Sacred Journeys

The real awakening of Jim Mitchell started between 1988-1990 after the Universe had whacked me upside the head, heart, and soul hard enough to get my attention...it took a lot...I was hardheaded as blackfolkx say. Thought my life was ok. Not the best. But ok..Lawd was that a crock of shit! There had been episodic smaller awakenings since high school, but none formed a pattern or lead to much change. None of the teachings back then 'stuck' except in some deep, unconscious place I'd excavate later in live.Then the events of ’88-90 happened, and it was game on. Since those days, whatever else I've been doing with this life thingie, front and center has been the understanding that one of life's purposes, maybe THE purpose, is to see what I can learn about myself each day, each week, each month, each year. That my human ‘job’ is to learn. About myself. About others. To learn.The wakeup taught me, over time, to see ALL the 'stuff' of my life, relationships, choices, and actions as experiences that can teach me something...about me. If I’m willing to listen…and learn.That my life stuff could teach me about who I am, about who I most want to be, about what I want to be about, about how I want to use this magical gift of life before it all goes black...if, and that's a big IF, I'm willing to pay attention to the lessons trying to emerge, the questions trying to get my attention and get truthfully answered.That to learn I must have my feelings, however uncomfortable, about the stuff of my life, to get my ego out of the way and humble myself, and to understand in the being of my being that learning, growth, change, and evolution, however uncomfortable, is, in fact, my core human job. Period. Everything else comes after that.Some of the questions and lessons I learned with little resistance. Seems life had been painful enough by that point that I was ready to change. Willing even. Others lessons took years to learn as I fought them hammer and tong, bound and determined not to give up my status quo. Mostly out of fear. The absence of courage. The unknown me was terrifying to me. So I passionately defended the current me.Those behaviors, beliefs, and choices, both conscious and unconscious were familiar, whether they worked for me or not in my life. They were..known. Old friends. Old friends that never served me well but friends none the less. I felt...loyal to them. Giving them up felt like betrayal. No matter the pain it caused at times to stay the way I was. To not learn. Somehow changing felt like it would be worse.Truth be told, some of the lessons…I didn’t even recognize as lessons for a long, long time. Other stuff had to be changed and evolved first to create an opening for those deeper lessons to emerge. Somewhere early on in the story of me changing me, I learned seeking the answers that would accelerate my growth and learning worked a lot better, felt better, was better in the company of others also seeking the answers to their lives. To bear witness to their growth journey and have the honor of them bearing witness to mine…felt like…life itself.I had never felt anything like that space of deeply growing and learning with other humans anywhere in my prior life. Sometimes it was hard to believe it was happening…even as it was happening. I'd stare at myself and others in disbelief. It was…life giving.Next week, I turn 69. That journey of my own growth, learning, change, and evolution continues to this day. I’ve learned to embrace change for the betterment of my human with less fear and more courage. I’ve learned the best I can do with this life thing is to allow it to change me for the better. I’ve learned the value of Real Talk about Real Shit with people who love me and encourage me to growth and learn. I’ve learned what were totally abstract concepts like compassion, understanding, curiosity, generosity, emotional honesty, openness, vulnerability, and authenticity were in fact the creators of a conscious life. That truth to self about self was first and foremost. I’ve learned that the words coming across my vocal cords will determine whether I stay the same…or grow once more. It was true at the beginning in 1988 and it is true today. I’ve learned that the company of good people working on themselves is a salve…a medicine for my own heart, soul, and spirit. I’ve learned. As I approach my birthday, I recognize I have no idea how much longer I’ll be in the game of life. What I am sure of is I intend to persevere in my growth and evolution journey until it all goes black. That is the way.

Jim Mitchell, human approaching 69

August 30, 2023