Surviving Teenagers: A Dad's Guide from the Trenches

Ah, teenagers. Those delightful creatures who inhabit your house, eat your food, and occasionally remember to grunt in your direction. Normally, the Business Survival Guide is about helping your business grow. But a stable home life can lead to a more productive work life so we try and bring insights into ALL aspects of your life, not just business. In honor of graduation season for many young adults, I thought it would be a good time to share some tips and tricks to navigating this wild and woolly time in your life.

As a dad of four grown children, including twin 20-year-old daughters and 18-year-old stepbrothers, I’ve learned a thing or two about surviving the teen years.

The Food Situation:

Forget about having a stocked fridge. If you think you’ve bought enough groceries for the week, think again. Teenagers, particularly athletes like my football captain son Jake, can devour an entire pantry’s worth of food in one sitting. I’ve watched in horror as my carefully prepared dinners vanished like magic before my eyes.

Pro tip: Learn to hide snacks in creative places. The back of the vegetable crisper is a good spot—they’ll never look there. Also, investing in a second or mini fridge for your own stash of treats isn’t the worst idea.

Communication

Getting a teenager to talk is like trying to extract water from a stone. Conversations are often reduced to monosyllabic responses: “How was your day?” “Fine.” “What did you do?” “Stuff.” After years of interrogation techniques that would make the CIA proud, I’ve discovered the secret: text them. Yes, you live in the same house, but a text message has a miraculous way of eliciting a response. Another pro tip?

Be patient: You may go months without a real conversation then, suddenly, on a random Tuesday evening crossing each other in the kitchen at 10pm, they will suddenly open up and want to talk about something. Be prepared for these moments, drop whatever you are doing and give them all the time they want or need. Wait for those magic moments, they will come!

The Laundry Pile

You might think you’ve seen laundry piles before, but nothing compares to the laundry generated by teenagers. My twins alone could start their own fabric recycling business. Towels, socks, and random pieces of clothing are everywhere. The best strategy? Learn to love the chaos. Or better yet, teach them to do their own laundry. It’s a life skill and will save you from drowning in dirty clothes.

The Bathroom Battle

Ah, the shared bathroom. If you’ve got teenage daughters, you know the struggle. The bathroom becomes a war zone, with makeup, hair products, and mysterious lotions and potions covering every surface. And the shower? Don’t expect to get in there for at least an hour after they’ve finished. The only solution is to install a timer on the bathroom door or resign yourself to using the guest bathroom.

The Social Life Juggle

Teenagers are social creatures. If you are lucky, your house will become Grand Central Station. There will be friends over all the time, impromptu sleepovers, and constant coming and going. Accept it. Embrace it. Remember, it’s better to have them under your roof where you can keep an eye on them (and their friends). Plus, it gives you the perfect excuse to be the “cool” parent who makes epic snack platters.

The Romantic Drama

Dating. It’s going to happen. You can imaging how my twin daughters brought home a parade of potential suitors, each more impressive than the last. They had to go through some stinkers to get to the responsible young men that they are dating now as Juniors in college. And the stepbrothers? Don’t get me started. The key is to be supportive but firm. Establish ground rules, keep an open line of communication, and resist the urge to post embarrassing baby photos on social media to scare off potential suitors. Also, be prepared to provide a shoulder to cry on when the inevitable break up comes. A broken heart sucks but nothing it worst than your first failed relationship.

The School Struggle

Keeping up with academic lives is a full-time job. Between homework, projects, and trying to remember if it’s an A-day or B-day, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Stay organized with a family calendar and set reminders. And if all else fails, bribe them with the promise of their favorite meal or a “Good grade bonus” if they can keep their grades up. It’s amazing what a little cash incentive can do.

The Independence Battle

Teenagers want independence but still need guidance. It’s a delicate balance. My advice? Pick your battles. Does it really matter if they want to dye their hair purple? Focus on the big stuff—like driving safely and making good choices. And remember, sometimes you have to let them make mistakes so they can learn from them. I like to use the phrase “let them fail, gently.”

The Moments of Joy

Despite the challenges, there are moments of pure joy. The laughter, the inside jokes, and the pride you feel when they achieve something significant. My twins and boys have provided countless memories that I wouldn’t trade for anything. So, savor the good times and remember that this too shall pass.

Final Thoughts

Surviving teenagers is no easy feat, but it’s also one of the most rewarding experiences of your life. You’ll learn patience, negotiation, and how to keep a straight face when you want to burst out laughing or scream in frustration. Embrace the chaos, love them fiercely, and remember—you were a teenager once too. If you managed to survive, so will they. And one day, when they have teenagers of their own, you can sit back, smile, and say, “Now you know what I went through.”

Good luck, fellow parents. You’ve got this!

Andy