A September like no other: Parenting in a pandemic

This morning, I helped my three kids get ready for school. Backpack? Check! Homework? Check! Lunch? Check! Sanitizer? Check! Mask? Check! Back-up mask for when you lose the first? Oh boy… With a kiss and a wave I sent my three children off, feeling once again thankful for their chance to socialize and learn, but also like I was sending them into another battle with an unseen enemy.

This same scene is playing out in homes everywhere this month. As parents, we are used to dealing with the butterflies of the new school year… new routines, teachers, hopes and worries. But this is a year like no other, thanks to COVID-19. Whether kids are learning in person, remotely, or both, we’re learning to work and parent in yet another new normal. Many of us are sharing precious home-office space with a remote learner, crossing our fingers each day hoping that school safety protocols work, or taking on more responsibilities at home, often with a smaller circle of support than pre-pandemic. When we add work to this dynamic, finding some balance has never been so important.  

I’m trying to incorporate a few new things into my own personal and work toolkit as we handle our own wave of change at home. This includes:

1. Getting the kids to step up. Like many parents, my husband and I often find ourselves doing things that my kids can do. It’s just easier, it’s just faster, it’s not worth the fight, we tell ourselves. This September, we drew the line in our proverbial Canadian sand. My 11-year old is doing virtual cooking class after school – fun and a great life skill, but messy with lots of work, usually reserved for the adults! This year, we have put him in charge of everything from ensuring we have the ingredients, to prep and clean-up. And he has stepped up to the task! Well, mainly…  My twins are also expected to do their homework as soon as they get home, without the usual cajoling and tears. I am hoping that these changes will give us time back and give them the ‘gift’ of more independence.
2. Being okay with less than perfect. For some of us, letting go of the little things is a constant work in progress. When the pandemic hit, I decided I would allow myself to ease off my high expectations on things where it didn’t matter to anyone but me. A little more clutter around the house? No one’s visiting us anyhow! Kids’ hair more shaggy than usual for school pictures? It’ll be a memory one day! Kids loud when I’m on a video call? Part of life! I keep high expectations where they matter, and am working on going easier where they don’t.
3. Recognizing the “silent plates” of others. As our family has kept its own plates spinning in this period, I’ve tried to harness that experience to think about situations of others. That colleague who was challenging on the video call? That client who seems unusually distant? Perhaps they just have many silent plates spinning in the background. Silent plates we don’t always see, but they spin nonetheless. I am trying to use my own experience to consider that others have their own sets of silent spinning plates, and to foster an environment where these plates can be more out in the open and recognized than they were pre-pandemic.

It’s times like these when we all can draw inspiration from those around us. We are all working through new challenges, and sharing tips and little ideas can be inspiration that will help all of us balancing the blend of work and life. It would be great to hear yours as well.