The Practice of Sobriety: Exploring the "Sober Curious" Movement

In recent years, the concept of sobriety has evolved beyond the traditional understanding of abstaining from alcohol for health or addiction recovery. A new wave of people, the internet often refers to as "sober curious," are questioning their relationship with alcohol and exploring what it means to live a life without it. This movement isn't about labeling oneself as an alcoholic or committing to a lifetime of sobriety—it's about practicing mindfulness and intention in our choices around drinking.

As someone who has been practicing sobriety recently for the past few months, I've come to realize the profound impact it can have on both personal and professional aspects of life. My journey into this practice, alongside the rising trend of being "sober curious," has opened my eyes to the benefits of stepping back and reevaluating the role alcohol plays in our lives.

The Sober Curious Movement

The "sober curious" movement is gaining momentum, particularly among Millennials and Gen Z, who are increasingly aware of the impacts of alcohol on mental and physical health. This movement encourages individuals to ask themselves why they drink, what they gain from it, and what they might gain by taking a break. It’s about being curious, experimenting, and finding out what sobriety might offer without the pressure to quit drinking entirely.

Holly Whitaker, in her book "Quit Like a Woman," discusses the societal pressures that encourage drinking and how stepping away from alcohol can lead to profound personal growth. She writes, "We’ve been conditioned to see alcohol as an inherent part of our social and emotional lives, but when we step away from it, we start to see the ways it’s been holding us back."

My Personal Journey into Sobriety

My own journey into sobriety began from a place of both: necessity and curiosity. I wanted to see what life would be like without the fog of alcohol—how it would change my thoughts, my interactions, and my sense of self. The first few weeks (years, lol) were challenging, as I navigated social events without the usual crutch of a drink(s) in hand. I quickly realized how ingrained alcohol was in my routine and how much of a buffer it provided in social situations.

But as the weeks turned into months, something shifted. I began to notice the clarity of my thoughts, the depth of my emotions, and the authenticity of my interactions. Social anxiety, which I had often masked with alcohol, became something I confronted head-on. It was uncomfortable at first, but it led to a greater understanding of myself and what I truly wanted from my relationships and experiences.

The Benefits of Practicing Sobriety

There are numerous benefits to practicing sobriety, many of which I’ve experienced firsthand:

1. Mental Clarity: Without the fog of alcohol, I found my mind clearer and more focused. Decision-making became easier, and I felt more present in my daily life.
2. Emotional Resilience: Sobriety has allowed me to face my emotions head-on, rather than numbing them. This has led to greater emotional resilience and a deeper understanding of my triggers and coping mechanisms.
3. Physical Health: The physical benefits of sobriety are well-documented—better sleep, improved energy levels, and overall better health. For me, these improvements have been a significant motivator to continue this practice.
4. Authentic Relationships: Removing alcohol from my social interactions has led to more genuine connections. Conversations are more meaningful, and I feel more connected to the people around me.

Research on Sobriety and the Sober Curious Movement

Research supports the benefits of sobriety, even for those who aren’t necessarily struggling with alcohol dependence. Studies have shown that taking breaks from alcohol, such as participating in initiatives like “Dry January,” can lead to lasting reductions in alcohol consumption and improvements in overall well-being.

The "sober curious" movement also taps into a growing awareness of mental health. According to a 2021 study published in the Journal of Substance Abuse Treatment, individuals who reduce or eliminate alcohol often report significant improvements in mental health, including reduced anxiety and depression.

Holly Whitaker also highlights the cultural shift happening around alcohol. She argues that as more people explore sobriety, we begin to see a collective reimagining of social norms. "We’re moving towards a culture that values presence and authenticity over intoxication," she writes. "This shift is not just about alcohol; it’s about how we choose to live our lives."

Navigating Social Situations with social anxiety

One of the biggest challenges of practicing sobriety, especially in a culture that normalizes drinking, is navigating social situations. For me, this was one of the hardest parts of the journey. Social anxiety has always been a significant struggle for me, and alcohol quickly became my go-to solution for managing the discomfort of networking and industry events. It acted as a social crutch, helping me feel more at ease (more human) in situations where I felt out of place or overwhelmed.

