The Rush, The Pain, The Addiction

The Break

I decided end of July that I needed to take a break, and I resigned and left my role as VP of Sales, Africa. In short, my business that I started back in 2013 was given a great opportunity to take a global leading SaaS product into the African market.

Over time, my business was absorbed into the global structure and while I no longer owned the business, I always treated it as it was still mine. Its something that is deeply engrained into an entrepreneur. We just built that way.

About the Break

So, my “break” started on the 1st of August and well that is what I wanted to share with you today.

The first 2 weeks were filled with a sense of relief and calm, where I just enjoyed the quiet and the chance to take deep breaths. We often forget how amazing it feels to take deep breaths. 😊

The Painful Break

I took this picture of myself (above) to remember that I would never feel like this again. I laugh about it now. 😁

Then week 3 came and this next stage was one that just hit me on the back of the head and hard.

I felt down, like down in the dumps and completely lost and had no idea why I was even around.

So, I journaled throughout the day to try and unpack what I was feeling and why I felt so down.

Doing this introspection, I began to understand what this was all about.

• I had been running my own business, building it, scaling it, dealing with new challenges and new opportunities every day for 11 years and then it was all over.
• What I learnt was that I felt like I had lost my identity. Who was I if I was not the founder of my business?
• Who was I without any responsibility of nurturing and growing my team.
• I felt like I had no purpose.
• The feeling of losing something that was such a big part of your life.
• And for 11 years I became addicted to the rush of it all, the pain of the downs and the addiction to the wins.
• So, without any of this, who am I now?
• I felt like I was nothing and really just invisible.

Founders who exit business really experience this

I am sharing this with you because when a founder exits a business they have built, this trauma and the bucket of consuming feeling is very common, and I wanted to talk about it so you can make sense of these feelings that hit you when you go through the same experience.

I felt like I was at ground zero with nothing and this feeling continued throughout the month of August.  I just wanted it to stop.

So, I decided to focus on what really matters to me now and I started writing down bits and pieces everyday hoping I could make some sense of it all.

Learning about myself (again)

I completed a master practitioner certification in NLP, not to coach others but to coach myself through this process. I would have a consultation with myself everyday which was part of the course itself.

 What matters to me

The one thing that remains constant for me is that I really find fulfilment in helping people who have problems to solve or things to fix. The more complex the problem the more exciting for me.

• I really don’t care much about titles.
• I love learning and growing. It helps me, help the people I get to work with stay ahead of the curve. I am a big thinker, but I love to execute and get things done so the change can unfold into something tangible.
• I just like being under the radar and getting on with things.
• I love building businesses, building teams, and scaling them.
• I really want to be more present in the moment and create my own happiness from within.
• I want the time to be with my family, friends and my dogs.
• I want my life to flow with ease.
• I do not want to live in a state of constant anxiety and stress.
• I am by nature a nurturer and really care about people.

Dealing with Rejection

I had applied for 3 roles and had some great interviews. I got the craziest feedback like,

• Our CEO does not want to hire you because he feels threatened by how much you know and can do, and you could put his job on the line. – I don’t want his job, been there done that 😊
• We don’t know where to place you, because you can do everything.

Ok stop. Enough of that because all that did for me was perpetuate that feeling of, I am not good enough.

But the truth is that when I did apply for these roles, I felt a huge sense of resistance because I was going back to do more of the same, more of what I was used too, and I did not want to be doing that anymore.

Doing something that matters to me

The first thing I did was setting up an online business where I could help people nurture and care for themselves.

I have lived with anxiety for 20 years and I have learnt how to manage it (not all the time) but for the most part I can get on top it very quickly but for those who live with anxiety, it impacts every aspect of your life, and you just can’t show up as the best version of yourself.

So, I started anxietytreatment.co.za

The focus here is not just to sell a product but to give people the opportunity to get advice and get educated on what to do to help them understand where anxiety comes from and how you can get the support you need, naturally. I am not against pharmaceuticals, but I am more in favor of natural approaches. We have an abundance of natural ways to provide relief from anxiety and I really believe it is important to treat your body like a treasure because we only get one.

Emerging

In September, I got to a point where I realized that I have always and still absolutely love unravelling the intricacies of sales and marketing and that is what I wanted to continue doing.

I worked hard at putting myself in a state of flow instead of trying to swim up the river against the current and I really believed that the next thing would find me and it did.

I also worked hard on accepting that I am worthy of receiving which I did not even realize was such a big barrier for me.

Gifts and Gifts

During this time, I got to have a long conversation with a very smart man who I had never met before, who told me to treat my break as a well-deserved gift. I will never forget that conversation. I learnt so much in that conversation.

Clarity on what my future would look like

I was very clear in what I wanted my next chapter to look like and in October my path crossed with an incredible business that works in the industry I know and has over 20 years in sales and marketing experience.

It was exactly I wanted to be part of, and I joined their team on the 1st of November.

What is so incredible about this is that although I specialized in digital marketing when I finished my online MBA a while ago, I had never had the opportunity to really dig into the detail and work in this space every day.

So today, I get to continue my passion of unravelling the intricacies of sales and marketing and I get to work with an incredible team where we can continue solving the problem that every B2B tech company has, and that is to increase revenue.

How amazing is that.

I am back

So, the revenue ramp up will kick off again in December as usual and I can’t wait to share some useful information to help you ramp up your revenue.

So I hope you will continue to subscribe to my newsletter and share your thoughts and input. It is always so appreciated.

Life is a blessing!

Take care and see you soon!