The Thought Creator

Sally Phillips

Kind I Courageous I Purpose Driven I Thoughtful I Team Player I Animal Lover I Change Maker

Published Dec 3, 2023

Welcome to the fifth edition of The Thought Creator.

My aim is to create a space where you can take a mindful moment to be inspired. In a world moving at considerable pace, I hope to provide you with an opportunity to take five, make a cuppa, sit, read, and create a thought. Where you take that thought will be up to you, I'll just be planting the seed.

In today's issue I reflect on home!

"Home is where the heart is!"

"There's no place like home!"

"But it's not a house, it's a home!"

"Home Sweet Home!"

Dictionary's list several different meanings for the word home:

Being a place of residence, place of origin or base of operations.
The place in which one's domestic affections are centered.
A person's country, city etc., especially viewed as birthplace, a residence during one's early years, or a place dear to one.

My husband and I purchased our house in the burbs 26 years ago, a cute little weatherboard in a leafy eastern suburb of Melbourne. We quickly formed wonderful friendships with our new neighbours, we bought a kelpie puppy we named Jude, and shortly thereafter rescued a cocker spaniel whose name was Kya. Literally all our furniture was hand-me-downs, beginning with whatever we could find to help us make a start. Our little house was built in the early sixties, and despite it being old and in need of repair, what started out as a house, quickly became a home.

I LOVE being at home; it is my absolute most favourite place, and I must admit that I have googled "is being a homebody a bad/negative thing?" on more than one occasion.

In a world where we tend to analyse a lot of what we do and why we do it, I was drawn to reading more about this homebody I had become. I started to reflect on my love of being home throughout the COVID pandemic. In what was a terribly stressful time for many; I found myself thriving. Was my strong preference to be at home something I should be worried about?

Dictionary.com ~ Homebody noun: a person who prefers pleasures and activities that centre around the home, with the site referencing that the term homebody comes from around the 1810s, an Americanism that combines the terms home and body:

"While a homebody likely sees themselves in a positive light because being a homebody makes them happy, not all people and cultures value homebodies equally. Whether homebodies are valued depends on a person’s or culture’s values."

Reading more has led me to learn that I am not on my own - I've found many stories about people exactly like me (ahh, the relief)! Blogger Emily Anderson shared my concerns, wondering if being a homebody made her "boring, lame, antisocial or uncool?" Emily speaks openly about how a lot of people don't quite understand her preference to be at home, but she's found a way to cut through the external noise and be confident in her decisions and ability to remain focused on the things that really matter to her.

Shona Hendley, writer for ABC Everyday is another self-confessed homebody I've discovered. In her story titled This 'self-confessed homebody' shares why it's so good to be home, sweet home, Hendley shares some thoughts of clinical psychologist and chief executive of Relationships Australia New South Wales, Elisabeth Shaw who explains that home can be important for our mental health for a variety of reasons:

"It can provide a safe place where we might feel some control in having things the way we like them, when our outer world, such as at work, can feel like many concessions to others. [It's] where we can take stock, recover and gather our thoughts to tackle other roles we might play." ~ Elisabeth Shaw

Shaw also explained that home can be a place to, "Build resilience and attend to our self-care through good rest, quiet time, meditation, connection with loved ones, hobbies and other interests that give us pleasure."

Ok, so I've made peace with my homebodiness, but have made a promise to myself that there needs to be balance, finding ways to stay connected with family and friends, with Shaw saying that you need to be able to strike the right balance.

Something I love about my home is my plants; have I turned into that crazy plant lady? Type 'crazy plant lady' into a google search and you'll discover there are about 295,000 results - so it is a real thing OK! In the book The Joyful Home, by Captain Honey's Books, house plants are talked about as mind, body and soul soothers; "they are oxygen boosters, conductors for creativity and stress reducers."

My love of having plants inside extends to my life outside, with gardening right up there as one of my favourite things to do. From a very early age I loved being in the garden, with some of my most cherished childhood memories coming from time spent in the garden. My Mum loved being in the garden and I have certainly followed in her footsteps, taking over the family lawn mowing duties as soon as Mum would allow. My Pa, Fred was also a keen gardener, and he had one of the best veggie patches in town (Trafalgar, Gippsland). Being out in the veggie patch with Pa, then heading inside to shell home-grown peas with my Nanna was the most perfect day! Pa's front garden was filled with beautiful dahlia's that I loved to take inside and arrange in a vase. My Mum Beryl, who turned 80 this year has the most beautiful garden on the street where she lives, and she also volunteers at her local bowls club once a week, with Monday's being garden club.

Reading more about gardening at greenmatters.com, Andrew Krosofsky writes in detail about the endless health benefits that come with gardening; a "great way to relieve stress, to set goals for yourself, and to nurture something." There are also the benefits of exposure to sunlight, the low and high impact exercise that comes with gardening, as well as the mental health benefits, with many studies finding that gardening can boost one's mood. I can certainly vouch for that!

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In her book Spark Joy by Marie Kondo, Marie says that "life truly begins only after you have put your house in order," and "only when you know how to choose those things that spark joy can you attain your ideal lifestyle." Marie teaches what is called the KonMari method, the basis of which is to go through your belongings and decide if they spark joy. If yes, you keep the item with confidence, if no, you honour it for the purpose it once served and then let it go. With the items that you keep Marie believes that by then taking good care of the things you love means that you are listening to and taking care of yourself.

In Japan, the end of the year is traditionally the time to clean the house in time for the New Year - something we would refer to as Spring cleaning here in Australia. By using the KonMari method, Marie believes that the process has the power to change your mindset so that you never revert to clutter - December being Marie's 'tidying festival'.

"When you surround yourself with possessions that spark joy, you'll create a home and life you love." ~ Marie Kondo

Call me crazy again, but I'm excited to continue reading Spark Joy and having a go at Marie's KonMari method of cleaning; I'll let you know how it goes!

When I think about home, I can't help but remember how much I loved the Aussie movie The Castle. In a world where we can get so easily get caught up in thinking about the things we don't have, rather than the things we do, Darryl Kerrigan's love of his family and his modest home is what sustains him and provides him with joy; "You can't buy what I've got!"

Despite the fact that they needed to move the Camira to get the Torana out so that they could get to their Commodore, needing the keys to the Cortina if they were ever going to move that Camira, the Kerrigan's lived a blissful life and fought to keep their home whilst it was under threat of being acquired by the nearby airport. I keep Darryl's quote close by as an important reminder that 'things' don't make a home, what makes a house a home isn't the bricks and mortar, it's the love and memories created.

"They’re judging the place by what it looks like, and if it doesn’t have a pool, or a classy front or a big garden, it’s not worth saving. But it’s not a house its a home, it’s got everything. People who love each other, care for each other. It’s got memories, great memories, I mean it’s a place for the family to turn to, come back to. " ~ Darryl Kerrigan

Thoughts created when I think of home, from favourite childhood memories to now, one theme is constant - 'things' were never responsible for delivering the joyful moments, it was the people, the love and the simple things in life that have provided the most happiness, they are the lasting memories that I cherish. Just like Darryl, I hope that our home will always be a place our daughters 'turn to, come back to' as they get older, and eventually have their own families and homes. And I'll never feel like I need to google whether loving a quiet life at home is something I should be worried about; there is certainly no place like home for me!