Snakes and Leaders

I’m sure you are wondering, who is this guy who tried to pull a fast one on Vladimir Putin? Naam to uska kabhi suna nahin. Yevgeny Prigozhin. A man who operated in the shadows, all of a sudden in the limelight. Like all such men, he had a unique talent. The ability to befriend people in high places.

It is a skill which only a favoured few possess. Imagine a regular human in the presence of a President or a film star, shaking with nervousness/ excitement. Wondering, is it okay to ask for an autograph? Now imagine someone who's cool as a cucumber. Astutely observing the target, thinking isko kis tarah pataana hai.

Back in the day, Prigozhin was the brain behind a fancy floating restaurant in St Petersburg – ‘New Island’. When he became President, Putin brought guests like Jacques Chirac and George Bush to dine there. Prigozhin personally served his high-profile guests and charmed Mr me-so-strong-me-no-smile’s socks off.

After all, even ‘big people’ are human beings. Perhaps even more needy than the rest of us. In their quest for power, they often alienate family and friends. So, I mean, who can a President sit down and just drink a vodka with? No one better than a man who’s ruthless and ambitious, and yet willing to defer to him.

Prigozhin received millions, and then billions, by way of contracts from the Russian government. I imagine he was an unpaid therapist (‘bolo, main sun raha hoon’) and a sneaky strategist (‘aise bhi to kar sakte hain’). Aisa included raising an army of mercenaries who could help ‘Papa’ fulfil his global ambitions.

But who would be willing to fight in wars with high chances of death, just for some money? People who were condemned already. Close to 40,000 prisoners from Russian jails were enticed by Prigozhin with a simple promise: if you survive 6 months, you win your freedom. Now who could refuse an offer like that?

Incidentally, in the ‘80s, Prigozhin had spent 9 years in prison for various petty crimes. He was a role model, someone the convicts could ‘believe in’. Yep, kisi ka gobar, kisi ka face pack. Well, most of the fighters died before they tasted true freedom but they did get a few weeks of sun, wind, sex and alcohol.

All was going well until Putin botched up the 4-day conquest of Ukraine. And Prigozhin lost respect for Papaji. Turning him into an ‘aasteen ka saanp’. The point to note is that a snake is a snake is a snake. So all netas who’ve cultivated these creatures up their sleeves have eventually been bitten badly.

 Indira Gandhi and Jarnail Singh Bhrindanwale. Peeth peechey, haath kaaley.

The Americans and Osama Bin Laden. Cultivated carefully in the CIA garden.

Paida humne kiya. Poora fayda liya. Phir chillaye ‘dhokha diya’.

Hai to sab drama, miyaan. More to come...