Reduce Self Care Decision Fatigue with a Self Care Menu

It’s Friday afternoon, your kids are at a friend’s house, the house is in somewhat tolerable condition, you’re off work, and all the sudden you have a short block of ME TIME. Did you just get hit with a wave of panic? Yep, happens to most of us overthinkers and overdoers.

If having the time for Not Boring Self Care isn’t common, it can feel almost jarring to have the opportunity. When we tend to restrict our aspirational self care, it can lead to a big swing towards indulging to an unhelpful level. This can result in a difficult relationship with self-care, and increasing our vulnerabilities to burnout.

Self Care Menus Can:

• Reduce Decision Fatigue
• Allow More Time for the Activity (instead of planning)
• Increase willingness to try the activity
• Reduce reasons why self-care is not accessible
• Maintain a balance of novelty and strucutre
• Increase consistency with self care and more!

We will review how to structure your self care menu, offer tips to help with using it, and offer various ideas to get you started! Let’s break it down.

Review: The Types of Not Boring Self Care

The self care menu primarily focuses on the different types of not-boring self care. This is the stuff you likely think of when you hear the term “self care.” Not Boring Self Care Activities are primarily related to self-soothing, leisure, hobbies, travel, rest, free time, fun, etc.

To give you a clearer breakdown of the different types of self care, here is a quick review:

• Aspirational Self Care is the type of self care that is more “luxurious” or not easily accessible on a daily basis. It can be self care we work towards like travel, dinner at a nice restaurant, a Target run, a specific service…anything that fills us up, but if done all the time could be overdone.
• Inspirational Self Care is the type of self care that motivates us, comforts us, and keeps us working towards our valued goals. Inspirational self care can be a countdown calendar, positive quotes, vision boards, Pinterest boards, mini-celebrations, or other reminders related to self care.
• Incorporated Self Care is “low lift” and accessible self care that is meant to offer a brief respite from the grind of our daily life. This can be like a game on your phone, reading a book for 15 minutes, coloring, or your nightly tea. Incorporated self care is related to frequency and our routines.
• Community Care is how we contribute to community and allow community to connect with ourselves. Volunteering or coffee dates with friends are good examples of community care.
• For all types of self care, you will use the mediums of body based self care, mindset based self care, social self care, spiritual self care, environment self care and emotional self care.

It is important to have these terms in mind because a diverse self care menu will help with its effectiveness. Novelty is an essential aspect of a self care menu, but within the parameters of consistency to keep us in a state of “safety” or engagement.

Something to be mindful of: Please remember that when creating something like a self-care menu it needs to be tailored for the context of your life. For some, a solo coffee shop date might fall into the aspirational self care category, where for others a trip to the mountains is more aspirational for them. We all have different tastes, resources, and lives…our menu should reflect that!

Now that you have the types, feel free to pause and brain dump all the different types of self care activities you personally enjoy or aspire to have more of in your life.

How to Structure Your Self Care Menu

This is going to be more about your style of engagement and how you process energy. It may be helpful to experiment with all the different frameworks, or combine them for a tailored approach.

Self Care Menus are typically broken down by:

• Time Available: Creating a self care menu with different time increments and activities that can be done in that time. Amounts suggested include: 5-15 min, 30-60 min, 1-3 hours, Half Day, Full Day (multiple days or a week if desired)
• Energy/Bandwidth Available: A big reason why we are skeptical is because we often do not match our energy levels to the activity. Just like we wouldn’t eat a big bowl of pasta (no matter how delicious) if we were already feeling full. Suggested increments: Go by 10’s (0-100) or by Quarters (0%, 25%, 50%, 75%, 100%) // Struggle with knowing your bandwidth? Read this blog!
• By the Medium: We all have a self-care medium we lean towards, some want a more body based activity…others may want a more mentally stimulating self care activity. See the list above for a quick guide.
• End Goal: Do you want your self care to energize you or help you relax? Similar to medium, you want to make sure you have the most aligned outcome from your self care. Suggested end goals: relaxed, stimulated, supported, connected, motivated, grounded, comforted, inspired

Again, allow yourself to be flexible with the intention that this menu may change with time. Your menu can also be adapted for seasons, stress levels, or surroundings!

The Self Care Menu In Action

Sure, it can feel like a lot of work to create this menu at first, but when you’re in the heat of the moment and need ideas they will be ready for you!

A few ways to help your self care menu work for you:

• Make the menu a background on your computer or phone
• Print the menu out and place it where you are most likely to need the support
• Review the self-care menu often
• Bring in your loved ones by helping them create their own self care menu
• Make the activities more like flash cards and draw at random
• Have the list alongside your weekly planner
• Find a blank template and laminate it for reuse

The self care menu is an activity that when done with intention and gravity can truly impact your habits. So the next time you stumble upon a block of time or need to find something to pick you up…you are already a few steps ahead.

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