Pssst! Here’s the Scoop on Workplace Gossip!
Valerie M. Grubb, CSP
Keynote Speaker, Executive Coach, People Development Leader, Author
Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.
We all have a general understanding of what gossip is. Most of the time, U.S. Supreme Court justice Potter Stewart’s famous statement “I know it when I see it”—which he used in his opinion for the 1964 case Jacobellis v. Ohio to describe his test for obscenity—works for gossip: usually, people recognize workplace gossip when they encounter it.
Sometimes, though, it can be challenging to determine where idle chit-chat ends and where gossip begins. Here are a few signs that your conversation has crossed over into gossip territory:
In short, if a conversation about someone includes comments that you wouldn’t say to their face, it’s definitely gossip.
Why You Should Care
Rumor, gossip, slander—single drops of poison can pollute an entire system.
First off, let me just put this here: in general, gossip is bad. No one wants to be on the receiving end of it. So why should someone who isn’t the subject or target of gossip ever think it’s okay to dole it out?
Even from a purely pragmatic perspective, gossip has several downsides that make it especially damaging to the workplace. Many leadership experts agree that gossiping is a key indicator of an unhealthy organizational culture. In particular, when employees are busy stabbing one another in the back, trust and morale go down the toilet. Workers can’t function as a team—and they can’t get their work done.
Discussions about gossip usually focus on the people who are doing the gossiping and the people who are being gossiped about. But people who aren’t participants or targets of gossip are affected by it as well. Witnesses and bystanders might worry about becoming the next targets. Even people who have zero knowledge of or involvement with workplace gossip can feel its effects.
Consider these possible negative consequences of workplace gossip:
When gossip takes over the office, at best teamwork and productivity are compromised—and at worst a toxic workplace emerges. As a leader and manager, you should care about preventing and mitigating the factors that can have negative effects on your organization.
Understanding the Psychology of Gossip
People gossip. People are insecure, so they talk about other people so that they won't be talked about. They point out flaws in other people to make them feel good about themselves.
Gossip thrives because humans tend to pay more attention to negative information than we do to positive information. For example, think about the last time you posted something on Instagram or Facebook and got a string of enthusiastic comments followed by a single, stinging rebuke. Which response drew your gaze (and your attention) more?
We react similarly to information about others. We often give negative gossip about others more consideration because we view it (consciously or subconsciously) as useful information to protect ourselves. Gossip is typically about jealousy: cutting down others can help people feel better about themselves and feel that they’ve improved their positions in social—and workplace—hierarchies.
Workplaces, however, should be about teamwork. Yes, people have their own careers, responsibilities, and ambitions—and as a manager, you should help your employees advance in all of those areas. But the people within an organization also must work together to achieve the company’s goals. And part of your job as a leader is to guide your employees toward that end.
How to Respond to Gossip
As soon as you start listening to the gossip surrounding you, you just get dragged down by it.
As the boss, you are ultimately responsible for your organizational culture (or at a minimum, the department that you manage). As soon as you know that gossiping is happening, you must take action to reinforce and promote a positive culture and support a healthy work environment.
Recommended by LinkedIn
First and foremost, regulate your own emotional response. When you’re in the throes of negative emotions (feeling angry, upset, disappointed, hurt or sad, for example), it can be difficult to keep a cool head. Use breathing, meditation, or whatever strategies work for you to stay calm and get yourself in the right headspace so you can think about and address the problem—without saying or doing something that you’ll regret later (and that might get your organization in trouble too!).
Review your company’s anti-harassment policy (in many companies, gossip is considered a form of harassment) so you are sure you’re operating within the company’s guidelines.
Confront the bad behavior. Meet individually with gossipers and bring specific examples of comments that you have heard and how this employee’s behavior could affect their colleagues and the work culture. Gossips aren’t always malicious: sometimes they get carried away in the moment (spurred by a desire to be “in the know” and show off to others), or they aren’t really aware of the negative impacts of their actions. Hopefully this conversation is enough to curtail their behavior immediately.
However, if their actions are especially damaging or if this isn’t the first time you’ve had this conversation with a particular person, you will need to take more drastic measures. If you have an employee on your team who thrives on gossip, call them on it. If it continues, follow your company’s performance management process to write them up. Hopefully that will correct the situation, but if it doesn’t, be prepared to follow through with termination.
