The Pursuit of Parenting Perfection

Raise your hand if you are the parent that gets to practice their negotiation skills, daily. This is especially for the parents with a strong-willed child that debates everything from brushing their teeth to the clothes they wear.

As parents, we often want everything to be perfect for our children. We want them to have the best experiences, the best clothes, and the best memories. But sometimes, in our pursuit of perfection, we forget that our children are individuals with their own thoughts and feelings.

On a recent vacation, my son wanted to wear his pajamas to breakfast; immediately, I responded with “absolutely not.” Then ensued the battle; I obliged and said, you know what, go for it. Wear pajamas to breakfast. We walked into the hotel restaurant, and my son’s pajamas caught some attention, but he was so happy and confident. He sat at the table with a big smile and ordered his breakfast like it was no big deal. We chatted and laughed, and I realized that sometimes the little moments make the most significant impact.

As parents, we can get so caught up in trying to make everything perfect that we forget that our children are their own people. They have their own opinions, their own style, and their own way of doing things. It is important to remember to let our children embrace their independence and make their own decision (within reason, of course), even if it means doing things out of the ordinary.

“Perfection’ is man’s ultimate illusion. It simply doesn’t exist in the universe. If you are a perfectionist, you are guaranteed to be a loser in whatever you do.” – David D. Burns

Here are a few tips to help you let go of perfection:

Let go of control

Accept that there are some things in life that you cannot control. Your child may get sick, or your work may require extra hours. Acknowledge that you cannot do everything and that it’s ok to ask for help or let things go.

Prioritize:

Prioritize what is important to you and your family. This will help you focus on what really matters and let go of things that are not as important. Make a to-do list, and do the most important tasks first. When life seems to be unmanageable, consider using an app like trello. 

Accept imperfection:

Understand that everything does not have to be perfect all the time. For example, if you’re hosting a party and there’s a little clutter in the house, it’s ok! Friends and family are there to enjoy the company, not judge the cleanliness of your home. Give the kids a few responsibilities and chores, or find a local cleaner to offer monthly cleaning services.

Practice self-care:

Take care of yourself so you can take care of others. Carve out time for yourself, even if it’s just 30 minutes a day, to do something you enjoy, such as reading a book like Chaos To Calm: 5 Ways Busy Parents Can Break Free from Overwhelm or get a massage. Doing these types of things will help you recharge and reduce stress.

Learn to say no:

Saying “no” to activities, events, or commitments that are not important to you or your family can help reduce stress and give you more time for what really matters.

Be kind to yourself:

Remember to be kind to yourself. You’re doing the best you can, and that is good enough.

By letting go of perfection and embracing a more realistic approach, you can reduce stress, focus on what matters, and enjoy your busy life as a working parent.