Spring Cleaning: 5 Obstacles To Decluttering
I started a massive decluttering effort a few months ago. We were getting ready to finish our basement, and everything in it had to go somewhere else. This meant renting a storage unit and decluttering and reorganizing the garage and every closet or storage space in my house. Soon, it will be time to find a permanent home for all our displaced belongings. I have always enjoyed decluttering and organizing. Over the years, I have picked up all kinds of tips and tricks that help me take care of my space and my stuff. But my favorite strategies are the ones that help me eliminate clutter by getting rid of stuff.
Why I Declutter
I love the idea of filling my life and home with things that I truly love. I want to walk into any room in my home and love what I see. I also want to feel proud, relaxed and inspired. Now of course, you need certain things that are useful, even if you don’t exactly love them. But I try to limit my belongings to just those 2 categories: things I truly love or things I truly need. I also live by the principle that “less is more”. I don’t consider myself a minimalist, but I do have less stuff than a lot of people. When you have less stuff, it’s easier to find a place for everything and keep your home tidy, organized and clean. And when you have less, you spend less time dealing with your stuff and have more time for the things you really want to do.
So, when I declutter, I first remind myself that I want to create a space I love, that feels relaxing, inspires me, and requires minimal time, energy, and effort to maintain. This is my goal and to achieve it, I must get rid of things from time to time. Getting rid of stuff really comes down to being able to let go. Sometimes it’s easy to do that, if something is broken or no longer works, or it’s moldy, disgusting or covered in mouse poop (true story). But more often, we find it difficult to let go of our stuff. The real work of decluttering is about addressing the things that make it hard to let go and get rid of something. There are 5 common obstacles I encounter when I want to get rid of stuff. Fortunately, I have developed strategies for dealing with each of them.
Obstacle #1 Pretending to be confused
Can you think of something in your home that you don’t really need or want, but you just don’t know what to do with it. So, it stays right where it is as days, weeks, months, or years go by. Or maybe you have an entire closet, room, attic, or basement that needs decluttering but you’re so overwhelmed, you don’t even know where to start. Most of the time, this pretend confusion is just an excuse to avoid dealing with the problem.
There are only so many options for what we can do with our stuff- keep it, trash it, donate it, sell it, or pay someone to come take it away. That’s about it. And you can start anywhere. Just do one thing and then do another thing and so on. Basically, you just decide to get started and then you decide what to do. When you force yourself to decide to keep or get rid of something, you will uncover the real reason you haven’t gotten rid of it already. Then you can stop pretending you don’t know what to do and address the next obstacle standing in the way between you and a decluttered space.
Obstacle #2 Attachment to the past
I prefer to live in a space that reflects what I love about my current life and inspires me toward my future. Surrounding yourself with things that represent your past, can keep you stuck there. But we do this all the time because these items are special to us. What that really means is when you look at something, you have a thought about it that makes you feel a pleasant or positive emotion like love or joy. Whether it’s something from your childhood, a family heirloom passed down through generations, a souvenir you picked up on a special trip or your child’s first lock of hair, we all have treasured objects from another time in our lives. There’s nothing wrong with keeping things that have sentimental value. But we tend to fill our spaces up with such objects.
To me, the word special implies limited. It’s a title that I bestow on only a few items. I also believe that special objects should be given a place of honor in my home, not stuffed in a box in a closet or attic or basement, rarely to be seen, for all eternity. It’s important to see and touch and engage with these objects from time to time. This way, you can ask yourself if the object is still special to you. Do you still get that warm and fuzzy feeling when you think of it? If the answer is yes, then treat it with the honor it deserves. If not, ask yourself what is keeping you from getting rid of it or passing it on. Chances are it’s one of the other obstacles below, so stay tuned. If something was special to us once, but it no longer holds that distinction, it’s okay to let it go. And if you find that everything is special, consider what you want for your home and life. Do you want to be surrounded and possibly overwhelmed by your past? Or would you like to create a little more space for your present life and your dreams for the future?
