touched and inspired to keep speaking my own truth.

Overall my international speaking engagement was a success and to think it all started with sharing a video of my son dance, led me to a life and career changing experience and the courage to keep reach out to others with my story. 

My TAKE AWAYS:

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL LESSONS IN LIFE ARE PAINFUL, HOWEVER LESSONS WERE MEANT TO BE SHARED.

I AM MORE THEN MY FEAR

AUTHENTICITY IS FREEDOM

YOU NEVER KNOW  WHAT LIVES YOU WILL TOUCH WITH YOUR STORY

PERSEVERANCE PAYS OFF IF YOU ARE WILLING TO DO WHAT IS NECESSARY

ANYTHING WORTH DOING TAKES TIME

NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD, THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE WHO MAY HAVE A DIFFERENT LIFE EXPERIENCE THAN YOU DO....BUT THEY KNOW WHAT PAIN IS and THEY KNOW WHAT JOY IS.....YOU ARE NOT ALONE.