Resilience in the Face of Adversity: Finding Humor and Hope in Difficult Times

“What the heck?! Where did all this water come from?”

It’s 7:30 Easter morning. I shuffle out of my bedroom clad in pajamas and slippers, befuddled to find the kitchen, hallway, and guest bathroom tiled floor covered in puddles of water. 

I hear dripping and turn to see water cascading from the bathroom ceiling and doorframe.

Awake and alarmed, I carefully step through the puddles, kick off my wet slippers and rush up the stairs to check the closet where the water heater is situated. 

Yep. It’s busted and sadly leaking water. Much like the tears I want to release as I face one more thing gone wrong in a series of homeowner issues.

I quietly wake my husband with the bad news and we call the plumber for emergency help, which carries a hefty premium on their already expensive services.

To reduce the price a little, we have the water tank removed and we’ll wait a day for a new one. That means no hot water and our Easter dinner with our kids will have to move.

My best friend, Toby, comes to the rescue. Luckily, he enjoys entertaining so I can bring the food to his house. I can also take a shower there. 

It’s amazing how grateful we can be for hot water when we have to do without it for a day. Especially on a holiday.

Events and Perceptions

As a content entrepreneur, it’s easy to become overwhelmed with the day-to-day operations of running a business. From managing social media accounts to creating content, it can feel like there’s never enough time in the day to get everything done. And when unexpected events happen—a negative review, a project falling through, or a personal setback—it’s natural to feel frustrated, stressed, and even hopeless.

But what if I told you that it isn’t events themselves that disturb people, but only their judgments about them? This idea, popularized by the philosopher Epictetus, suggests that our reactions to events are often more harmful than the events themselves.

How do my judgments cause me anguish?

When we experience an unexpected event, our initial reaction is often to judge it as good or bad. If it’s something positive—like a new client or a great review—we feel happy, accomplished, and successful. But if it’s something negative—like a project falling through or a negative review—we feel stressed, frustrated, and like a failure.

These judgments can quickly spiral out of control, causing us to feel like everything in our world is wrong. We lose sleep; we feel anxious, and we begin to doubt ourselves and our abilities.

But the truth is, it’s often our judgments that cause us the most anguish. When we label an event as good or bad, we create a narrative around it that can be hard to break free from. We begin to focus on the negative aspects of the event, and we fail to see the bigger picture.

If we want to feel peaceful and content in life, we need to change our perception of events. Instead of labeling them as good or bad, we can accept the possibility of good and bad in everything. 

Every setback is an opportunity to learn and grow, and every success is a chance to celebrate and reflect.

We can focus on the good in every situation, no matter how small. 

If we receive a negative review, we can choose to focus on the positive feedback we’ve received in the past. If a project falls through, we can see it as an opportunity to take a break and regroup.

Gratitude is key to changing our perception of events. 

When we focus on what we’re grateful for – our health, our family, our friends, our business, or hot water – we shift our focus away from the negative and towards the positive.

Isn’t That Funny!

One concept that can help us find something funny or hopeful, even in the midst of difficult times, is the idea that "tragedy plus time equals comedy." 

This means that often after a certain amount of time has passed, even the most tragic or difficult situations can become a source of humor or hope.

While it's important to acknowledge and honor our feelings of grief or sadness during challenging times, it can also be helpful to keep in mind that there may come a time when we can find something to laugh or smile about, even if it feels impossible at the moment.

In some cases, finding humor or hope may come naturally over time as we begin to heal and process our emotions. In other cases, we may need to actively seek out ways to shift our perspective and find a new angle or interpretation of our situation.

For example, in the case of the water leak that disrupted Easter dinner plans, it may be difficult to find anything humorous or hopeful at the moment. However, over time, you may be able to look back on the experience and find some humor in the unexpected turn of events or appreciate the memory of spending time with loved ones in a new setting. 

Every crazy, upsetting, unfortunate event can turn into a funny story.

Building Resilience 

Practicing resilience is especially important when we face a chain of difficult challenges, like a water leak that leads to having to turn off the water to your house, which leads to moving Easter dinner to a friend's house at the last minute.

Resilience is the ability to bounce back from setbacks and adversity, adapt to change, and find new ways of doing things when the old ways no longer work. 

Here are some tips for practicing resilience in the face of a chain of difficult challenges:

Stay focused on what you can control 

When we face a chain of difficult challenges, it's easy to feel like everything is out of our control. But there are always things we can control, even if it's just our attitude and how we respond to the situation. 

Stay focused on what you can control and let go of the rest.

Be flexible and adaptable 

When things don't go according to plan, it's important to be flexible and adaptable.

Instead of getting stuck in a fixed mindset, be open to new ideas and solutions. 

In the example of the water leak, be willing to move Easter dinner to a friend's house at the last minute and enjoy the opportunity to spend time with loved ones while allowing a friend to be a hero for the day.

Practice self-care 

It's easy to neglect self-care when dealing with a chain of difficult challenges, but it's more important than ever to take care of ourselves. 

Think about getting enough rest, eating healthy food, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation as ways to make the situation better.

Seek support 

Don't be afraid to reach out to friends and family for support when you're facing a chain of difficult challenges. It's okay to ask for help, and often just talking about your situation with someone else can help you gain a new perspective and find new solutions.

Keep a positive mindset 

Finally, it's important to keep a positive mindset when facing a chain of difficult challenges. 

Instead of focusing on the negatives, try to find the silver linings in each situation. 

In the case of the water leak, I found moving Easter dinner to a friend's house was a fun and memorable experience that I wouldn't have had otherwise. My kids got to hear stories from Toby, and they became better acquainted and laughed a lot. I also have a story to write about in this newsletter!

By practicing resilience in the face of a chain of difficult challenges, we can not only survive but thrive in even the most challenging of situations. With a positive mindset, flexibility, and a willingness to seek support, we can overcome adversity and come out stronger on the other side.