Romantically Involved @ Workplace (a Yes or a No Go)

Another topic of choice after a week of reading great articles here and there. Enjoy….

Romantically Involved @ Workplace (a Yes or a No Go)

Can you say no when Cupid strikes??? Hardly…. The heart wants what it wants. There’s no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that’s that. Your heart will automatically seem to be racing and pounding, your palms are all sweaty, and your appetite is gone (it will come back naturally… heheheh). Your first thought and your last thought before you sleep will still be the same and trying to change it is futile. Malay proverbs describe this symptom as “Siang terkenang-kenang, makan tak kenyang, tidur tak lena, mandi tak basah, berminyak tak licin”. If you are having this symptom and starting to feel it, gosh… you are love struck! Tak dosa pun untuk jatuh cinta. God created Adam and Eve for a reason… But I’m not taking your time to read about how to be in love. Pi cari sendiri cinta hati masing-masing ikut selera sendiri.

What I would like to emphasize is; what if, what should we do if met with such occasions; be it we get smitten by him/her at the office or to have people around us falling in love at the office. The situation is inevitable as most of us spend tremendous time at work rather than home. Savvy employers know that love is complicated. When romance is in the air at work, an employer may be faced with gossip, lovers' quarrels, and distracted employees. Even worse, this may lead to sexual harassment, retaliation, favoritism, and workplace violence. Waktu bercinta semua indah. Touch wood the relationship turns sour, sampai HR pun terlibat sama dengan cerita hal dalam kain. Hmmm…

To the Lovebirds…

Workplace environment needs us to collaborate and cooperate and in this environment two people may end up dating each other. If we find ourselves in romantic a relationship with someone within the company, take a step back and do some serious thinking and planning before getting involved seriously.

Be aware that both of you are at risks; a potential conflict of interest especially when making decision related to work and both parties’ professionalism may be called into question at some point whether we like it or not. Finding both professional and personal fulfillment at the office is risky. If something goes wrong at work, you could potentially lose everything at once. Make a conscious effort to nurture the relationship outside the company and not within working hours.

Understand the company’s policies or standpoint on dating in the workplace. Some companies have strict policies, especially against dating subordinates. Better to know the policy at heart as your career is at stake. Even if dating colleagues isn't prohibited at the company, keep your professional role in mind, and don't share confidential information during pillow talk.

Ask yourself on your real intention and how others will take it. Don’t pursue a coworker if you’re not serious about a relationship. Weigh the pros and cons and be clear on what we want to avoid unwanted dispute and misunderstandings should the romance doesn’t last long.

Talk through and openly what both of you’ll do if the relationship doesn’t work out. Do communicate openly with each other about the significant risk you’re taking. What should both of you do if you break up? Could you both stay at the company, or would it be necessary for one of you to find another position? If he or she is not meant to be the love of your life, try to remain the after-breakup relationship as professional as possible. If it is too awkward or painful to continue working alongside with the person, we may to consider leaving the job or at least transferring to another department.

Be professional. Set boundaries where we should avoid flaunting lovey-dovey act in public. Work is work. Personal is personal. Make it after or before working hours and not in the office.

In general, you don't need to alert your boss to the first date (keeping company policy in mind), but if you and your coworker do become an item, it's best to be open yet not too open to your manager and HR so it can be reviewed and addressed accordingly. Eventually, people will still figure it out, so keep the disclosure simple and straightforward. Different arrangement can and will be made especially if you're dating a superior to ensure that matters concerning conflicts of interest are being taken care of. Your HR might even ask you to sign a statement acknowledging the relationship to protects the company. Your work assignment might be changed as well, depending on the circumstances. Take it on the bright side, be ready and cooperative. Your openness will help to reduce rumors and claims of favoritism.

However, if things do get awkward at work or at home, working with a new employer can help reduce conflict and misunderstanding.

To Employers or HR particularly…

Employers should create an environment that is fair, consistent, and decisions are free from bias or the appearance of bias. Don't prohibit employees from dating one another even though many companies frown on colleagues dating and view it as an HR nightmare. Such prohibition is deemed by most to be invasive, inappropriate and unnecessary. It’s a free country by the way.

Romantic relationships at work can create such conflicts or appearance of conflicts and impact overall morale and productivity. Therefore, a clear policy should be in place on family and romantic relationships in the workplace. To HR folks, if you don't have one yet, get one. Examples can be found on the Internet, or you can ask around through your HR networking. Establish a rule that prohibits employees who are dating managers or supervisors from reporting directly to them. Encourage employees to disclose relationships of this nature and changes should be made in the reporting or organizational structure to avoid claims of favoritism or discrimination and other related risks. Employees should be required to acknowledge in writing the voluntariness of any such relationship. Each situation will be evaluated on a case-by-case basis.

List any jobs where romantic relationships could jeopardize the safety or integrity of employees and make the involved employees aware of those potential risks (the list is not exhaustive depending on the nature of business). For example, a human resource manager dating a department head could be perceived by others as a potential breach of confidentiality. Talk to employees about job expectations and consequences if performance falters for any reason.

