Shake That Guilt for Feeling Good In a Global Crisis

Do’s and don’ts for navigating the emotional minefield of COVID-19

Amongst all the change brought on by the pandemic, concern for our loved ones and income stability; it’s no wonder so many people are experiencing anxiety, stress, and to a large extent, grief for the life that we expected to continue as normal.

With the mass disruption, and collective discomfort, what if you actually find yourself feeling somewhat (dare I say it)… happy?

It can be uncomfortable to admit that you feel good. Even at the best of times, it can often feel like you need to downplay your joy for fear of being seen as conceited. But it may feel even more distasteful when those you love just can’t seem to catch a break, and are feeling the toll of pervasive fear and frustration.

But we’re here to tell you, its ok to feel good. Yes, even in spite of what’s going on. Here are some do’s and don’ts for those of you who’s emotions may feel a little out of place right now.

Do

 1)   Pause for gratitude

 As we’ve already established, this is a hard time for many. To feel good is not something to feel ashamed of, its something to be grateful for. That in all of this, you have the gift of having found a perspective that serves you.

 2)   Remember, it’s a journey

 Its not a given that today you feel good, and that’s that. You know as well as anyone that emotions are not static. Today you could feel like you could conquer the world, and tomorrow it feels like its all come crashing down. Take each day, and each emotion as it comes, without judgement. Some emotions are more pleasant than others. Enjoy the moment, and maybe journal your reasons to be happy, to save for a more testing day.

3)   Know that it’s your superpower

 Positivity, real positivity, has many benefits to the individual. You are more productive and open. Better at problem solving, and more compassionate. Even your immunity gets a boost. They saying goes, ‘you’ve got to put your own oxygen mask on first’. We know that when people look after themselves, they can better look after others. Know that maintaining your mindset is an act of care for yourself, and your best chance of helping others.

Don’t

 1)  Pretend you are unhappier than you truly are

When it comes to feelings, authenticity is the name of the game. You don’t have to shout about your unexpected happiness, but nor do you have to find something to complain about to fit in. A simple, ‘I’m actually doing ok thanks’ actually allows those that have plenty on their mind to free themselves about worrying from you, and also helps prevent the negativity cycle from deepening.

2)   Suggest that others think or feel differently

Some mindsets are more helpful than others in adapting to change. But you cannot make someone move into that forward state that is not ready. You may be keen to help someone feel better, but everyone has a right to experience their emotions just as they are. And maybe counterintuitively, actually exploring the uncomfortable feeling with them, and accepting it, could actually help them release it quicker. But don’t rush, just give space to what’s there now.

3)   Forget to be mindful about how you talk to yourself

When those voices creep in that say ‘Why you? What did you do to deserve to breeze through this?’ or ‘Well its ok for you, you are safe whilst people are out there on the front lines, risking their lives’, its important to stop and think, ‘How is this thought serving me?’. Critical thoughts can spur us to take positive actions sometimes, but more often than not, its rumination that robs our joy and takes up valuable mental real-estate. Reconnect to that sense of gratitude, and let that be your driver to support those that may have it harder than you.

So, now we have you convinced that its time to shake that guilt, how will you use your powers for good today?

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This article was originally produced by Lorna King for Goodness, on behalf of Women Who Want More - UAE