Reflections: Some Thoughts on Authenticity
Written by: Alan Stern, DDS
“BE YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF”
“YOU DO YOU”
These phrases sound great and, on the surface, appear to be good phrases to guide our conduct and our lives.
For one moment, I’ll throw a negative thought out with the assurance that I won’t do it very often. I am growing weary of these misused and misapplied ideas.
What’s wrong with being authentic?
To paraphrase Bill Clinton, that all depends on what “authentic” means!
In my life as a practitioner of the profession of dentistry, there were more than a few occasions when not-so-great things happened.
They included:
In my personal life, things happened, as well, including:
In any of the above scenarios, my authentic or instinctive self would have reacted very poorly. In all these scenarios, my authentic self would have either delivered a New Jersey expletive or a barrage of offensive or defensive remarks designed to win an argument. Or maybe my authentic self would have curled up into a fetal position, thumb in mouth, and wallowed in self-pity. And what would that have done?
What good comes of this kind of authenticity, even though we all instinctively feel upset or frustrated from time to time?
There is a better way.
My good friend Laura Schwindt recently gave me Brian Johnson’s 1,000 page book, Arete.
Johnson teaches that Arete is the notion of “expressing the best version of yourself, moment to moment to moment.”
Arete acknowledges that each one of us is unique, with our own strengths, abilities, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities. It also acknowledges that each one of us can do great things in the world and always improve our greatness.
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What is your intent?
What are you doing well in your profession? Can you do it better (of course you can)? What can you do on a daily, weekly, monthly, or annual basis to be better? I suggest that you find those areas that you are good at or want to learn more about and create specific action steps for growth. Maybe it’s a hands-on course. Maybe it’s investigating and cultivating new skills. Maybe it’s joining and participating in a good study club. In my career, my Seattle Study club, the Pankey Institute, a Tucker Cast Gold Study Club, and Mary Osborne, Joan Unterschuetz, and Lee Ann Brady’s Leadership and Legacy Retreat checked the boxes for me.
Now, it’s reading and learning more and more on how to be a better speaker, leader, coach, and trusted adviser for practitioners of our beloved profession.
Ask the same of your personal life. What can you do regularly to become healthier, happier, and have more fun? I’m working with intent to be the best husband my wife ever had (we’ve only been married 47 years), a great father, father-in-law, grandfather, friend, and, if Fran doesn’t kill me, a community leader.
Dr. Pankey’s Cross of Dentistry tells us, “Know your patient, know yourself, know your work, and apply your knowledge.”
Brian Johnson’s concept of Arete goes hand-in-hand with Dr Pankey’s thinking. I suspect that they would have been great friends and collaborators!
Whatever your authentic self wants, take little steps every day to advance it toward YOUR preferred future to become the best version of yourself, every personal and professional moment, every single day.
Live the dream.
Strive to be a better and better version of yourself and give yourself a little grace if you blow it every now and then; you are human, after all!
Make life better for others as you make life better for you and your loved ones.
And, of course, Enjoy the Ride!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Alan Stern, DDS, retired from clinical dentistry in 2023 and now operates Better, Richer, Stronger, LLC. He is a dental practice coach, keynote speaker, and author.
His book, Enjoy the Ride, is available on Amazon.
Join his Facebook group strangely called Better, Richer, Stronger.
He can be reached at alan@Betterricherstronger.com.
FEATURED IMAGE CREDIT: Gerd Altmann from Pixabay.
Best Practices for Patient Experiences, Creating Satisfaction in the Workplace, Lessening Burnout.
2moIt lifted my spirits to read what you wrote. Not just the words, but who they were written by. The last couple of years studies are coming to light what our gut feelings have said. At night, the hot tears of great loss and unrecognized injustice keeps me on the tight rope between sanity and living. The secrets are out, they were out a long time ago, but no one keeps updated. For 5 years, I wish I would have died. I should have, but surviving is an instinct. If I had known the 20 years ahead of me, I would have let go. I would have let go like my Service Dog. The trauma ... I have personal ways of getting to my doctors. They ache. What is worse? It comes from the schools, the professors. Seeing a professor l loved, who counseled the traumatized intern, finally said it was done... "it's just what we do". So he is in the profession of hurting patients the rest of their life". That's what reviews say of the one who "cared" for me. I don't want to hear the suicide rate is high, they have so much on their shoulders. So do heart surgeons! But not following protocol intentionally puts staff and patients at high risk. Thank you for caring.
Dental Writer
2moL. D. rides again!