Rising from the Ashes: How to Bounce Back After Life’s Setbacks

“Any man can win when things go his way, it’s the man who overcomes adversity that is the true champion.” - Jack Ewing

Adversity is a part of all our lives. It is a human condition. We can bury our head in the sand or face it and grow.  So, does this blog apply to you? Well, you either have recently been through adversity, you are in the midst of it, or you will have it foisted upon you.  We need to know how to recover and move ahead.

 I am in the biggest adversity era of my lifetime and began reflecting on incidents in my lifetime and their longtime effects. There have been many, as there are for each of us, but a few shaped me over my life.  My Mom died when I was 14 and surprisingly, I was a momma’s boy.  Then two weeks before college graduation my best friend drown.  In my work life I had a family I was responsible for and was terminated from a position where I was serving at the pleasure of the Governor.  Apparently, I was no longer pleasurable, or maybe it was because an executive I had terminated was put in as my boss. Then later I was out of town doing training and my dad passed away after a long illness. There has been many more, but these were transitional. 

I am sure many of you can identify with one or more on these events.  They do change and shape us. So, as you think back, how did you handle them, how should you have handled them, how do we get back on course? Life continues.

How does this subject intersect with interviewing whether from an investigation or audit perspective?  We face adversity as interviewers, and the interviewee often is facing adversity as they sit before us.  Our better understanding of adversity and resilience can be a very effective tool to motivate successful results of our interviewing in audits and investigations.

Recovering from major adversity is a difficult process, but it is an opportunity for growth and renewal. We need to have some knowledge and tools to engage in that renewal. Here are some proven strategies to help you get back on course:

1. Acceptance and Acknowledgment

• Embrace your emotions: It's natural to feel sad, angry, or frustrated. Acknowledging how you feel is the first step to healing.
• Accept the situation: Acceptance doesn’t mean you approve of the adversity, but it helps you move from focusing on "why" to "what now."  Move focus from the past to the future. You can’t plan for the past, but you can plan for the future.

2. Reframe Your Mindset

• Focus on what you can control: Shift your attention to areas where you have influence, rather than worrying about things beyond your control. Place your emphasis on those things you can address.
• See adversity as a lesson: Look for any personal growth or lessons that can come out of the situation, even if it’s difficult. What can you learn from the experience, how can that impact your future?

3. Create a Plan and Set Small Goals

• Break it down: Focus on small, manageable steps. This keeps you from feeling overwhelmed and helps you make progress bit by bit.  When you look at the whole pie, it can become too much to consume.  Take a piece at a time.
• Establish a new routine: Routine can help regain a sense of normalcy, giving you structure and purpose.  Oftentimes this requires a new routine, you may have to build it from scratch.  And depending on the old normal, this can be a difficult step.

4. Surround Yourself with Support

• Seek help: Don’t hesitate to lean on friends, family, or professionals for support. You don’t have to go through adversity alone, nor should you.  Consider unexpected areas where that support may come from, it may not be close to home.
• Be selective with your circle: Surround yourself with positive influences that encourage your growth and resilience.  Some close to you may respond with a negativity that won’t facilitate growth.  Minimize these contacts, you don’t owe them your time or energies.

“Adversity is always the partner of progress.” - John C. Maxwell

5. Practice Self-Care

• Prioritize your mental and physical health: Engage in activities that promote well-being, such as exercise, meditation, or journaling.  Dealing with this is a strength, not a weakness.  Embrace this exercise.
• Rest and recharge: Ensure you give yourself time to rest, both physically and mentally. Healing takes time, and overextending yourself can delay progress. After significant adversity, we are mentally and physically fatigued.

6. Cultivate Patience and Forgiveness

• Be kind to yourself: Understand that bouncing back from adversity isn’t instant. It’s okay to take your time to heal. Be prepared for “waves of grief,” there is an ebb and flow to recovery.
• Forgive yourself and others: Holding onto anger or regret can keep you stuck. Letting go of those emotions will free you to move forward.

7. Revisit Your Purpose

• Reassess your goals: Adversity often brings clarity. Reflect on your values and passions—are your old goals still aligned with who you are now, or were they misconceived?  This is a great time for change based on very good reasons.
• Redefine success: Success might look different after a major challenge, and that’s okay. Reevaluate what success means to you moving forward.

8. Celebrate Small Wins

• Recognize progress: Even small steps forward are victories. Acknowledging them boosts motivation and confidence. This is a marathon, not a sprint.
• Build momentum: Small successes accumulate, helping you regain control and momentum in your life. Please keep at it and keep track of them.

Ultimately, resilience is about adapting to change and building the mental strength to face future challenges. Give yourself grace, take it day by day, and trust that you will find your way back on course. If I look back, each of these have changed me, and hopefully have changed me in a positive way for future major adversity and daily life.

When you consider my main subject matter in interviewing be it investigations or audits, these lessons apply to our interviewing approach and to our understanding of the interviewee sitting in front of us. This understanding will benefit us in almost every aspect of life.

When it comes to processing and dealing with adversity to build resilience have you considered whether you are handling these effectively or not? Or do you care about preparing for this enough?  Do you plan for opportunities to understand fears and adversity during interviews in investigations and audit matters? If not, why not?  We always need to improve our understanding, empathy, and interviewing skills.

Anderson Investigative Associates is positioned to custom-tailor training to your specific needs.  If you have any questions or would like to discuss the above issues of adversity and resilience and how to handle it or any training need, please reach out.  Additional issues pertaining to interviewing, auditing, and investigations can be found in other blogs and videos that I have produced and are contained in most blocks of instruction that our company presents.

If you have additional questions, comments, or have an interviewing topic you would like me to address, give me a shout.  In the meantime, be well, stay safe out there, and deal with that adversity coming our way.….it can change many aspects of your life.

Mark A. Anderson

Director of Training and Development

Anderson Investigative Associates, llc

114 Loucks Avenue

Scottdale, PA 15683

manderson@andersoninvestigative.com

tel:912-571-6686

www.AndersonInvestigative.com

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