Suffering from Imposter Syndrome?
"The purpose of life is to find your gifts. The meaning is to give them away." - Pablo Picasso
"Have you ever wanted to do something, but thought, "Who am I to do this? What if it's no good?" If so, you're not alone. Some people call this the Imposter Syndrome. We have something we want to create, contribute, make or launch, and we hope it might add value, but we're not sure. Our doubts hold us back and we put our project aside.
If you're dealing with those doubts, you might find this story of Jana Wolff inspiring.
As Emcee of the Maui Writers Conference, I walked the beach each morning to rehearse that day's introductions. One day, I saw a woman sitting on the beach by herself, crying. I went over and asked, "Are you okay?"
She said, "No, I'm not okay. I don't belong here."
"Why do you say that?"
“Who am I to write a book? I don’t have a Ph.D. I'm not perfect. It’s like I'm putting myself up on a pedestal and saying I'm an expert when I'm not. That feels so arrogant. I just don't know if I should do it.”
“Hmmm. What do you want to write about?”
“My husband and I adopted a child, and it’s been more challenging than we anticipated. I went to the library to try to find a book that could help, but they al had these ‘Pollyanna’ messages about what a blessing and joy it is. They made me feel guiltier. I want to write the book I need I can’t find.”
“What’s an example of what you want to write about?”
“I want to write about the things many adoptive parents are too embarrassed to admit. Like the time Ari was three years old and I fixed spaghetti for dinner. He reached across the table, picked up a handful of spaghetti and threw it in my face. My first thought was, ‘MY son would never have done that.' I want to share the shame I felt that a thought like that would even occur to me.”
“What else?”
“I want to write that, even though it's hard, when it’s time to send pictures of Ari to his birth mother, I still edit out the cute ones because I live in daily fear she’s going to change her mind and want him back.”
I said, “Jana, the question to ask isn't "Who am I to do this?" The question to ask is "Will someone reading MY book benefit?"
If your work might inspire or enlighten others, then not only do you have a right to write, you have a responsibility to write.
Have you ever thought about it that way? Ideas in your head help no one. If your work might resonate with - and make a difference for - even one person, then turn those doubts into determination to share your gifts with the world.”
Jana Wolff did write that book and it's been out in the world for more than 20 years now. You might want to go to Amazon and check out Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother. It has made a difference for thousands of parents around the world. In fact, not a week goes by that Jana doesn’t hear from someone who emails to say, “I thought I was the only one.”
Do you have stories and insights you want to share? A business you want to start? Artistic ability you want to explore?
Please understand, your work doesn't do anyone any good sitting in your head. If your creative contribution might make people feel a little less alone, little happier, a little healthier, a little better off, then you don't just have the right to get this out in the world, you have a responsibility to get this out in the world
You will never be sorry you contributed your gifts to the world, you will only be sorry you didn't contribute them sooner.
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Sam Horn is the CEO of the Intrigue Agency. Her 3 TEDx talks and 9 books have been featured in NY Times, on NPR, and presented to Intel, Cisco, Capital One, NASA, YPO. Want more encouragement from Sam on how to get your work into the world? Click here.