Obstacle #3 Fear about the future
When I decide to get rid of something, I often find that I’m afraid I might change my mind and want or need it again in the future. This just happened recently. After weeks of indecision, I finally decided to get rid of one of my son’s many ride-along cars, because he almost never played with it. Then, a month or two later, we were outside, and my son asked to ride THAT car. But you know what? It was no big deal. I told him we didn’t have it anymore. He had some questions and then he decided to play with something else. As another example, my mother is always giving us stuff including things I don’t really need or want. I want to get rid of those things, but I am afraid she will be upset if I do that.
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It's okay (and normal) to have this kind of fear when getting rid of things. This is just your brain trying to look out for you. Go ahead and acknowledge your fear and identify what you’re afraid might happen. Then question it. Turns out, we really didn’t need that toy car after all. Life was just fine without it. And that’s almost always how it is. And I don’t actually know if my mother will be upset if I get rid of something she gave me. She may not care at all. Finally, ask yourself if you are willing to risk what might happen, to achieve what you know will happen when you declutter your space.
Obstacle #4 What you are making it mean
We attach all kinds of meaning to our belongings and to our decisions about what we do with them. My husband used to have dozens of boxes of toys, papers, and memorabilia from his childhood. I helped him slowly work through these boxes, but it was difficult for him. At one point, he accused me of pressuring him to “throw away his childhood.” Getting rid of a box of items from your childhood doesn’t mean you are putting your childhood in the trash. Your childhood does not exist in some cardboard box or plastic bin or cedar chest. Your childhood only exists now, in the past and in your memory. And the good news is that it exists there forever. No one can ever take it away from you, for better or worse.
Maybe you think that returning a gift someone gave you, means you don’t appreciate that a gift was given. Or donating a brand-new piece of clothing you have never worn, means you are wasteful. Look at your clutter and ask yourself what each item means to you and what it would mean if you kept it or got rid of it. We have 100% control over what meaning we attach to our belonging and what we make it mean if we decide to get rid of something. It could mean absolutely nothing. Or it could mean that you are someone who takes pride in your space. It could mean that you want to ensure that someone else gets to enjoy an object just as much as you did. Shifting your thinking around an objects purpose and what it means to let it go or pass it on, can move you closer to a decluttered space.
Obstacle #5 Desire for comfort now vs comfort later
Ultimately, we struggle to let go of things from a fear of experiencing some kind of unpleasant emotion or emotional pain. This could be the pain of taking action and making a definitive decision, the pain of letting go of a special object we feel attached to or the pain of getting rid of something that we later decide we needed. It could be the pain we create with our thoughts and beliefs about our belongings and what we should or shouldn’t do with them. For me, there is also a certain amount of discomfort involved in the physical act of getting rid of things. It’s a pain to drop off loads of donations. It’s one more thing to add to my to-do list. Consignment is even more difficult since it may involve making an appointment.
It's completely normal for your brain to prefer to be comfortable right now rather than endure discomfort now so you can have comfort at some point in the future. You must decide if you are willing to experience some discomfort now, to achieve your decluttering goals and the long-term emotional comfort of an uncluttered home. At the end of the day, all emotional pain is created by your thinking. So, you could choose to shift your thinking. Or you could choose to accept and allow any discomfort that comes up, as the price you pay for a tidy and uncluttered home. I find it much easier to go that route.
At the end of the day, there are just a few key principles and strategies I use for decluttering:
1. Keep and have only what you truly love or truly need.
2. Less is More.
3. No confusion allowed, only decisions.
4. Acknowledge why you are reluctant to let go. What is getting in the way?
5. Focus on your long-term goal and decide what you are willing to feel, to get what you want.
I know your time is valuable so, I want to thank you for stopping by to read my article. If you enjoyed it, please Like, Comment or Share. And be sure to check out my other articles...Natalya