Employment can still continue as long as it does not create cronyism at any level in the chain of command, create an adverse impact on work performance, create either an actual conflict of interest or the strong appearance of a conflict of interest, such as when the relative or significant other has access to confidential or proprietary information. If one of these scenarios should occur, changes on roles and the job assignment should be done to minimize the risk.  

If the alternative actions taken are not working well, the company has the sole discretion to make a final determination on the employment relationship based on applicable legislation. Do consult your legal team if termination is your best and suitable choice.

Keep in mind that office romances are not limited to coworkers. Your employees may also be dating your clients, vendors or even employees of your competitor. The dating policy should anticipate these situations. Make the policy known to all employees have them trained. It is important for the employees to know that they are protected and that managers are receptive to their concerns be it good or bad. Be sure your harassment policy includes a course of action for people who feel threatened or harassed on a personal level at work. Communicate these steps to employees and make it clear that sexual harassment should be reported and that it will not be tolerated.

Make it clear to employees that personal lives should be orchestrated outside of the workplace. Flirting or romantic overtures should not happen at work. Communicate your concerns to employees when their personal actions cause professional problems or questions. Allowing the romantic behavior in the office to persist causes strain, tension, and discomfort to other employees. It can also lead to complaints of favoritism and discrimination.

Personal problems between the couple are bound to happen and causing strain and difficulties with job assigned and may lead to claims of stalking even harassment. A public break-up could cause other employees to choose sides, creating tension for the whole office. Focus on employee job performance and not the personal issues no matter how we are annoyed listening to the gossip or witnessing to any soap opera incidents. Focus on creating a positive office environment for all employees. This includes developing an atmosphere of trust and respecting the private lives of employees.

Foster communication with your employees without judgment. Don't pry or question unless you notice performance problems. In many cases, disclosure of their dating relationship can help you create a more productive workplace while minimizing any conflict of interest.

As a HR practitioner, we bound to have met or heard of office romance now and then. Even I have encountered some too. We should know that such issue is not to discussed unless in necessary condition and the information shared should only be accessible to the authorized personnel only as people are counting on us (PDPA Act 2010 tau). Keep in mind we are under oath. A broken glass can't be repaired neither a broken trust.

Despite these rules and guidelines, office romances will still happen and it’s hard to blame colleagues for falling for each other. Still, it’s important for employees to be made aware of the policy made and the implications.

To the Colleagues and Bawang Rangers particularly…

Office gossip is often juicy. Gossip can provide us with a sense of bonding that we all lure, regardless of whether the conversation is positive or negative. It might even add some extra spice to witness the lovebirds sneak around trying to keep their relationship a secret. Hold your horse. Spreading rumors or unconfirmed news may be proven slander and backfire. Rumors can strain trust and respect between colleagues.  

It is best to contact Human Resources at the site to make them aware of the situation if you found that the relationship is affecting the work ethics, changes the team working dynamic and the harmony of the working environment.  If you do not feel comfortable bringing the issue to HR personnel, you may contact the ethics hotline anonymously if you think retaliations may be the outcome of your report.

If you get to know that your coworker relationship ends, it is a subject for them to handle personally as long as it does not affect the working environment. To take side is normal but refrain yourself from making inappropriate remarks openly as it has got nothing to do with you with whom your coworker is dating or should date.

Witnessing office romance can sometime make you feel unnerved as the relationship of coworker may become awkward to you and the rest of the team up to a point where you don’t know what’s appropriate anymore. Do voice out if you think bias decision has been made due to the relationship.

Everyone is accountable for their actions and behavior. Think again before condemning a romantic relationship found at your workplace. You are not in their shoe. Who knows that the cupid’s arrow may strikes you next. Who are we to judge how others lead their life? We are not perfect either. Before we start pointing fingers, make sure our hands are clean. Are we sure we are clean? Hmmmm…

Summary

Workplace romances may become messy, and we can see that problems coming if not being handled properly. Workplace romances lead to favoritism, and it led to loss in productivity when people choose not to behave accordingly, and biasness take place. Integrity is at stake. It is a need to have related policy in place for everyone benefit and assurance. Some might say they know a lot of people who met the love of their life from the workplace but not everyone is blessed with a happy ending like in the fairytale.

So, the policy will help employer to make review and assessment on how to address the relationship and the effect to the work related, whether it is critical and to set clear rules of the dos and don’ts. Although this policy does not prevent the development of friendships or romantic relationships between coworkers, employees should be reminded to maintain clear boundaries between personal and business interactions for the effectiveness business operations.

Individuals in supervisory or managerial roles and those with authority over others' terms and conditions of employment are subject to more stringent requirements under this policy due to their status as role models, their access to sensitive information, and their ability to affect the employment of individuals in subordinate positions. So, a yes or a no go? It is still a grey area which can be solved with clear guidelines from the employer, understood and adhered by employees.

See you again until next reading…

#Hugs&Kisses