Support the targeted employees. Whether you’ve heard directly from an employee who’s been the target of gossip or you’ve become aware of the gossip through a secondhand source (e.g., a bystander, a friend), make sure the targeted employee knows that the problem has been dealt with. You don’t need to share the details (doing so would likely violate some privacy rules), but you can tell them “I’ve handled it”—and encourage them to let you know if this problem reoccurs (or if new ones arise).
How to Respond to Gossip About YOU
Gossip is hardly uplifting.
When you’re the target of workplace gossip, even if you think, “This is no big deal” or “I can handle this” or “Everyone knows this is false,” you must address it. If you do nothing, you risk tacitly sending the message that gossip is okay. Also, if you know that gossip can have a negative impact on someone’s work, why would you think that your own work somehow wouldn’t also be affected by it?
At the very least, have a private conversation with the gossiper. Your tolerance threshold may be a bit higher for gossip about you than it is for gossip about an employee, but in all cases you need to let them know that their behavior is not okay—and that it needs to stop. And if it doesn’t? Time to bring in HR to deal with the issue in a more “official” capacity.
How to Prevent and Stop Gossip in the Office
Gossip dies when it hits a wise person’s ears.
If you starve a fire of oxygen, it can’t spread and will eventually die out. The same thing happens when you starve gossip of participants. Gossip can’t sustain itself on its own: it requires active participation (both talkers and listeners) to survive. Therefore, your main strategy for eliminating gossip in the office is to tell people “don’t say it” and “don’t listen to it.”
Enact zero-tolerance policies on workplace gossip. Bring up the topic of gossip in a staff meeting to educate your team on its negative consequences (and how it won’t be tolerated). Highlight any relevant HR or legal policies. (For example, many companies prohibit employees from disclosing sensitive information to others. In such a situation, a manager who discloses confidential information that leads to workplace gossip about an employee might face disciplinary action or even termination.)
Set an example. Be a good role model for others to follow and don't engage in the gossip, no matter how juicy it might seem to be. Then remind everyone that they, too, shouldn’t nurture gossip in any way.
Turn gossip on its head. Encourage everyone to respond to negative gossip with a positive. A complimentary remark about the person being attacked will hopefully stop gossipers in their tracks and let them know that they won’t gain a sympathetic ear with anyone there.
Encourage boundaries. Coworkers spend a lot of time together, and it’s inevitable for them to share aspects of their personal lives with each other. That’s normal and even desirable—those kinds of interactions can help build relationships that lead to stronger teams. (And besides, it’s impossible to imagine a workplace in which people don’t talk about what they did over the weekend or where they went on vacation or something funny their kids said over dinner last night!) But unless someone has absolute trust in their colleagues, he or she may want to refrain from sharing sensitive personal information that could be fodder for gossip.
Final Thoughts
Let today be the day you speak only the good you know of other people and encourage others to do the same.
Gossip has no place in the workplace. It damages engagement, productivity, and teamwork. And it’s just plain mean. Why would you want to let such negativity gain a foothold in your organization?
If you focus on building a strong, positive workplace culture, there won’t be any room at all for gossip to thrive. Encourage everyone to share positive stories about work, customers, and culture. For example, starting morning huddles with positive news (such as an employee sharing how a colleague went above and beyond in serving a customer) and asking managers to spread that news with their teams and departments can help reinforce the desired cultural values and key behaviors that can strengthen the organization.
And if you are ever tempted to participate in sharing even “just one” piece of gossip, remembering the Turkish proverb “Who gossips to you will gossip of you” should stop you in your tracks.
Have you ever had to address a gossip situation at your workplace? In the comments below, share what strategies worked (and which ones didn’t!).
Leadership Trainer | Veteran | I Help Managers Lead by Example, Not by Decree | Director- STAND Leadership
7moThe buck really does stop with the leader, i've always found it helpful to attribute any shortcomings in the roster to my lack of leadership (and there's been plenty). Oh how gossip destroys teams, then there's rumour and innuendo to take care off. Nice coverage! 👏 Valerie M. Grubb, CSP