Three life lessons I learned the hard way - Part 2

Are you ready to dominate your financial course?

Then you came to the right place.

Welcome to the only newsletter that’s one part #golf, all parts #money.

I’m super happy you’re here.

You want confidence and clarity over your financial future 💪

I’m here to help guide you there. Think of me as your financial caddie.

Together, we can align your money with your life.

That's finding your financial swing.

So, if you’re feeling loose, let’s tee one up on…

Learning life lessons - the hard way

Last week I shared two of my most spectacular failures -

• I dropped out of a graduate program and saddled my self with a ton of student loan debt with nothing to show for it.
• I was fired from my "dream job" as a nonprofit executive and the news made the front page of the local newspaper.

In hindsight, while these experiences were humiliating at the time, I learned more from these "failures" than I have from any successes to this point in my life.

I learned that higher education isn't the only way to invest in yourself, and isn't always the path to a more lucrative career. In today's world, you can increase your skills, and the value of your time, through online courses, certifications, or simply from picking up a book. With enough time and intellectual curiosity, you can do anything.

I also learned several power leadership lessons, the most salient of which is this - leaders must also be followers of those they lead. This is a tough little enigma wrapped in a riddle, but think about it this way: do you think the golfer leads the caddie, or does the caddie lead the golfer?

However, neither of them compare to my third failure...

I lost my entire professional identity - twice

My third lesson was the roughest but also provided my greatest professional, and personal, growth opportunities.   

After my stint in nonprofit leadership, I decided to pivot my career into financial services.  I could give you 1,000 words on the disdain I felt for this industry before becoming a financial advisor, and while there still are some murky corners that deserve the negative reputation, it’s been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

But getting my new career off the ground wasn’t easy.

I grew up in a small, closely-knit community of no more than 10,000 people.  It’s the kind of place where you couldn’t walk into a coffee shop or stop to pump gas without bumping into someone that you knew.  It’s also the kind of town where everyone reads the local paper. 

My local network was mostly built from my role in the nonprofit sector of this community, but I knew if I was going to be successful as a financial advisor, I needed to shed the “nonprofit Judd” persona and become “financial advisor Judd” in that community’s eyes.  

By 2017, I was a newly minted CFP® and I was doing all the right things to shed my other persona.- 

• I was going to networking events.
• I was showing up, shaking hands, and doing the business lunches.
• I was participating on and leading nonprofit boards, but as a volunteer.

And after a considerable amount of time, effort, and late nights I felt like my work was starting to pay dividends. 

Then my wife hit me with the news,

“I can’t live here forever.  We need to get out of here.” 

I thought she was talking about our quaint, 1,200 square foot townhome, but she had bigger thoughts.  She had grown up in a neighboring town, and like me, she had never ventured far from home.  She didn’t want a bigger house.  She wanted to broaden her horizons and leave our home state of Pennsylvania.   

This news was crushing to me.  

I had invested so much time into rebuilding my reputation within my network as a financial advisor, and I was finally starting to see some momentum.  Moving hundreds of miles from home meant I would need to start over from scratch.  But that’s just what we did.   

A few months later, we were loading up a moving truck with all of our worldly possessions to start our next chapter in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.  That was more than five years ago.   

Over the past five years, we’ve settled into our new home, and while I can’t be the sole judge, I’d contend that I’ve built what most would consider a thriving financial advice practice, thanks in most part to some amazing clients who value the work we do for them.  Even better, I was able to do it without extensive after-hours networking or overextending myself by volunteering for every opportunity that came my way. 

In retrospect, I would consider a lot of my initial efforts to shift into my new persona to be window dressing or chasing vanity metrics.  I was trying to show up at all the “right” places and meet the “right” people to establish myself. 

Looking back it was a lot of motion, but not a lot of results – at least not positive ones. 

Sure, I was getting noticed in the community, but I also wasn’t home a lot, and I was often chasing the next happy hour introduction instead of cherishing moments at home with my wife and our newborn.  All of that was stripped away when we moved, and I had to start from scratch. 

The powerful lesson I learned here is to lean into the things that are most important to you.  For me, those are my core values:  stability, health, leadership, independence, and challenges.   

Leadership in my role as a husband and new father, embracing the challenges of being a new parent in a strange town, and providing stability to my growing family were all reasons to focus on what was going on under my roof, not outside of it.

And while I can’t credit my values for all my success (I had a few lucky breaks and work with some amazing partners) leaning into my values has me feeling more aligned with the actions I choose to take. 

This is part of the reason why I believe values should be a core part of everyone’s financial plan. 

Aligning your life with your values

In the financial world, the word “value” is more often associated with an investing style than it is with something of personal significance.  However, with nearly ten years of providing financial advice under my belt, I believe it’s vitally important that you understand your personal values before you make any kind of investment decisions. 

Why?

Your values, goals, and the actions you take should all be in alignment. 

Looking back at each of the “low points” in my life (my failed Ph.D. stint, getting fired, and moving away from home) I can see where I was chasing something that wasn’t really aligned with my values.  Obviously, none of this was evident to me at the time. 

Five years ago, I received my certification as a Behavioral Financial Advisor™.  As part of this process, I learned about something called the “alignment model.”  It’s a process by which I help clients align their actions with what’s most important to them. 

Most of my clients don’t know we actually do this.  I'm not a psychologist, and there’s no formal “let’s get you aligned” meeting or anything like that.  I take a more subtle approach that shows up in the conversations we have and the advice I give.   

Whenever a client is facing a challenging situation -

• Contemplating a career change,
• Thinking about a big move,
• Navigating challenging markets,
• Dealing with the loss of a loved one,
• Or even just trying to budget for the next big vacation

We always drive back to what’s most important to them.  The money we manage for our clients is a tool for them to create the amazing life they want to live.  My job is to help them make sure their money is aligned with that life.  

If you’re curious about finding alignment between your money and your life, it’s something you can also explore on your own. 

Here are three steps you can take to start -

1. Identify your values

What’s most important to you?

What are your principles or standards of behavior?  What’s most important in your life? 

If you’re struggling to answer these questions, there’s a number of online exercises you can employ to help you identify what’s most important to you.  This is one.

My core values include stability, health, challenges, leadership, and independence.

1. Set goals

What would you like to achieve?

This is where the magic starts to happen. 

What’s something that you’ve always wanted to do, but have never committed to putting in the time, money, or effort to achieve it?  How is this aligned with your values?

You might have a value of “adventure” which is why you should start planning for that African safari, or maybe one of your values is philanthropy and you should engage in some planning to determine how you can make the biggest impact with your money.   

My value of challenges leads me to create some lofty “bucket list” goals, like running a marathon or becoming a New York Times best-selling author.       

3. Take actions

What steps will you take to do it?

A goal without a plan is just a wish. 

Identify the concrete steps you will take to achieve your goals.  I’ll never run a marathon if I don’t commit to a race and start a training program.  Achieving this goal will take a significant amount of time and effort, but it’s capital spent given that it’s in alignment with what’s most important to me. 

Financial Swing Tips

1. Every failure is an opportunity to learn. Don't lose the lesson.
2. With enough time and a little intellectual curiosity, you can do anything.
3. Don't chase vanity metrics. Make sure your goals and actions are aligned with your values and allocate all of your assets (time, money, attention, and effort) appropriately.

PS - If you enjoyed this edition of Master the Green, then please...

• Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss next week's edition
• Give me, Judson Meinhart, CFP®, BFA™, CTS™ , a follow for more thought provoking content in your newsfeed
• Share this with a friend or followers who might benefit from the message