The Synergy of Opposites, Say What Now?

Two things can be true at one time. Opposites. Spectrums. Venn diagrams. Polarizing. Yin yang. Binary. Contradictory. Dichotomy. Complementary. Synergistic. 

Being able to create clean lines feels good to us mentally. It is easily understandable to say night and day are opposites, and there is no grey in between. Of course, that means sacrificing dawn and dusk, arguably two of the loveliest times of day. Yet, there is a power in opposites. 

A while ago, I was taught – incorrectly – that strength and flexibility are opposites. And while there's a correlation, you can certainly be both strong and flexible. If my hamstrings are tight, does that mean my quads are weak? Not necessarily. The more you strengthen the parts of your body that you want to open, the more actively you can control that openness.

In yoga, this inclination towards tidy opposites can translate to a lot of cues like “repeat on the other side to even out” or a “counter pose.” When I teach a movement practice to my corporate team, I consider things like opening up the parts of our body that are crunched over during the workday. Sometimes that means heart openers to counteract the hunched and rounded backs. Sometimes it means standing balance flows to strengthen the hip flexors you’re working to sit up straight in a chair. 

Defining things in contrast or in the negative to something else is a helpful exercise, but letting go of the rigid boundaries can help you to explore impactful nuances. This dichotomy is in our lives, and in our workdays as well. You might feel like there's maybe something that you're struggling with, a conflict or a difference of opinion. Maybe a meeting you don't want to go to today. How can you soften into that? How can you embrace that perhaps both sides of a debate are true?

Here are 3 tips for accepting the space between opposites:

1. Notice. The first step is to begin noticing when you are clenching or tightening your thinking to an oversimplified set of two options, and two options only, entirely mutually exclusive. Can you tell by the words you are using? The physical feeling in your body? Is your body asking you to repeat a flow on the other side, or is your mind?
2. And for Or. If you think something is in opposition, try substituting an And where you’d have an Or. Instead of Sarah is right or Ben is right, try Sarah and Ben are right. Instead of “my manager must not care or she would not reduce our budget,” try “my manager cares and she also reduced out budget.” Instead of I can either train handstands, or work flexible shoulder binds - go with handstand AND binds! What changes? Can you make space for multiple perspectives?
3. Believe in magic. Forward fold, hanging over belly over your thighs, with no warm up, and take a picture so you can see your back. Grab a tennis ball and roll it around on the floor with your foot. After you massage both feet from toes to heel with the tennis ball, forward fold for another picture. Things you’d never guess are connected can have a major impact. In our bodies, and in the world.

Any examples of things you learned to accept as more complex? Or some binary view you held that you’ve started to crack open? Tell me all about it!

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