The power of Positive Childhood Experiences and Rituals

As professionals working with Third Culture Kids (TCKs), we understand the unique challenges that children in globally mobile families face. Frequent moves, changing schools, and navigating different cultures can be both enriching and destabilizing. While these experiences can offer incredible growth opportunities, they can also lead to feelings of disconnection, loss, and stress. This is why Positive Childhood Experiences (PCEs) are so crucial—they serve as a balancing and preventive force against the potential negative impacts of mobility on TCKs.

Research has shown that PCEs are not just beneficial; they are essential for fostering resilience and well-being in children who experience significant transitions. The work of Bethell et al. (2019) and Sege & Browne (2017) highlights how certain experiences can buffer the effects of stress and promote healthy development, even in the face of frequent change.

Key PCEs that have proven effective include:

1. Supportive Relationships: TCKs often leave behind friends and familiar faces, making it crucial that they have at least one stable, caring adult in their lives. Whether it’s a parent, teacher, or mentor, this relationship provides a much-needed anchor in a constantly shifting world.
2. Feeling Safe: With so much change, creating safe physical and emotional environments is vital. Children need to know they have a secure base, whether it's at home or in school, to explore and adapt to new surroundings confidently.
3. Opportunities for Social Engagement: For TCKs, forming new friendships and connections is a repeated challenge. Participating in community activities, sports, and clubs can help them quickly build a sense of belonging, which is essential for their social development.
4. Connection to School and Learning: A positive school experience can be a constant amidst change. Supportive teachers and engaging learning environments not only foster academic success but also help children adapt to new educational systems and expectations.
5. Cultural Continuity and Identity: Maintaining a strong connection to their cultural roots, despite frequent moves, is vital for a TCK’s sense of identity. Celebrating cultural traditions, speaking their native language at home, and engaging in community events help preserve this continuity.
6. Family Traditions and Rituals: Regular family traditions offer stability and continuity, providing a comforting sense of normalcy. These rituals, whether daily routines or special celebrations, help TCKs feel grounded, no matter where they are in the world.

The Importance of Rituals in Transitions

Rituals play a particularly vital role during transitions, not only for children but also for adults. As parents, caregivers, or educators, it’s important to recognize that children learn more from what we do than from what we say. The rituals we engage in as adults set a powerful example, teaching children how to navigate changes and find stability in life.

Rituals are deeply interconnected with all aspects of life. There are cultural rituals that help maintain a sense of identity and continuity, and rituals connected to our learning processes, such as the specific ways or places where we study or practice something. Social rituals, like celebrating sports events or maintaining training routines, play a key role in building community and fostering a sense of belonging. Then there are personal rituals we perform to feel safe and secure—simple acts like locking the house, giving a goodnight kiss, or praying.

At the heart of all these rituals is human connection. Rituals are almost always performed with or for someone, even if that someone is ourselves. They are ways of connecting—with others, with memories, with a sense of calmness, or with something greater, like a spiritual belief. This connection is what gives rituals their power, making them meaningful and stabilizing forces during times of change.

Rituals are not habits

It’s crucial to understand the difference between habits and rituals, especially when considering family traditions. Habits are often performed automatically, with little awareness or intention behind them. They can change easily as our routines or circumstances shift. In contrast, rituals are carried out with a deeper level of awareness and significance. They are intentional actions imbued with meaning, even if that meaning evolves over time.

While habits may adapt to our daily needs, rituals are what we hold onto—they provide continuity and a sense of identity. Rituals may evolve as we move through different life stages or encounter the limitations of a new environment, but their core purpose remains intact. This is why rituals are so essential in the context of family traditions.

When we engage in rituals that are meaningful to us, we pass down these practices to our children, helping them navigate transitions with resilience and a strong sense of connection.

By maintaining these rituals, we not only offer our children a model for finding stability and meaning amidst life's uncertainties, but we also stabilize ourselves in the process. After all, the first and most impactful positive childhood experience is having strong, supportive relationships—the anchor that guides us throughout our lives.

Just like the safety instructions on an airplane, where adults are advised to put their oxygen masks on first, it’s essential for caregivers to prioritize their well-being. Without the help and guidance of a stable adult, a child can easily feel lost in the complexities of life. If you find yourself struggling, don’t hesitate to seek the support of a specialist.

Karina Lagarrigue

Specialized in Cross-Cultural Couples and Families in Global Transitions