Seven resolutions that will help you in Silicon Valley

Welcome to 2016! New Year’s is one of my favorite holidays. Not just because I get to throw back some bubbly with my friends and family, but because it’s the time when I take stock, and think about my personal success plan and set new goals. I have said a lot of this before, but being  in technology has its unique challenges, so I spend a lot of time thinking about how I can help myself — and all the great women at my company — continue to grow and move ahead.  Here are 7 of my resolutions. Take a look and see what you can add to your own list:

Think differently. When I was growing up it wasn’t cool for girls to be good at numbers. So when I had the opportunity to learn to code I didn’t take it. That was something boys did. We need to change this way of thinking, and we need to change it now! Push yourself to learn new technologies and skills.  And mothers of girls, help them grab that opportunity with both hands.

Focus on personal branding. To be successful, you need to position yourself for it. Think about what you want to be known for in your career, and market yourself correctly to achieve your goals. I’ve written about this in detail before. A mentor can give you valuable insight and feedback to help. Networking can help you build an army of champions that have your back. And participating in conversations about timely issues and trends, through your company blog or posting here on LinkedIn, can help you build a profile and share your point-of-view with the outside world.

Ask for more.  The old stereotype is that men are more focused on demonstrating power and expertise and women are more focused on building relationships. Focusing on relationships may be more powerful in the long run, but it’s killing you at the negotiating table. When I offer a salary, women typically say “thank you” — but men ask for more money. Women, you need to start asking for more too.

Help others. There’s a misconception that there are only a few executive positions for women and if you want one you have to knock someone else out to get it. No, no, no! You aren’t competing against each other. You don’t need to take from someone else to be successful. Women at the top, don’t be threatened. Give each other good advice. Mentor other women a little more. Have their back and they’ll have yours.

Be nice to your partner. Women are never going to be able to grow in the workplace without support from our partners, so be nice to the person who is backing you — especially if they are staying home to do it.  Work in the home is every bit as important as work in the business world. Show gratitude for what they do — it’s not hard to say “thank you.” Especially if your partner who is staying home is a man. He’s fighting a stereotype and that takes a lot of courage.

Make it count.  You can’t do it all. Do the things that matter and outsource or delegate the rest. This applies to both your professional and your personal lives. At work you need to prioritize projects that innovate, not iterate. Nobody built a market or a career by doing the same thing over and over again. You need to have the same ruthlessness at home. Reading with your kids at bedtime is more important than making sure all the laundry is perfectly folded.

Scare yourself.  I challenge every woman who is reading this article to try to do at least one thing in 2016 that scares the crap out of you. Especially if you are choosing between two paths. Take the one that terrifies you. Every meaningful choice that I’ve made in my life was the harder one. Going to the Peace Corps. Starting at Salesforce when I had a new baby. Taking my new job at Desk.com. They were frightening and intense, but they’ve all paid off for me in a big way.