When I decided to stop drinking, I quickly realized how deeply intertwined alcohol was with my coping mechanisms. The first few sober social events were incredibly difficult—I felt exposed and anxious, worried about how others would perceive my choice to abstain. But over time, I learned to set boundaries, communicate my needs confidently, and embrace the discomfort instead of avoiding it. Some friends were supportive, some still aren't. 

Alcohol and ADHD: The Terrible Two

As someone with ADHD, alcohol served another purpose beyond just social ease. It temporarily boosted my dopamine levels, providing short-lived relief from the constant tornado of thoughts and emotions that come with ADHD. However, this was a false comfort. While alcohol can temporarily increase dopamine, it ultimately depletes it over time, exacerbating ADHD symptoms and making it harder to manage mood and focus.

Since quitting alcohol, I've noticed a visible improvement in my ability to regulate dopamine naturally - no more hangxiety! (Which is proven to be significantly worse in humans like me with ADHD). 

Through exercise, mindfulness, and healthier habits, my mood is more stable, my focus sharper, and I’m more consistent in both my personal and professional life. Sobriety has allowed me to understand myself better and develop genuine coping strategies that truly support my mental health.

Living Intentionally: The Impact of Sobriety

A significant part of this journey has been finding activities and social settings that don’t revolve around alcohol. This shift has opened up new avenues for connection and enjoyment, whether it’s through hiking, yoga, coffee dates, or creative workshops with my mom. These experiences have allowed me to engage more fully with life and connect with others on a deeper level.

If you can’t answer these three questions without referring to alcohol, it might be time to step back and reevaluate—there’s so much more to being human:

1. What do you do for fun?
2. What are your hobbies?
3. Where do you like to go out?

Sobriety has shown me again how much there is to life beyond the confines of drinking culture.

Moving Forward

I feel stupidly naive for having gone so long without considering this possibility of just simply not drinking. How on earth would I be able to go to networking events, attend rugby games or connect with my friends? I was scared that my life would change too much, that I would lose all my friends or not be able to socialize… and I did have a number of very difficult discussions with friends and a lot of fucks ups to get to here, I’m also certain I’ll have many more to come. 

But for those who are curious about what life might be like without alcohol, I encourage you to explore this path. Whether it’s for a week, a month, or longer, taking a break from alcohol can offer profound insights into your life and your relationship with yourself.

As Holly Whitaker so aptly puts it, "Sobriety isn’t about giving up something; it’s about gaining everything."

The "sober curious" movement is about more than just abstaining from alcohol—it’s about reclaiming control over our choices, our health, and our lives. By practicing sobriety, we can gain clarity, resilience, and deeper connections with ourselves and others. It’s a journey worth exploring, and one that I’m grateful to be on.

Accounts to follow for inspo

Here are some of my favourite accounts to follow if you’re looking for some motivation & support:

• Soberfitgirl
• Sober not boring
• @sobergirlsociety - A community supporting women on their sobriety journey with resources, stories, and events.
• @the_sobercurator - A lifestyle blog and Instagram account that offers resources and inspiration for those living a sober life.
• @wearesober - The Instagram account for the Sober app, which tracks your progress and connects you with a community of people on the same journey.
• @holly - Holly Whitaker, author of "Quit Like a Woman," shares insights and support for living a sober life.
• @sobrietyqueens - A community focused on supporting women in sobriety with uplifting content and motivational posts.
• @thisnakedmind - An account focused on helping people reframe their relationship with alcohol, based on the book "This Naked Mind" by Annie Grace.

Also check out these hashtags on Instagram or LinkedIn: #SoberCurious #SoberLife #SoberLiving #AlcoholFree #SoberCommunity #SoberJourney #SoberAF #SoberNotBoring #SoberOctober #DryJanuary