What Matters This October: Sasha's Story Around Pink

Our lives go by, oblivious to many meaningful simple things that matter. Then a passionate person comes along and you learn something profound. That happened to me this October. What I learnt is encapsulated in a story. The passionate person who inspired me to write this story is in closing credits.

Sasha's Context

Sasha kept the book down by Dan Ariely, Prof. at MIT. A story Dr. Dan shared in his book was gnawing her in the back of her mind. 

Before his MIT days, Dan had a fire accident that led him to recuperate in the burn unit. He found the removal of bandages painful. The nurses assured him that the quick yank of the bandages was in his best interest. He coaxed one willing nurse to go slow and the reduced intensity of the pain made it more bearable than the fast removal. His research after he left the hospital validated his hypothesis. The well-meaning nurses were wrong in their assumption that removing bandages quickly was in the best interest of burn patients.

 Connecting the Dots
 Sasha was connecting this story with her own experience. Breast cancer had affected many in her family. She embraced the pink ribbon with zest and zeal that few could match. She was there for the breast cancer fundraisers, community walks, cajoling friends and family to be there in person with contributions.

In her genuine pursuit, a thought occurred to her. Am I like the majority of the well-meaning nurses? Am I making my own assumptions about what cancer patients really want?

 She stepped back a moment to ponder. That one nurse who intently and genuinely listened to Dan inspired her.

 Sasha pieced together parts of conversation that came flooding back. Her mom, in one of those tender moments of candor, clasped her hands around Sasha’s wrist, looked at all the pink around and added –“Pink is the color of vibrancy, feel good and nurture. It brought me memories of my childhood. Yet in these moments of despair, pink symbolizes the burden of expectations on the terminally ill to show a façade of bravery, valor and hope. Just being yourself seems a tall order in this world of pink.”

 The meaning of her mom’s words started to dawn on her. She voraciously read what bloggers with breast cancer had to say. The following story from a mum with cancer caught her eye. It seemed to echo her mom’s words.

“We need to get back to basics with all this cancer fundraising and look at the faces of the people needing help and needing it now. The mother sitting in chemo with stage 4 who has had to catch a bus to the hospital with her child playing at her feet, who then needs to go pick up her other kids from school, go home and cook and care for her family. She still has to clean her house, arrange her children’s lives, care for her partner and does most of this alone.”

 Sasha pushed back in her chair. This story was in complete contrast to the cult marketing stories around pink ribbons she grew up assuming - emotional upheaval ultimately leading to triumph and happiness.

 Sasha had always felt good about being part of a huge community that bonds together to raise awareness about breast cancer. Yet the subtext of what she read from cancer patients was clear - they wanted their own community that understands their own frailty, without the pressure to put on a façade of bravery and cheerfulness! They yearned for solidarity of a different kind – an environment to bond with fellow patients, to form a community few truly understood but everyone apparently empathized.

 Sasha had all along thought she was an insider, only to learn how off base she was from truly understanding their needs. Now, the one question on her mind –“how can I help in ways that really matter?” The universal answer from the cancer bloggers and her one on one private conversation with patients shaped her thoughts.

 Pink ribbons have made their way into social consciousness from the early days in 1990’s. 25 years since, the awareness has grown but not the breakthroughs.

When she intently listened, in the hearts of all of them, they (cancer patients) want less drama of pink ribbons and more outcome. An outcome of cure. They wanted more money poured into actual research. They want the generation next to find ways to break free.

Sasha learnt with dismay that 16% of the money raised through the marketing magic of pink ribbons was actually used for research!

From Sasha to Us

 Just like Sasha, we all want to meaningfully contribute in life. Here is a one way to ensure less pizzazz and more outcome. Before we partake in the pink contributions, pull up your smart phone, google the charity within Charitynavigator.com. Those 2 minutes may be some of your most meaningful #BeProductive moments by leveraging technology.

 Let this October dawn a new area. Let us aspire to listen like the nurse who made a difference- by listening intently to the patients without assuming what is best for the patient’s pain.

The world would be better for what you chose to thoughtfully do – real faces, real help and authenticity that your action made a real difference.

Please share your experiences in the comments section. Please share as you deem fit through your social channels. 

---my sincere thanks 

Thank you Tiffani Hollis for opening my eyes to another world on what truly matters. Your endeavor to bring great causes to the attention of mid size businesses is very endearing.