Questions coaching clients ask. Pt 1
Ruth Pearce
🐘 International Speaker 🐘 Enterprise Coach 🐘 Workplace Mental Health - Addressing the Elephant in the Room 🐘 Go from thinking to doing & dreaming to being 🐘
There is one question that I am asked more often by coaching clients than any other…
“What do your other clients normally talk about in coaching?”
Sometimes they want to make sure that they use coaching the way others usually do. Other times they are looking for inspiration.
There is no right way to use your coaching time
The clients I have been privileged to coach over the years have come with anything and everything. Here are some examples (without specifics because confidentiality is key!)
I am doubtful, but I will try it – This is the client who has been “voluntold” to come to coaching because their boss said they needed to develop management skills, or in some other way change their behavior. Sometimes they have been “offered” coaching as a useful and valuable development tool in others they have been told it is a necessary evil. The upside for the client is that usually their employer pays. The downside is that they may not feel open or ready for coaching or even understand what the purpose is. These clients are often pleasantly surprised to find that coaching is FOR THEM, and it is helpful. They often report that they are enjoying higher levels of energy and enthusiasm.
I am excited and uncertain – this may be a client transitioning from being an individual contributor to being a people manager and was finding it hard to step away from the detailed work and delegate to others. They also want to know more about how to connect with and motivate their team members effectively. They are often excited AND daunted by their new role and value the opportunity to talk things out with their coach. These clients most often report that they are starting to be able to identify when to step in and when to step back, that they are getting more comfortable with delegating, they are creating more balance in their lives between work and other things and that it is becoming easier to set boundaries and stick to them. They say they feel better.
I don't know what I want next – this is a client who is feeling lost, confused, uncertain and wants to explore what they might do next. Sometimes we search for broad meaning in their whole life, in other cases we are specifically looking at what role they want to play in the workplace and how they can achieve that. This client may feel excited by the prospect of identifying a new goal, but others may be feeling a little purposeless and lost. These clients most often report being reconnected with ideas, passions and purpose that had forgotten or lost sight of. This helps them to feel energized and take on the next challenge in life whatever that might be.
I am learning new things but it does not seem to stick, I don't know what to do with what I am learning – this is a client who is on a self-development journey. Maybe they are taking a class, or they are reading books and watching Ted-Talks about at topic that interests them. They are interested in what they are learning and at the same time feel that they are struggling to optimize their learning and turn it into applicable behavior. We explore what the learning means to them, how it can help them and the people around them and ways to apply the learning rather than just file it away. In one study it was shown that training only results in a 22% increase in productivity but training plus coaching increased that number to 88%! These clients report making better sense of what they are learning that they are able to apply their new knowledge more effectively and that they feel more confident and positive.
I had a plan but I have not really made much progress. I don't even know if I want the same thing anymore– this client has a goal. Often it is a goal they have had for a while, and they are struggling to remember why it is important and struggling to identify executable steps to move toward the goal. Often, they want an accountability partner to help keep them focused and on track. Of course, the work to be done is all theirs, but as their coach I can help them stay connected to that goal and to recognize if the goal stops being relevant. We explore questions like “what impact do you want to make?” so they can check that they goal they have is aligned with their sense of purpose and meaning. This type of client often reports switching their focus from prioritizing their to-do list to executing on their priorities. They often realize that they are spreading themselves too thin, pushing too hard and too fast AND that they have made more progress than they realized because they have not been celebrating small wins. They often report gaining more focus and enthusiasm and being re-invigorated.
Client F – this client probably has a stressful job and does not feel they have a good network of people to explore their challenges safely. Their closest contacts maybe colleagues and they feel uncomfortable exploring doubts and challenges with people who might have more than a passion interest. This client gets tremendous benefit out of having a safe place and a safe person to sift through their challenges. This client most often reports finding clarity, that they can sort out their thoughts, ideas, and feelings. They tend to report that they feel more in control of their responses to situations (emotional intelligence) and that they feel more connected with their colleagues. The word that tends to come up is “calm” or “clear”. Often, they find that they have energy and bandwidth to help others get more grounded and clearer too!
I have nothing left, noone is listening and nothing will change – this is the client who is burned out or wondering if they might be burning out. The feel disconnected, exhausted, and disenchanted. Maybe the role they have seemed like a dream role at the start but is just a big drag now. Or maybe the organization seemed to have values aligned with G’s own, but after a few months it becomes clear those values are aspirational not actual (lived). Whatever the story, this client is feeling down, hopeless, and not at all like themselves. Clients facing this type of challenge can find it hard to decide what their next step should be. They may feel overwhelmed at the prospect of changing anything. We move slowly, refocusing on things that are important to the client, making incremental change – we go for 2% change a day – to move them toward where they want to be. Clients like G often report feeling less hopeless, having hope for the future, empowered to make choices, and even re-energized. It takes time and patience from the client and the coach, but the change is palpable!
These are just some examples of why clients come to a coach.
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The purpose evolves
Often what they come for morphs over time into something else. They may start off with a specific work goal like a promotion or a transition to management/leadership and then realize that coaching can help with more things about life. About 1/3 of my clients are like Client F – they need and want a safe place to share ideas and explore problems.
Whatever you want support with there is probably a coach out there who is just right for you. It may not be me, but I can help you find who it is! My goal is always to find the right coach for you in this moment. That may change over time. Or you may have a long-lasting relationship with your coach – Richard Branson of Virgin had the same coach for 35 years. Other people change their coach frequently to get new perspectives.
Want to come to coaching but think it is too expensive? Or want to come to coaching but want to learn from peers at the same time? Group coaching might be for you!
Find out more
Book a chemistry call with me and let’s explore what you will get from coaching!
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Co-author, Speaker, F.I.T. Coach/Facilitator, Chakra and Wellness Advocate at Dr Helen Z
2yRuth Pearce Project Manager Burnout Coach (PM-BoC) thanks for sharing. Great read!
Transform your leadership, transform your bottom line. Our programs equip leaders with the skills and mindset to drive your organization forward.
2yI love this Ruth!
Experienced business development professional clinical research Phase I to Phase IV.
2yGood morning! Thanks a lot.