Father's Day and the The Rhyme and the Reason - Revisited

We have all heard of the "unsung heroes" in our communities. Day after day they continue, they're not looking for accolades, praise or recognition, simply making a difference is enough.

Bobby Hayes of the Joshua Group, is such a person.

I first met Bobby Hayes almost 25 years ago when he was feeding and clothing Saint John's most vulnerable kids out of the old church on Waterloo Street that he often referred to a "Crack Alley Church". He has continued undeterred and relentless overcoming obstacles for over 30 plus years in his determination to be a "father figure" to thousands of under privileged and our most vulnerable kids.

For my money, Bobby Hayes deserves to receive the recognition as Father of the Year rather that be recognized for a single day that has come to known as Father's Day. I wrote an article several years while an Opinion Columnist with The Telegraph Journal shortly after I met Bobby Hayes. Since it's Father's Day I thought I would take the time to repost the original article.

The Rhyme and the Reason

New Brunswick Telegraph-Journal 

Thu Nov 11 2010  Page: C5  Section: City 

Last week in response to one of my columns, an online poster wrote: "I know you feel you are just doing your due diligence, but why not leave the crap slinging to the reporters, and keep up "feel good" stories that you are good at writing."

Fair enough.

So, during my search for yet another "good news story" I found The Joshua Group led by Bobby Hayes. I met Bobby at the old Waterloo Street Baptist Church, home for The Joshua Group for the past three years. We entered what I would describe as a tired, cold, abandoned church. Boxes of Cheerios lined the shelves that previously held Bibles; there were small Sunday school rooms, now home to toddler's toys; a less-than-tidy art room and a room used as storage for clothes.

One of the challenges in writing Good Samaritan columns is that eventually you are obliged to look for the rhyme and the reason.

In this case, it was the winter of 1993, and there was Bobby Hayes, kneeling down to tie a little girl's skates. With tears in her eyes, she told him that her mother was dead, that she had no dad, she had no friends and her head had to be shaved because of lice. Hayes later learned that the little girl's mother had died of a drug overdose, likely cocaine.

When I asked Bobby Hayes about the incident, he dropped his head and said quietly, "It broke my heart."

That was 17 years ago, folks. Similar sad stories are still with us today.

Hayes didn't want to talk about the wonderful job he was doing in creating "good news stories. All he wanted to talk about is the hundreds and hundreds of kids that have fallen, and continue to fall, through the cracks - the 13-year-old girl he found hiding under the Reversing Falls bridge; the kids that slept in the car to avoid beatings from their father; the children he was called to get because their mother was lying unconscious on the floor with a needle stuck in her arm; the kids he sees with bruises and black eyes...

Do you need to know more about the rhyme and the reason?

I asked if it was OK to come by during activities to see first-hand the organization and structure at the Joshua Group. I soon discovered that the starvation many of these kids experience is emotional in nature. At The Joshua Group, someone cares for them, someone feeds their sense of value and worth, someone loves them and someone will listen to their problems and give them a hug.

I met one teen, now 13, who has been coming here for 10 years. He proudly told me that he got more than 90 on his math test and that someday he would like to go into politics or become a lawyer. Before long I found myself abandoning my "mature adult state" and was kicking the soccer ball with kids, big and small, in what could best be described as "caring chaos" in a place that truly feels like home for all the children.

Later, I asked Bobby Hayes how he feeds the 100 or so youngsters who walk through the group's doors several times a week.

"Donations from people and a few companies that see the need, from fundraisers and sometimes my own money," he said.

I asked if The Joshua Group received financial support from the various charitable organizations, or the City of Saint John.

He laughed.

"No, I was told by one charitable organization that we didn't fit or qualify, and they didn't like the way I ran things."

So, Bobby Hayes has been running a one-man, unofficial, non-certified "emotional emergency department" for the city's less fortunate kids for the past 17 years. All the children have his cellphone number and he's available for them on a 24/7 basis, 365 days per year.

I asked Bobby Hayes why he does it.

"When you see someone drowning," he said, "you reach down and save them."

This coming Sunday, while many of us are sitting in church singing hymns and praying for a better world, Bobby Hayes will be driving a donated school bus as he picks up children from all parts of the city. The kids will eat pancakes, cooked by a teenage volunteer. An 11-year-old will keep an eye on her little sister, as has been the case for years. After breakfast there will be a spiritual talk, art and games. Before Bobby Hayes drives the youngsters home, if there is time, he might read from the Bible about the Good Samaritan, or from Matthew: 25:35 - "For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home."

Perhaps it's time we asked ourselves exactly what qualifications are needed to save children who have fallen through the cracks. As a city and a community, where are our values and priorities?

Think about it.