Radical Introspection for Better Empathy

My conversations with other business owners over the years, a recent heartfelt social media post by one of them, and my continued introspection has led me to a realization. Vulnerability and trust are the keys to growth and being an effective and empathetic human centered innovator.

For me, true innovation has its basis in creatively solving problems. Identifying the right problems to solve leads to valuable innovations that people really need and helps them make progress in their lives (tip of the hat to Bob Moesta and JTBD). If you’re not doing this, you might be making junk for landfills or mobile apps that end up getting deleted after a few unsatisfactory uses. 

We identify the best problems to solve through our research. During this work, we cut out external clutter and noise and take the time to deeply listen and observe. Signaling our vulnerability by being fully present can lead to the trust of our research participants, and this psychologically safe space helps people let their guard down so authentic communication and sharing can happen.

Looking into the mirror (radical introspection leads to better extrospection) 

The more we can get uncomfortable and honest with ourselves, understand what we’re doing, and discern the reasons why we’re doing those things, the better we can be at asking the right questions of our customers to uncover problems to solve. If we’re in a sensible, pragmatic headspace, we are more open to external inputs.  

A practical example from all those airline safety lectures I have heard: put your mask on before helping the person next to you with theirs. Understand yourself before you can truly understand others. Socrates said, ‘To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom,’ and to know thyself is the starting point for better empathetic connections.

Seeing the negative space

An art and design school education helped me understand how to best see the negative space in the world around me – the parts of life on which our eyes and minds don’t naturally focus. This goes beyond just the visual. It moves into the ability to read between the lines of the things people are doing and saying. The subtle physical and emotional cues people reveal when they allow you to observe them for contextual research and ethnography can uncover a myriad of opportunities for innovation.

Training yourself to see this negative space, identifying the gaps in customer’s needs, and being open to other’s problems are all skills that you can develop. You’ve got to be ready for surprising and unexpected inputs, and most importantly, to let your guard down. It’s always challenging to place your focus 100% on any task at hand, but when you can do this, your time in interviews, conversations, and research will be incredibly fruitful. 

Our team always has a goal and structure for our research sessions, but some of the best insights sometimes come from the participant leading us down paths we weren’t expecting. After all, it’s their problems we’re trying to solve and their lives we’re trying to make better, so let some of this thoughtful wandering happen. As innovators looking for opportunities, we all go into observation and research with assumptions (and all too often, solutions already in mind), but step away from your assumptions and stay open to unexpected directions with active listening and observing. This just might lead you to a golden opportunity.

Some ideas to help with opening yourself up to ‘radical’ introspection:

• Challenge your assumptions. Ask yourself, ‘Why do I believe what I believe?’ We all have long-held beliefs, but rarely do we question them. Also, write it all down, as the act of writing helps make it stick.
• Practice mindfulness and meditation. Yes, regularly step away from everything and find time to clear your mind and be present in the moment. It takes a lot of practice, but it helps clear your intellectual and emotional system to be open to others. I recommend checking out the book 10% Happier by Dan Harris.
• Seek feedback from others. Groups like the business owners’ group I’m a part of allow you to share openly and with full vulnerability. Find a group or create one yourself. This is a safe place to say things and ask questions you would not normally feel comfortable asking.
• Try doing a self-portrait. Sounds crazy, right? A classic art school exercise that challenges you to look at yourself objectively and draw what you actually see. It’s way harder than you think. 

As I continue to build deeper relationships with friends and business associates, I find my time working on radical introspection has also resulted in more open, authentic, and satisfying connections. And, if I’m being totally honest, has led to some pretty amazing products over the years.

Oh yeah, and that is a self portrait. 

I hope this ends up being a conversation with some of you out there, so please feel free to post comments or reach out to me. I’m always looking to challenge MY assumptions.