Rudderless... and learning to love the unplanned view!

"It almost feels rudderless..."

Probably the single most relatable comment from a colleague, that I've heard in a long time, regarding what it feels like to navigate the 'middle' of our careers.

I've been talking with several peers lately, and this concept of "I made it - now what?" keeps popping up. Nothing will stop an ambitious person in their tracks more than realizing the fact that they have achieved what they set out to achieve and don't have their next goal on the horizon yet. I think the reason that so many of us feel lost in this phase of our careers is because we are programmed to navigate professional success through the lens of our predetermined professional goals.

Professional goals like: get into college, graduate, start a career, get an MBA, get promoted, and start a 'life' were my north stars for about as long as I can remember. My entire last decade was one of change, one that I navigated by chasing those exact goals, fueled by the desire to achieve each and every one of them. The formula has always been desire (goals) + drive (actions) = success. I used so much of my time hustling to get here, that I almost wasn't sure who I was when I arrived.

What happens when you finally find yourself living the life you've been working for? I am finding myself at the epitome of learning - almost the "hard way" - that life really is about the journey, not the destination; and it is important to take time for sitting in appreciation and gratitude of how far you've come. With a sole focus of arriving at my desired destination, the in between got lost. So there are 4 things I'm doing to explore this unplanned pit stop:

1. I'm learning to celebrate and enjoy the view. If you're here with me, let's all channel our best Elle Woods (#iykyk), and celebrate in unison, because "WE DID IT!" Let the dopamine settle in, look around and take note of what achieving your goals actually looks and feels like. Maybe even treat yourself to something that does nothing more than bring you joy. Remember, this is the life you wanted, take a moment to go live it!
2. I'm finding time to get curious and try new things. Time feels both (1) abundant, because I don't have it all allocated to specific goals; and (2) fleeting, because every day that goes by without intentional progress almost feels wasted. So, I'm trying new skills at the gym, taking new courses on MasterClass, listening to new audiobooks, and even redecorating in my home. The latter of which my partner is handling incredibly well, while I try different arrangements of every photo, on almost every wall of our place.
3. I'm creating an identity outside of work. This one was a doozy to realize I even needed to do. When people asked me what I was up to, too often I responded with "I work and I workout." I was taken aback when I realized that there wasn't a strong part of my self-identity that didn't have the word "work" in it. I've begun to refocus on other parts of my identity that make me more, well, me. I am a hard worker, yes, but I am also a loyal friend, a curious traveler, a gift-buying auntie, a coffee drinker, and question-asker; and I'm still getting to know myself.
4. I'm reflecting and setting new goals. I wouldn't be me if I didn't come back to the drawing board on what success will look like in the future. But doing this the right way for me means getting a little more reflective this time. No more chasing what I think success looks like, and a lot more of following my own journey, in my own time, at my own pace, and being ok with whatever that looks like going forward.

My desire and drive to achieve will always be a part of who I am. But this time, I'm looking at these goals with an entirely new point of view. Maybe I don't need so many, just the ones that will bring me joy (near term or long term); maybe they can include more than my professional persona; maybe I set a goal to just "be" for awhile. Whatever shape success looks like next, at least I'll know how to handle the negative space when the achievement inevitably arrives (we're manifesting here). So here's to continuing to bet on myself, getting to know myself, and growing with whatever version of me comes next!