Is it safe here?

Summary: In this post, I talk about my fear of posting my wins on social media and the cost of fear, and I give you and me a lil’ pep talk on why we shouldn’t be afraid anymore. As you read my words, I hope you’ll find some encouragement in what I’ve [courageously] shared.

“Is it safe here?” is a question I keep asking myself whenever I want to post something that resembles a win. I sigh as I process my following words, realising that my answer is weighty. Like a baker making a tiered cake, my reasons for ‘struggling’ to share my accomplishments are layered, but here are a few slices for you.

My reasons include ‘career hurt’ if there’s such a thing, perfectionism and the belief that what I have to share isn’t that ‘valuable’, and there’s my faith, which I’ll explain.

Let’s start there, my faith. I’m a Christian, and I absolutely love Jesus! Reading the Bible and discovering God’s goodness literally sustains and gets me through each day, including this post right now — *deep breath out* — so it’s important that I establish and clarify that my friendship with Jesus doesn’t cause me to fear; instead, it opens my creativity, my determination and my ability to write Nollywood-worthy fiction and share awe-inspiring life lessons. My faith spurred me to write this post when I’d much rather keep my business to myself. My faith pushes me to enter into uncertainty often, and quite frankly, it’s scary even though I know the experiences that lie ahead will be necessary for me (good or bad). This leads me to my next point.

“Career hurt” is a play on the popular phrase “Church hurt” used to describe the unfortunate incidents people have experienced within the context of the church (or a religious institution). It is a broad topic that I’m no expert on, but if anyone reading this has experienced this, I pray you one day get to enjoy genuine “Church love.” 

My “career hurt” experience was the most shocking and terrifying thing I had experienced. The worst part is that it started when I shared a creative win on a social media platform—my day of joy turned into months of anxious sorrow. As much as I hate to admit it, the experience scarred me. After utilising the block button 🤫, I unconsciously vowed never to share my wins so publicly again, and so far, I’ve kept this [crazy] promise.

That is, till today.

Again, my faith has a part to play in my sudden courage, and it also plays a role in how I unpacked my “career hurt” and now see my worth. These days I’m more convinced that not sharing my gifts, wins, and valuable failures is doing more harm than my “career hurt” ever did. A sad, sad shame, to be honest.

*Remembers she published A WHOLE BOOK last summer that she rarely shared. Shakes head in ‘Wow’. 🙄*

Mix this with my need to be perfect, and then we have a real problem. So, to the perfectionist reading this, please repeat after me, “Perfectionism will not cause the death of my dreams! Instead, I’ll be excellent at trying!”

*Shouts ‘AMEN’ in these LinkedIn streets. 🙌🏾👀🤭*

Perfectionism that prevents us from doing what we’ve been designed to do is HIGH-KEY self-sabotaging pride (on a Mariah Carey 5-octave range). I’ll also add that for me, it’s a lack of faith and trust that the LORD will make it work out. I mean, I have experience as proof that even when my work isn’t always presented perfectly, it’s still helpful to someone, and I learn a few lessons along the way. For example, I can’t count the times I’ve seen a typo in my newsletter after I’ve published it. Annoying? Yes! Perfect? No! But does it matter? No, it doesn’t. What matters most is when I know I’ve obeyed God by sending the newsletter and when someone sends me a message saying, “I needed this today.” Typo or not, the message is clear—someone’s life has been positively impacted, and most times, it’s mine.

*Looks intently for typos. 🕵🏾 *

We should be good (excellent) and what we do and produce, whether you’re a multifaceted storyteller like me, or you’re using your academic creativity to solve complex corporate problems, or if you’re the assistant/receptionist in an office. Whatever you’re doing, remember that trying excellently serves us a better reward than perfectionism.

In just a few weeks, I’ll get a chance to test the waters of posting wins with the publication of my second book. Honestly, my heart races at the thought, but this time from excitement, joyous nerves and confident hope that I’ll feel safe and comfortable sharing my accomplishments anywhere and everywhere because it’s the right thing to do.

So, for anyone reading this who can relate to the words I’ve strung together, hang in there, my friend—one step at a time and one day at a time. Show up and share your excellent (and not-so-excellent) attempts, and who knows how many people you’ll inspire to do something courageous because of what you shared.

That’s all from me. Will I post here anytime soon? Who knows, but if I do, it’ll be because it’s the right thing to do.

Peace, Love and all that Good stuff, init.

Signed, A Writer Finally Being Excellent at Trying, ✌🏾

Olayide M.